Jackson!

god i hate blonde men they always have so many opinions and for what ?

well ritual sacrifice isn’t an exact science

The djinn has fled. It is roaming northern Virginia. Please inform me if you see it. It is a spiteful critter and I wish to place it in chains again,,thank you

if it involves alcohol, sunshine or potatoes, i’m probably down for it

i believe in true love the way i believe in meth. i know it is real. i have tried it, by accident. it makes me insane. i do not have much interest in trying it again, at the moment. but i am a believer in true love.

Can i talk to you in the forest about something

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

the lord has blessed us this day

whenever i check out a book from the library i want the librarian to say holy fuck omg dude this book is the best good job you win!!!

sometimes the spirits of all the people i killed come back to haunt me for my terrible crimes and i'm like oh yeah i forgot i did that haha ok back to the soul jar with you.

Getting drunk alone in my house as a prank

Shit gays be doing instead of just having sex

i’ve pulled everyone i wanted i just can’t make them stay #insanenotugly

computer remind me to be merciful even when i am consumed by rage

Living in a nursing home shouldn’t mean giving up everyday freedoms. I just signed a bill allowing seniors living in nursing homes to consume alcohol - so that everyone can enjoy happy hour!

no disrespect to wizard who believe themselves to be wiser than the council but that could never be me. i am far too wise to do something so foolish. perhaps even wiser than the council

take a drag off my CBD cigarette call that a diet toke

[ in a world where we intuit that numbers are soft and not crunchy ] lemme just smoosh the numbers real quick

Do you ever just have this deep seated desire to bother people. I have clown blood

colonizers write about flowers. i tell you about children throwing rocks at israeli tanks seconds before becoming daisies. i want to be like those poets who care about the moon. palestinians don’t see the moon from jail cells and prisons. it’s so beautiful, the moon.