JoRam

@MurphyMyke @fesshole Love this 😂

@fesshole Four Kennels

Hubby and I largely communicate through our dog, who we both adore. "Baxter, don't you think it's time we cleaned the kitchen?" "Baxter, do you think I can get daddy to lick my fanny tonight?". Baxter's 10 years old these days, and when he's gone, our marriage will be fucked.

@CaravanMan80 You do realise that all those gym selfies end up as their profile pics on Tinder and Bumble unless they are fishermen and then they post pics with fish 🙄

@LizMarsden_Ling @curiousiguana Snap - That Dr Who episode is exactly what I thought of when I read this tweet 😂

@curiousiguana Holy shit it's glorious. I'm living in Finland and feeling pretty removed from it all, but this dystopian image of people queueing 35 goddamn hours to set one dead body is really going to stick with me. It's like that episode of Dr Who with the traffic jam

@karenjmcdonnell @LornaARose That is so sweet 🥰

@LornaARose This made me smile. I thought my folks just took things as they were.Then last year I'd a poem shortlisted in a category with a public vote. No superpac worked harder than my 86 year old dad - he even emailed old work colleagues.I was touched, amused & mortified in equal measure!

When you're from a family of non-writers and you're like I've got a poem coming out in a really good magazine and they're like ok and you're like no it's really great and they're like ok

@CaravanMan80 Did they give the dodgy fringe as well?

I entered the Hamilton Lottery for £10 tickets on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: todaytix.com/london/shows/2…

@CaravanMan80 You really need to get out more 🤷🏼‍♀️

@CaravanMan80 Three deliveries and I know which one I’m most excited about 😂

@Johnnyelbee Nah. Personally I can’t decide between the smell of the chalk when weightlifting or evo stick glue.

@CaravanMan80 @SLHouldsworth Take it Tinder hasn’t worked out then 😂

@CaravanMan80 @SandProjectLtd I look forward to it with baited breath. Having joined tinder a couple of days before you and received some matches I can assure you that you’ve not missed much 😕😂

@CaravanMan80 You have a face but still no beach body pic 😕 or is that restricted to people who match with you on tinder?

@CaravanMan80 Who’s Em? Should that be ‘Erm’ ? Or were you calling for help from a mystery woman we haven’t been introduced to yet?!

is wishing she'd gone to Comet or Curries or anywhere but #Johnlewis for her new hob. Worst customer service ever!!!

@DaveniesSchool A lovely photo. Can we see some action shots please? The years 5,7 and 8 photographers are putting you to shame!

@DaveniesSchool Nice photo but where are the rest of Year 5? More photos of the boys rather than the teachers please!!

@DaveniesSchool What a lovely photo. Could we have one of all the lunch tables today please?