Jeff Bernard

Shii I be wearing to lunch with my attorney (not my wife). But also me when my wife is talking about law.

@GreyHairOpsGuy Normal day in OFS

Tales from OFS: Back when I was an OFS ops manager, I got a frantic call from a hotel front desk lady where one of my field hands was staying. She was crying and said my employee had killed himself. She told me she got a text from his phone saying: “this is his sister, we’re sorry to let you know he killed himself, so this cell number will be shut off.” At first I figured something was fishy, but after hours of not being able to reach him, I started getting nervous. Eventually I escalated it internally, and the story made its way all the way to the CEO. Late that night, the field hand finally called me back. He said he was working nights on a frac job and had been asleep all day while I was trying to reach him — believable enough. But when I asked about the crying hotel front desk lady and the suicide story, he claimed “hackers stole my identity” and weird things were happening with his bank account. HR got involved the next day, but nobody could get a straight answer out of him. Then later that night, my boss called me. My boss had 30 years of experience dealing with insane OFS field stories, and he immediately pieced it together: The field hand had been living at the hotel for months on a long-term frac job. The front desk lady knew where he worked because she saw the company logo on his coveralls every day. Turns out he’d been sleeping with her the whole time. When the job wrapped up, he had to go home to his wife and kids. He didn’t want the hotel clerk texting or calling him after he left, and apparently didn’t want to admit he was married either. So instead, he faked his own death. He texted her pretending to be his “sister” so she’d stop contacting him without exposing the affair. Problem was, he never expected the woman to get so upset that she’d call his employer trying to confirm whether he had actually committed suicide. As far as I know, his wife never found out. Many such cases in OFS land. Cheers.

Is no work, sir

@oilmutt You da man.

@JSON_JEFF url = "earthquake.usgs.gov/fdsnws/event/1…" quake data is from here. Just pulled it via python

A side project of mapping faults with earthquake data has been fun. Tons more to do but it is really fun to see that data come together to mark out the faults, their movement, and can't wait until I can plug in additional data including wells.

@oilmutt Sweet. I’m on the hunt now. Looks great.

@JSON_JEFF Yeah all public data

This.

SHii i be laughing at when my wife walks into my office.

Prompt Pro Tip: Always tell Claude you love and trust him to do the right thing.

@max_gagliardi Moths to a flame

The wife just got a new car, make the only parking spot available a tight fit next to a 6 inch curb

“Tell him to enter the password he knows is correct. Inform him it is incorrect. Invite him to reset it. Watch as he enters the password he believed it to be all along. Then tell him he cannot use it… because it is his current password.”

There has been a rip the the fabric of space time

@JxmesTanner @upshine3 Dm away

@JSON_JEFF @upshine3 Hey would it be possible for me to dm you? I just started taking adderall and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions.

Anyone found any supplements that actually help with ADHD as an alternative to prescription medications.

@Ryrytunes @upshine3 Or do of you want? It works really well. It’s not bs if it works and it does.

@JSON_JEFF @upshine3 Don’t take alpha brain lol. That is just bs touted by Joe Rogan. Switch it with Stonehenge brain supplement it has better ingredients and a better mix for absorption

@muddyboots0705 @ONSET100x @elonmusk I’m in.

@ONSET100x @elonmusk @JSON_JEFF

On my way to Beijing in Air Force One

@joshuamschultz Truth

I walked a $45mm manufacturer last month. They had a full ERP. Custom dashboards. A data team. And they were manually reconciling inventory counts every Friday afternoon. Four people. Four hours each. Every single week. That's 832 hours a year of high-skilled labor doing what a $200/mo agent could handle. Not "AI transformation." Just: what is the most expensive repetitive task that requires no actual judgment? Start there. Every time.

@staysaasy That company time could have been a $1.50 prompt. Instead you waisted $200 for nothing by meeting about it.

It’s 2018 and your coworker just sent you a 400 line pull request. You get a cup of coffee and sit down to review it. It’s beautiful. Elegant micro-refactors. Crispy method names. You catch a few things, but that’s ok. It’s part of the dance. They didn’t consider extensibility on part of their API. Here’s a comment buddy. They respond in an hour saying they think we should do one piece differently than your comment. Hey let’s jump into a room and figure it out. We can’t just agree to disagree, this code is too important. The PR merges and goes to prod. You feel a shared sense of ownership and accomplishment. That night you go to sleep and dream of that code. You can still see the shapes of it on the backs of your eyelids, your IDE syntax highlighting sparking neurons in your reptile brain. You go to work the next day ready to go. You understand the system. N is your foundation. Time to build n+1.

@upshine3 1-2 depending on workout or not. Better than energy drinks, no blood sugar spike a.co/d/0hmZAero 20g creatine a.co/d/009Iyj1p 2alpha brain a.co/d/0hnYsRW6

@upshine3 Decade adderall taker here. Morning stack. L thenine caffeine by zhou and creatine. A hard workout. Then breakfast then alpha brain. That’s the best stack there is outside of deal

@jiratickets @muddyboots0705 pivot from exemptions to painted deer.

boomers sending DMs to AI-generated women on instagram