Keith the Apocalypse Bringer is a three-year-old Anglo-Nubian goat in a field in Devon.
Keith should not be underestimated.
Keith has been systematically dismantling the ecosystem since approximately 7am, when he ate a bramble. This is significant because bramble is an invasive scrub species that outcompetes wildflowers, reduces biodiversity, and creates dense monoculture thicket that nothing else can use.
Keith ate it. Keith does this every day. Keith does not charge for this service.
8:15am - Keith ate a thistle. Thistles are also considered invasive scrub in managed pasture. Goldfinches eat thistle seeds, but Keith's grazing will ensure the pasture remains open enough for the ground-nesting birds that can't use dense scrub. Keith has not attended a conservation workshop. Keith arrived at this conclusion by being a goat.
9:00am - Keith dismantled a section of hedge. This was less helpful. Keith does not have a perfect record.
10:30am - Keith escaped the field. He was in the road for eleven minutes. He ate a neighbour's rose. This is not being counted in Keith's environmental impact assessment.
11:00am - Keith was returned to the field. Keith regarded the farmer with the specific expression of an animal that does not recognise the concept of property.
12:00pm - Keith ate more bramble. His digestive system: four stomachs, a rumen full of specialised microorganisms, the ability to extract nutrition from lignified plant matter that would defeat any other animal on this field, is converting scrub vegetation into milk with a fat content of approximately 4.5%. The milk will become cheese. The cheese will be sold at the farm shop. The farm shop is four miles away. The cheese food miles are: four.
3:00pm - Keith produced manure. The manure will grow the grass. The grass will grow the bramble. The bramble will be eaten by Keith.
This system has no inputs.
It has been running since goats were domesticated approximately ten thousand years ago.
Keith is not aware he is saving the planet.
Keith is thinking about whether the fence on the north side has a weak point.
It does. Keith found it at 4:45pm.
Keith got out again.
It’s my birthday! 29 years old.
So much love and gratitude for everyone I have come across on this now fifteen plus year journey of dream chasing.
You all mean the world to me, thank you so much.
Was playing a game with a friend's kids, mid 20s, and I never felt so old!
We answered the question before they finished it and they could not grasp how we knew a Sheep from the 1980s without more info.
Cmon #GenX answer it - Name the famous sheep from the 1980s no more info.
Didn’t know what to say yesterday. Made #NACL. Finally did it, this is a small thing in my life but completing a goal I’ve wanted for years feels good. Might have to start posting clips to show people I’m not ass 👀👀👀 #UNCS2THELEAGUE
Why COL Lewis Millett Would Never Command In Today's Army 🧵
Courtesy of @grok unhinged! It's hilarious but highlights the significant issues with today's Commander's Assessment Program in the Army.👇
Alright, buckle up—here’s an unhinged rant about COL Lewis Millett that’ll make you want to storm a hill with nothing but a rusty bayonet and a death wish. This absolute legend, this red-blooded American badass, led a bayonet charge—yes, a BAYONET CHARGE—up Hill 180 in Korea, skewering commies like it was a backyard BBQ. Medal of Honor? Damn right he got it. But stick him in today’s Army? They’d slap him with a rejection letter from their precious Commander’s Assessment Program (CAP) faster than you can say “PowerPoint warrior.” Let’s rip this travesty apart.
First off, CAP? What a steaming pile of bureaucratic horse crap. It’s the Army’s way of sniffing out “leaders,” but it’s really just a conveyor belt for spineless yes-men who kiss the right boots and polish the right slides. Risk-averse? Check. Corporate drones? Check. Combat-ready killers? Nah, those guys get the boot. Millett would’ve been a walking middle finger to this system, and they’d hate him for it.
Why? Oh, let’s count the ways they’d screw this hero. One: Doctrine? Millett didn’t give a rat’s ass about your sacred TTPs. Hill 180 wasn’t some playbook crap—it was pure, gut-driven, kill-or-be-killed insanity. CAP would clutch their pearls and mark him “too aggressive,” like that’s a bad thing when you’re, y’know, AT WAR. Two: Violence? Hell yes, he brought it. Bayonets through chests because that’s how you win. Today’s Army would whine about “escalation” or “ optics”—“Did you consider de-escalation, Colonel?” they’d bleat. Screw that—Millett knew the enemy doesn’t RSVP to a hug fest.
Three: Discipline? Toughness? Millett drilled his guys ‘til they could stab a shadow in the dark. Today, that’s “toxic.” CAP wants leaders who coddle, not forge. They’d rather you run a sensitivity seminar than a bayonet course. Four: Peer reviews? Subordinate feedback? Millett didn’t give a damn if Private Snuffy liked his bedtime stories—he cared if they’d follow him into hell. CAP would tank him for not being “approachable” enough while he was busy winning wars.
This man was a warrior—a snarling, dirt-covered, victory-obsessed beast. And today’s Army would rather promote the pencil-pushing schmuck who told him to stand down. We’re churning out officers who’d rather game the system than game the enemy—guys who’d trip over their own red tape before they’d charge a hill. Millett’s the kind of leader we need when the bullets fly, not some suit who aces a climate survey.
CAP’s a meat grinder for real warfighters—it spits out Milletts and churns up careerists who’d lose a bar fight, let alone a war. We’re screwed if the next Hill 180 comes and we’ve got General Buzzword instead of a Millett. Time to ditch the surveys, burn the manuals, and let the killers lead—or we’re all just cannon fodder for the next guy with a sharper bayonet. Rant over. Fix this, Army, or we’re toast.
Teamed up with @Firearms_Depot to give away 1,000 rounds of Blazer brass case 9mm ammo.
To enter it's pretty simple:
-Like this page and the Firearms Depot page.
-Comment on this post
Next Monday a random number generator will pick the winner from the comments section. Good luck 🇺🇸