Jess Express

@AndrewJTobias This is good coverage. Thanks 🙏

Zac Haines, a GOP state senate candidate, criticizes Amy Acton. “And now she wants to rebrand herself as a unifier, as a uniter, as bipartisan. And yet, as a candidate, the first act that she did was probably to pick the most divisive, partisan running mate she possibly could.”

Hello from Kimball Midwest in Columbus, where the Ohio Chamber of Commerce PAC is announcing it’s endorsing Vivek Ramaswamy in this year’s governor’s race.

@ReveriefitRae That “seeeeaaatssss” note is really cooking her lmao you can tell her comfortable range because she folds immediately

My grandma is spinning in her grave. If she was till alive to see this she’d be soooo mad at Carrie for this. Jesus Christ this is baaaadddd.

@caliginousomber @ReveriefitRae She sounds off key and looks bloated. Yes, this is bad

@ReveriefitRae There’s nothing bad about this.

I spoke to McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning. He said we should end the war with Iran, quit giving aid to Israel, stop spying on Americans without a warrant, and he’s really sorry about how my primary turned out.

@Sophaller8C I have a similar routine but: 1) gray washcloths never stain 2) love Dove down, unscented 1/4 moisturizer is the best. Lather in your hands first to get it warm & bubbly 3) straight back pony to get the forehead & roots that makeup blends into 4) Jergens unscented lotion after ❤️

the most tom boy getting ready for bed you”ll see 😅

this can’t be the same heat george washington was wearing a wig in

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.? Because we gave them that L in 1776.

i am at taylor swifts wedding and it’s a cash bar

“i asked chat gpt” well i asked tupac & he said that’s why he fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker

@ctxlken @aravosis Lincoln Logs should be in the Kentucky tent. But this looks like a mess anyway.

@aravosis I think those are Lincoln Logs rather than Legos in the Illinois tent. Land of Lincoln, get it? 😆 Were we the only state playing with those growing up? Are they still made of wood?

Yesterday I visited Donald Trump’s “Great American State Fair” at the National Mall. To call it a bust would be generous. Here’s my short summary of the visit. Enjoy!

He's like "I'm not just the ring bearer... I'm the main character today" 😂👔🌸

How the Salem Witch Trials started

Cuándo termine la tesis, voy a poner en la dedicatoria a mi perrito que se desveló conmigo tantas noches

@justalexoki His phone in his hand on the runway 😂

yeah ok i take it all back he actually looks angelic now. im afraid he may have been cooking this whole time

train dog in a moral conundrum

“I’ll just get gas in the morning” is one of the worst decisions you can make as an adult

Shout out to the man who asked if I needed help getting my suitcase off the train yesterday and when I told him no thank you he started singing independent woman by destinys child