James

@SandyofCthulhu I’ve been trying to pitch a Sorting Hat spin-off movie for years, nobody will listen to me

I'm going to again pitch the idea thatt Rowling's wizarding world has SO MANY INTERESTING PLACES TO SET STORIES. WE DON'T NEED HOGWARTS. Look - imagine a series set in Durmstrang, an school in which the headmaster literally was a Death Eater and was murdered for betraying the cult. The adventures would be fabulous. Also bear in mind that they need to be constantly bedeviled and enchanted by the wicked witches of Beauxbatons. I know in the books Durmstrang & Beauxbatons aren't all-boy or all-girl but it could make the series super interesting particularly because all the school dances and festivals they'd have to mix, and the general separation would lead to the teenagers being even more socially clumsy than the idiots at Hogwarts which would be hilarious.

THIS MAN IS LYING THROUGH HIS TEETH

McSweeney was the PMs chief of staff when his phone was 'stolen' & it would have contained all sorts of sensitive info Starmer wants us to believe McSweeney just reported it stolen like any member of the public would & it wasn't an issue for the cabinet office/security services

Is This Plausible? I am Morgan Macsweeney I am Chief Of Staff to the Prime Minister of Great Britain and Northern Ireland I hold a top-secret security clearance I own a mobile phone I use this phone to conduct Government Business I use this phone to message with Lord Mandelson My phone is tracked by GCHQ There are protocols for officials using personal phones to conduct Government business My communications are monitored to ensure they are not intercepted My phone is "stolen" a month after Lord Mandelson is sacked The police do not investigate The phone is not tracked down The police are too busy to track down the phone the most senior member of the Prime Minister's team - someone with a top-secret security clearance I do not contact my service provider to block the stolen phone I do not consider asking GCHQ to do this as a national security priority I do not ask for a replacement sim I do not buy a new phone I do not activate my new phone with the new sim I do not log-in to my Google account I do not select "Restore" I do not download WhatsApp I do not recover my messages Nobody, ever, who had their phone stolen was ever able to get their messages back. @UKLabour @Keir_Starmer DO YOU THINK WE ARE ALL STUPID? It is the cover-up that will take you down

@StephenMulhern @antanddec Palestine, Iran, Lebanon, Sudan or Myanmar

If @antanddec could send me anywhere in the world for Accidental Tourist… where do you think they should be dropping me off?

@joe_clapton Middle name is ‘Leslie’ and has an Aga at home

Listened to “rat boy” in 2026, what was all that about

What were you feeling when you were cheating on your dying wife?

@intothecrevasse ‘Girls San Fransisco Christopher Owens’

I’d like this on a shirt, but searching every permutation of “girls + band + album” has proven fruitless — anyone have any suggestions on workarounds for history’s most SEO-proof artistic work

@LegacySiu Anelka

Guess the player Very Hard

@Lord_Sugar Amstrad got any plans for a phone in the near future Lord?

Yes

Got to do something about these missing chidlren grabbed by the perverts. Too many incidents--fast trial, death penalty.

Elon Musk desperately trying to get on to pedophile atrocity island and having the most evil people in the world be like “nah this guys sucks” puts him at a level of loser we’ve never seen before

@_andrewkerr_ You mean TG Jones right?

Spent a grand in Euston WHSmith

Claudia has a magic button #TheTraitors

@DiscussingFilm Shot like a Just Eat advert

First teaser for ‘BAIT’, starring Riz Ahmed The series follows a man who manages to audition to be the next James Bond but his life spirals out of control once everyone weighs in on whether he is the right for the job. Releasing March 25 on Prime Video

Hahahahahahahahaha

@DuncanBannatyne @benonwine You’d love it Dunc

@benonwine Nope. I have never seen an episode either

Am I the only one who has never seen a single episode of the Traitors?

looooool

listens to Up the Bracket once

@edgarwright HEAVY METAL WAS SO 2024 BRO!

It’s that time of year! Here's my TOP 50 SONGS OF 2025, a mix of longtime favourites and brand-new discoveries. Let me know what you love, especially if there’s something new to you. Play it loud, listen in order, and ENJOY. linktr.ee/edgarwright