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@punishedgarage My white liberal mom: "I want this room Latinx-and-span."
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Jenn Wyer (he/him)
21.5K posts
Jenn Wyer (he/him)
@JennWyer
'I can never tell when he's joking.' —@hotfountainpen | 'Either a crazy person or impressive commitment to the bit.' —@mcrumps | 'An actual freak.' —@idkmanwow
San Francisco, CA Katılım Temmuz 2020
2.1K Takip Edilen613 Takipçiler
@SighFieri I'm a millennial and that's the only emoji I use. It isn't passive-aggressive, it's polite.
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Thumbs up emoji. 👍 most passive aggressive / boomer shit ever. I HATE IT.
mira ♡@miraatwt
how do you text "okay" but in the rudest way possible
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I’m gonna propose the Shut Up, Nerds Act:
* Indoor smoking is legal again
* Smoking and drinking age is 16
* Open containers legal again as long as your BAC is under a generous legal limit
* As many people as you want in your car, because this is America
I predict the birth rate will double in ten years.
Slow News Day@SlowNewsDayShow
A used car that runs well enough that you'd put your 16yr old in will run you $6-16k. Insuring a teenager is $3-5k a year. Gas is $4/gal nationally. Fast food costs $15-20. Hanging out almost anywhere is illegal. There's not a ton of incentive unless your parents are loaded
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@JoshAustin610 @feraljokes Which of the band's many hits are you referring to?
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@feraljokes I worked at Gamestop when that song was in the Borderlands commercial (which played about every 15 minutes), so I just had a visceral reaction.
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Cage The Elephant
Dan Druff@spoonfulofglass
I always talk about bands that suck. What bands do you think suck?
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@andrews_ad15574 Pronouns are awesome and for winners, actually.
x.com/i/status/16325…
Jenn Wyer (he/him)@JennWyer
I added parenthetical pronouns to my display name partly because my conventionally female pseudonym had confused people but mostly as a honeypot for assholes.
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@JennWyer I’ve never seen such a tough guy with pronouns by his name.
Kudos to you (bro/broski/bud).
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I have never shut up because I was told to. I have never fucked off because I was told to. You'd think that after nearly thirty-six years, people would stop thinking they're special and I'm going to make an exception for them.
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@countrybuns @jcenters @ChristinaPushaw A sign that I know how to use the search function? Guilty as charged.
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@JennWyer @jcenters @ChristinaPushaw If so many people are telling you to shut up that you can retrieve a 5 year old tweet in under 2 minutes to use in this exact context. Well. It’s probably a sign
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@JennWyer @countrybuns @ChristinaPushaw You seem really stressed out. You could use a nice, relaxing cigarette.
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@JennWyer @BriannaWu @GKCJosh Any other trivial, inconsequential bullshit you wanna waste time over?
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The worst kept secret in Washington was that Lindsey Graham was gay. I’m sorry if that’s news to y’all, but this is just something that is known.
And I think it’s sad that he died alone fucking prostitutes who literally hated him and mocked him, which is why everyone knew.
I’m not reveling in anyone’s death. I genuinely think that’s sad. I think most closeted gay men of Lindsay Graham’s generation are tragedies.
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@JennWyer @BriannaWu @GKCJosh and it is SOOOOO fucking cringe that you have these little plugs all over your tiny little account, like you're really somebody lol... and some of those accounts don't even exist anymore 🤣🤣
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@shoulder_roll @BriannaWu @GKCJosh 49.8 percent is a plurality, not a majority, let alone "most of the country."
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@JennWyer @BriannaWu @GKCJosh He got more votes than any other candidate. Now, how does that change the world? Any other trivial, inconsequential bullshit you wanna waste time over?
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@JennWyer @BriannaWu @GKCJosh Trump won the popular vote, ackshually. Get out of your bubble, dumbass pointless nitpicking pronoun lister. factcheck.org/2024/11/trump-…
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@fadule_ The only Nolan film I've seen is FOLLOWING, which isn't here.
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Christoper Nolan movies ranked:
Tier 3 - you don’t need to watch these more than once
9. Dunkirk
8. Memento
7. Batman Begins
6. Oppenheimer
Tier 2 - these are amazing on TV especially December 26th-30th
5. Dark Knight Rises
4. The Prestige
Tier 1 - you should watch these every year the rest of your life
3. Inception
2. The Dark Knight
1. Interstellar
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@BriannaWu @GKCJosh If he didn't, he should have. Just like most of the country did.
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@acenter102 As a white American familiar with neither anime nor @SpongeBob, I would have nothing to talk about with this hypothetical Japanese fellow.
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@alecrobbins BECAUSE I lived with my parents, I resisted the urge until I was nearly seventeen, by which point I had cheated myself out of like three years of formative fappage.
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jacking off is an S-tier activity severely gimped by being introduced when you still live with your parents. if you didn’t unlock jacking off until age 20 nobody would ever feel weird about it. you’d just be like “oh man that’s sick. i’ll do that every day forever now”
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so funny to have shame about jacking off. like oh you do that thing you can do for free that feels insanely good, that everyone does????? that’s fucked up man… what’s wrong with you……
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@lazyrins @alecrobbins I've never done it without producing something.
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@jcenters @ChristinaPushaw I grew up in that America and it sucked ass. Smoking is disgusting.
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@ChristinaPushaw Yes. It was called America and it was awesome.
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@StephenFleming I'm forty and have never driven. My parents never drove, so I just never learned. Simple story.
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Yet another friend with a child turning 16 next week. Hasn’t gotten a learner’s permit. Zero interest in a driver’s license. I keep hearing this same story.
What’s WRONG with these kids?!?! On my 16th birthday, my mom took me out of school to take my driving test. Same for everyone I knew.
Even if you couldn’t afford your own car, you could beg the use of the family station wagon occasionally. Freedom. Independence. Heck, privacy on a date! Are these kids giving all that up for scrolling TikTok and an occasional Uber?
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Always funny when dumb guys on here accuse me of using big words on purpose like sorry man that’s just the word that means the thing I’m talking about
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