Jontes2017

@FishSweeper00 @Kapenguria_n @sportybetke Effects za kusomea polling station

@Kapenguria_n @sportybetke Hehehe , unasaka engagement bro, si umeeka First half Under 2.5 yet ni 3 GOALS IN 36 Minutes😂😂😂

Sportybet Kenya @sportybetke tell me how this bet is a lost bet? Market: First half over 2.5 goals.....

@brendankirotee Luckily you got home safely

LEO MWANAUME AMENITOA KWAKE 5AM IN THE MORNING JUU NILIMYIMA KUMA!!!!!!!!!!! KENYAN MEN SHOULD STYLE UP!! ACHA NIWAPEE STORI MNIAMBIE WHO'S WRONG! Jana I was chilling kwa nyumba Yangu, this fucking dude texted me, akaniuliza Niko wapi. I told him Niko kwa nyumba, nimetulia. Akaniambia niendee kwake, tu hang out. I told him "Mimi sitaki kuja kwako because I don't want to sleep with you I'm celibate" He insisted on me going He literally begged me niendee, na ni just hanging out. He finally convinced me, after alisema Mimi nitalala kwa bed yeye kwa couch Mimi kama mtoto mjinga nikajitoa na fare Yangu and I went to his place in Kitengela. 😭 I should have stayed in my house.. Ama ningerudi tuu, juu he took like 20 minutes to pick me up and was wondering after all that effort? Finally nikafika kwake, He brought my beers na yeye ajiwekea yake, after he started initiating intercourse with me Was like dude we agreed ??? I'm not sleeping with and stop touching me, Akasema amekuwa carried away 😭 To cut the long story short... Masaa ya kulala ikafika, and I told him show me the bed ni lale, Yoh! Nikidhani nitalala pekee yangu he also joined 😭 Was like wtfffffff, Kidogo kidogo, hard on in my ass, Like literally pressing it so hard on my ass, told him to stop, anaachaa after a few minutes anarudia. Nikajam, nikaenda kulala kwa Couch 🛋️ 😭 this guy didn't follow me ata kunibeg or apologise for his behaviour. Nililala uko kwa baridi 😭 5 am, jipange uendeee 😭. Akanifikisha kwa gate he opened nikatoka and he closed it behind me 😭 Wooiiiii, nilidhani iPhone Yangu Leo haita lala nyumbani I fucking want to sue this Mf 😭 Nani hapa ako na Makosa? Me or him?

@KijanayaKabras A reflection from the betrayal of the city Andika who was in front line in the protests...son of Doga and Nina, brother to jusper wendo his girlfriend Regina. Andika was killed by mulili a police officer ordered by the government to curb university protests.... Literature.

A student leader at Laikipia University who had reportedly led others in demonstrations against bad health facilities in the campus following the passing on of one of the students, was mercilessly beaten with uncounted strokes by security officers said to be policemen this evening. When we speak of bad governance, this is one of the things we mean – you cannot punish someone like that for trying to fight for their rights. It’s unacceptable!

@IsraeliPM You mean Gaza is a military camp

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, at the site of the missile hit in Arad: “If you want proof that Iran endangers the entire world, the last 48 hours have given it. In the last 48 hours, Iran targeted a civilian area. gov.il/en/pages/event…

@DrDennisOuma The same case 90% of luo men have echaivi

-The CONSEQUENCES of SINGLE MOTHERS in the KIKUYU TRIBE.😊😊 -This was MATAHA FESTIVAL, a kikuyu Tribe music FESTIVAL 🤗🤗 -NO MEN ,just single mothers drinking, Dancing,🙂 -Having left Their kids with ailing GRANDPARENTS AT HOME. 99% of KIKUYU WOMEN ARE SINGLE MOTHERS🤭🤭🤭

@mwauradani @georgediano Very few I tell you

@georgediano Very few understand maina njenga and what he stands for.

They say God works in mysterious ways, but sometimes even the devil scratches his head. Picture this, Maina Njenga, the “former” Mungiki boss, boarding a plane to Libya in 2011 with other cultural elders, all looking like they were heading to a United Nations summit, yet half of them didn’t even have matching sandals. Now, Njenga wasn’t exactly on the elders’ guest list. But somehow, Gaddafi the man who used to wear sunglasses even at night personally asked for him. The rumor is that Gaddafi thought Maina was Daniel arap Moi’s son. Maybe it was the bald head that looked like an overboiled matumbe. Or maybe Gaddafi was just tired of his intelligence officers feeding him fairy tales. When they landed, Gaddafi received them like kings. Camels were slaughtered, drums were beaten, and Egypt’s traditional muratina flowed like River Kiminini in April. Gaddafi in his usual generosity, pulled out a cheque of $90M just like that, and told them it was for spreading his dream of a united Africa. Maina of course, heard “spread the wealth and try politics” like a typical Kikuyu man. Ndura Waruinge later claimed part of the money was meant to build mosques every few kilometers in Central Kenya. But when they realized Central folks would sooner build a car wash than a mosque, they changed strategy and turned to Jesus. Hallelujah! Even Mungiki decided they’d had enough of blood and blades and switched to Bible study and praising Yehova Wanyonyi. So, if you ever see Maina Njenga these days smiling in church, just know somewhere deep inside, he’s remembering that one magical week in Libya,, the week he met Gaddafi, ate minofi and bagged enough money to make even God raise an eyebrow. Na kama kawa siku zote sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu. 👀

@ItsAmahAdoma It's raining everywhere,pick mud the size of your choice and create the man you want coz he doesn't exist

He doesn’t smoke He doesn’t drink He doesn’t womanise He doesn’t party He stays at home He doesn’t bet Where can I find him??

@calvinokello4 Eventually everyone will taste death it's just a matter of when

Dear Luos. Only one community is wishing for the death of our supreme leader, Baba Raila Odinga. Not the Kalenjins, not the Kisiis, not the Luhyas, not the Maasai's, none but one. We all know where we will NOT take our votes.

@Dykemae @NjiruAdv He vied for gichugu parliamentarian seat in 2013 alongside 9 others under the narc party,he came in a distance 4th place having garnered less than 6%of total votes

@NjiruAdv Have you ever been elected in any elective post? Hata kama ni LSK. Look at who is uniting to send Ruto home

Fellow Kenyans, I said it. And I stand by it.

@NjiruAdv The enemy is former DO

The STATE…The CRAFT

@EtalePhilip Not Kenyan shilling

I just sat with a Rwandese young man who sells roasted nuts (njugu karanga) somewhere in Woodley. A very amiable and respectful guy. I asked him if he enjoys his job… “mimi napenda hii kazi sana. Huku Kenya ni kuzuri sana na mimi huamka asubuhi mapema na kuzunguka kila mahali”. I was impressed. I posed another question, “wewe huingiza hela ngapi kwa siku?”… he posed and stared at me for a few seconds then responded “siku nzuri sana mimi huingiza shilingi elfu- nane lakini siku zingine elfu- tano hadi sita”… now this is the story, these young men walking around selling coffee, maandazi, and nuts, are not Kenyans, they are foreigners from our neighbouring countries. They are making money, big money. Imagine Kes. 5,000 a day times 30 days =150,000 a month.

@NjiruAdv Sema tutam bwana wakili

Na hawa ndio wanasema ati wanataka accountability, ati wako partyless, wako tribeless, ati na wanataka good governance? Really?

@HonAdenDuale To fellow kenyans, kindly remember this is the cs health,eat fruits daily and thank me later

@Mkenyaa_daima @callmebrima Very informative

Kenya shilling is stronger than Japan's Yen, but Japan is far ahead of us. Why? Because a weak Yen helps them sell more. Example: A Toyota costs 2M Yen in Japan. If 1 KES = 1 Yen → 2M KES. If 1 KES = 1.5 Yen → 1.3M KES. Same car, same price in Japan, but cheaper for us. More sales = more jobs. That’s why Japan keeps their currency weak to boost exports and discourage imports. Now Ghana: Their Cedi looks stronger (1 Cedi = 11 KES) because in 2007 they removed 4 zeros. 10,000 old cedis became 1 new one. Didn’t change life, just made the currency look cleaner. But here's the trick: 👉 Weakening your currency only works if you manufacture and export a lot, and import very little. If you import more than you export (like Kenya), a weak currency just makes life more expensive — fuel, food, medicine, everything. So it's not about strong or weak currency — it's about how self-reliant and productive your economy is.

Finance experts,why is it that Kenya has the strongest currency compared to Japanese Yen while in terms of development wametupiga 10 nil? On the other hand,Ghana currency yao imetushinda but ikikuja welfare hawatuoni. How does this work?

@C_NyaKundiH @gpdkaluma

Have you ever encountered someone so painfully stupid that you had to lower yourself just a bit, just to avoid embarrassing them too badly? Like you actually slow down your brain so the conversation can continue?

@Oscar_Sudii This is the original account the rest are pseudo

@abuyamasta I don't understand English but whatever @abuyamasta is saying about @WilliamsRuto is true he is a wantam president

@HonAdenDuale Nikikumbuka wewe ndio cs health nakula matunda Kwa wingi

@FGaitho237 When

Start the march to StateHouse from wherever you are by 12:50 pm. Members of the public are asked to clear town. Use ExpressWay for those on Uhuru Highway.