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SAINT PAISIOS AND THE DRUG ADDICT
(from Met. Neophytos)
When I visited Saint Paisios, – I believe it was my third time [seeing him] – I spent the night at Koutloumousiou [Monastery on Mount Athos] which is a neighboring monastery to the cell of Saint Paisios [at Panagouda]. There were more people who spent the night [at the Monastery]. After the morning Divine Liturgy, which takes place every single day [at the Monastery], we would descend all together to see the great starets and elder of Mount Athos — Saint Paisios.
Among all these people, there was a Greek guy from Thessaloniki and we talked into the night. He talked to me about his life. Divorced parents, the guy had turned to drugs, he had never attended a Liturgy in his life. His first time attending a Liturgy came at the Monastery where we were staying. “I’ve heard so many things about this man, Elder Paisios,” he told me. “He is my last hope.” That’s what he told me. “Omiros” — which was my lay name back then — “[Saint Paisios] is my last hope — not just to break free from drugs, “but to find a relationship with this God, you [people] dare call ‘Father.’” “Our Father, Who art in Heaven.” Right? “I can’t call him Father,” [Dimitris told me]. “Everything went astray in my life. “Everything went wrong.”
I was listening him carefully [while he was talking] Saint Eumenios had taught me: “To the suffering, the agitated and the wronged ones, “don’t play the lawyer. “It’s better to keep silent, listen to them and pray inwardly for them.” So, I tried to apply it. I only told him one thing, “Listen, Dimitris. “Tomorrow morning, we’ll visit Saint Paisios together. “We’ll let the others enter and visit first. “Saint Paisios knows me a bit. I’ve visited him before. “When the time comes for me to see him, “I’ll ask Elder Paisios to spend ‘my time’ with you. I played “the large-hearted.” The kid was happy.
We attended the Liturgy in the morning. [Then], seven or eight [persons], mostly university students, we were [all] headed to the cell of Panagouda. Elder Paisios began to see each one of us separately, after he had first done “a collective psychotherapy,” or, better, “a psychograph,” at his outdoor archontariki (guest house). Afterwards, he asked “Does anyone wants to see me [privately]?” Is it ever possible to visit Saint Paisios and reply, “I don’t…?” You’d come up with the dumbest question just to get alone time with him. So, the first five did see him [privately].
“Dimitris, now it’s your turn,” I told him. In my mind, — [I was thinking with] my logic and not my nous — I thought to myself: “If I, Omiros, at twenty-three years-old, sympathized with him… “How much more would a saint like Saint Paisios?” As soon as he entered [Saint Paisios’ cell], he got out. When I saw him [exiting], I got furious. I walked in almost ready to pick a fight with Saint Paisios. “Geronda, I told him … — The kid came out joyful, nonetheless — But, [he had stayed inside] just for a second! “What did you say to him and he came out joyful just in one second?” [I asked Saint Paisios].
“He needs the [entire] Gospel of Luke…” (translator’s note: This phrase implies the difficulty of handling a case like Dimitris’). “Abraham begot Jacob… Isaac and then Jacob…” [Matthew 1:1].
[St. Paisios]: Come on now. You are letting your emotions get the better of you.
[His Eminence]: Did he say to you that his parents are divorced? He doesn’t call God a Father. He doesn’t say the “Our Father” prayer.
[St. Paisios]: Listen, my son. I told him just one word. Dimitris, I will be your father from now on. Thessaloniki is close [to Mt. Athos]. Every two months, you’ll come and visit me for two minutes. You’ll go to Thessaloniki to the priest at such and such place and confess. Only to this particular one! If you go to other priests, they’ll turn you into mincemeat. And I don’t want you to come back as a meatball. — That’s what Saint Paisios told him.— They’ll turn you into mincemeat and I don’t want you to come back a meatball. Every two months, we’ll see each other and we’ll work together. “I will be your father.”
Was it difficult for me to say to him, “[Dimitris], your Father is the Father of Christ?” —“Our Father, Who art in Heaven.”— He wouldn’t have been able to understand it. Whereas, since you have the experience of your own [biological] father, you are able to feel God as a Father too. [On the contrary], the experience of his own biological father was an anathema. Pure indifference. That’s why I told him, “Dimitris, I will be your father.” “Believe me. Even if I die, I’ll take you with me,” [Saint Paisios] told Dimitris. The kid left overjoyed. That’s why I saw him [so] joyful. Because he had found a father! And who [of all people]? Saint Paisios!
Right away, I cried and I told him, “Geronda, forgive me for getting angry at you. “I don’t understand how a spiritual father works.” He says, “Listen, my son…” He liked the fact that he saw me humbling myself, crying, accusing myself… “Listen, my son, I’ll tell you something “which you’ll need in the future.” He stayed with me for an hour. He was talking and talking and talking: jokes, counsels, many things. Every once in a while, I was thinking to myself: “He should [at least] have given [Dimitris] ten minutes out of the one hour we are spending together [right now].” He said, “Don’t think like that!” He could even “see” my thoughts!
[Saint Paisios]: Don’t think like that! Let me give an example for you to understand. This kid’s soul… We have some rocks here, we call Karoulia. It’s a barren land. Nothing can grow! Nothing can sprout! In order to plant something there, you would have to go cut rocks and make a dry stack, get fertile soil in small barrels, go up and down, up and down, fill the dry stack, then go to Karyes [the capital of Mount Athos] and get some tomato seeds to plant, then go find water and every two or three days [you need] to make sure to water it. You must then be careful: “Will the sea wind rise and scorch my tomatoes?” “When is the hour to stake them upright, before the Aegean’s wind uproots them?” “When should I spray them?”
“This kid’s soul is like a rock,” [Saint Paisios] told me. Nothing can take root in his soul right now. It takes years of work for even a small garden to grow. If just a small grass – even a single herb – [manages] to sprout in his soul, that’s excellent! Because he was wronged in this life and he will receive justice in the next. “While you…” — and he points at me — “Pa, pa, pa, pa.” What [fertile] soil is the one your father, your mother, your grandparents, … your heredity gave you. Even if someone spits [at your soil], his spit will bear fruit. Besides, at the edge of “the estate of your soul,” I see a fence, a huge reservoir. Pa, pa, pa. You must work really hard in your life to fill this huge reservoir of your soul. But if you do manage to fill it, along with the help of our prayers … Do you know how many people will quench their thirst? Unless you fill it, to first quench your own thirst, then for tens, hundreds, thousands more to quench their thirst, … Omiros, you won’t be saved! Work fifty miracles [or so] as well. You are obliged to work them because of the heredity [you inherited from your ancestors]. Whereas this kid [Dimitris], even if he commits fifty sins, but utters one: “Lord, I have sinned,” and, in this way, a herb manages to sprout in his barren rock, he will be saved!
[His Eminence turns to the woman who asked the question]: Thus, you understand what the answer is. Heredity, the work of our ancestors, our own passions and mistakes, our [personal] effort, the spiritual fathers we found, the husband you found, all play a crucial role. Our God won’t ask the same things from every one of us. If you went to church a bit before the Triodion begun, [on 11 February 2024, we listened to] the Gospel reading of the talents [Matthew 25:14-30]. This is what it says!
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