
James B
666 posts

James B
@Jambac311
Giving form to the void through words “to seek and to save that which was lost”




You can’t solve sales Sales isn’t a problem that gets solved I was in the car today with the CFO of one of my portcos. We were going through quarterly numbers. His phone rings. He picks up because he’s expecting a call from his controller. It’s not his controller. It’s some guy pitching sales rep training On speaker. In the car. With me sitting right there This man is a CFO. He runs finance. He does not run sales. He has never run sales. He doesn’t want to run sales. The fact that someone cold called the CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER to pitch sales rep training tells me everything I need to know about the operation that placed this call. They didn’t research who they were calling. They didn’t check the title. They didn’t look at the org chart. They found a phone number attached to a C-suite title at a company in their target industry and they dialed. This is the “sales expertise” they’re selling. This is the sales process they want to teach our reps. They can’t even target the right person in a 4 person executive team The CFO looks at me. I look at him. He lets the guy talk for about 45 seconds. The pitch is that they offer “customized sales training programs that help B2B teams close more effectively.” The CFO says thank you but we’re not interested. The guy asks if there’s someone else in the organization he should speak with about this. The CFO looks at me again. I shake my head. He says no and hangs up We sat in silence for about 10 seconds and then I started ranting and I haven’t stopped since so here we are Let me explain what that man just pitched into because I need him and everyone like him to feel the full weight of what happened That portco sits inside a holding structure where we run quant-level sales analytics across every single portfolio company simultaneously. The company whose CFO just got cold called about sales rep training runs on a unified data infrastructure that we built. Every sales conversation at that company is recorded, transcribed, and fed into a conversation intelligence layer that extracts 340+ behavioral signals per call. Not keywords. Behavioral signals. Micro-hesitations measured in milliseconds. Tonal shifts when pricing is introduced. The specific sentence structure a prospect uses when they’ve already decided to buy but haven’t said it yet versus when they’re gathering information for a competitor. We distinguish between these two states with 81% accuracy from the first 4 minutes of the call We run Meta Tribe simulations on every major campaign before we launch. For the guy on the phone who will never read this but should, Meta Tribe lets you build synthetic audience panels that model behavioral responses of your target segments before you spend a single cent on real outreach. You define the psychographic and behavioral parameters of your ICP. You feed in your messaging, pricing, positioning, objection handling. The simulation runs thousands of synthetic interactions and returns predicted response distributions. Conversion probability by segment. Price sensitivity curves. Message resonance scoring. Objection frequency and type. Before a single rep picks up the phone we already know which segments will convert, at what price, with what messaging, and what the primary objection will be We layer Microfish on top for competitive simulation. Microfish models the prospect’s decision environment including every competing option they’re evaluating. It simulates the evaluation process across all alternatives simultaneously. It tells you where your positioning is weak relative to specific competitors for specific segments. It tells you which features the prospect will weight highest based on their behavioral profile. It tells you what your competitor would need to offer to win the deal and therefore what your rep needs to preemptively address before the prospect even raises it We do this across every portco. Unified infrastructure. Shared learnings. A behavioral signal that predicts conversion in a logistics portco gets tested across the industrial services portco and the healthcare services portco and if it holds it goes into the master model. Cross-industry behavioral database of B2B buying patterns. 14,000+ opportunities across 9 industries over 3 years. Models improve quarterly. Portfolio-wide close rate went from 19% to 37% since implementation. Sales cycle length dropped 31%. CAC dropped 22% And some guy cold called the CFO to offer sales rep training The CFO. The man who looks at the P&L. Who sees the line item impact of every system I just described. Who can quantify exactly how much revenue those models generate per quarter because he’s the one consolidating the numbers. That CFO. That’s who they called. To pitch training. For reps who already walk into every call with a pre-call briefing generated by a system that tells them the prospect’s likely objections, the messaging that will resonate based on behavioral profile, the price point they’ll accept, and the competitive alternative they’re most likely evaluating Our head of sales( more like the more you fuck around the more you find out but that roll isn’t common) built this. He took our original scoring model and rebuilt it into something I don’t fully understand and I understand most things. He integrated the conversation intelligence signals with the prospect scoring model with the Meta Tribe outputs into a single system. He found that the prospect’s email domain type combined with LinkedIn posting frequency in the 30 days before first contact combined with whether the company recently posted a job listing in a related function predicts close probability with 82% accuracy. He found that when a prospect asks about implementation before asking about price they close at 2.1x the rate. He found that when a prospect brings a technical person to the second meeting they’re 3x more likely to close within 30 days. These aren’t vibes. These are measured correlations across thousands of opportunities He is so fucking passionate about it and I say that with admiration. He operates at a level of analytical depth on human buying behavior that I haven’t seen anywhere not even in myself and I’ve looked. He expanded on our models and made them better and then built things I hadn’t even conceptualized. And he does this across multiple portcos simultaneously so every company’s data improves every other company’s model And the pitch that came in on speaker in my car was “customized sales training that helps B2B teams close more effectively” I need you to feel the distance between those two things This is the problem with every single person pitching sales consulting and sales training and sales coaching and AI sales tools to companies they haven’t researched. You are selling based on what you IMAGINE the prospect’s situation looks like. You didn’t research. You didn’t ask. You didn’t look at their tech stack, their hiring patterns, their portfolio structure, who owns them, what infrastructure sits behind them. You assumed they’re unsophisticated because most companies are. And most companies are. But you called a portco inside a holding structure that runs behavioral simulations on purchasing decisions and has a cross-portfolio dataset informing every call and you offered to teach their reps how to close You cold called the CFO to do this You didn’t even call the right person Your ICP targeting, the literal foundation of the sales expertise you’re selling, failed at the most basic level. You pitched the wrong person at the wrong company with the wrong offer at the wrong level of sophistication. And this is your JOB. This is the thing you charge money for. The thing you are demonstrating right now in real time IS the product you’re selling. And it doesn’t work. It obviously doesn’t work. You just proved it doesn’t work by doing it badly to someone who was sitting next to someone who builds the systems you’re pretending to replace If your opener is “help your team close more effectively” I know immediately you have zero idea what you’re talking about. No expert in sales would say they’re an expert in sales. They would say they specialize in shortening enterprise sales cycles in technical B2B environments. Or they optimize demo-to-close conversion for companies with deal sizes between €50K and €200K. Specificity is what makes someone trust you. Saying you improve sales makes me trust you with nothing. Saying you reduced sales cycle length by 40% for 3 industrial services companies selling six figure contracts to operations directors makes me think you might know something because you just described a world I live in But you didn’t say that. You said “close more effectively.” To the CFO. On a cold call. That he picked up by accident because he thought it was his controller Please saar send calendar link. I would love to pay a retainer so you can teach closing techniques to reps who already know what the prospect is going to say before the prospect says it because a machine learning model told them at 8 AM that morning. Very excited to outsource our entire sales methodology to a person who couldn’t even identify the right decision maker at a 200 person company. Please also saar let’s do revenue share so I can pay you a percentage of revenue generated by infrastructure you didn’t know existed while you run a two day workshop on objection handling Stop calling portco execs. You are embarrassing yourself in rooms you didn’t know existed and the people in those rooms are laughing about you in cars on the way to meetings you’ll never be in





















