Jon Swagman

The Bradverb vs. The Bradjective

Saw a dude this morning outside Kwik Trip with a breakfast sandwich and a white Monster. He was pouring splashes of the Monster on his sandwich and then taking bites. This motherfucker was Sloppy Steaking his fucking breakfast sandwich with Monster.

@ChatCityTactics As someone who has never liked his game but respected the underlying numbers - I am extremely vexed by this guy. 3.5 more seasons!

The latest #AllForCITY chapter of What in the World is Wrong With Wallem:

@ChatCityTactics If Fallou is fit and not playing, that is a disaster.

This is less than ideal

@pickin_pines @interntcastaway @SaffronOlive Loot is a standard legal card.

@interntcastaway @SaffronOlive Seriously. That’s a nuts combo.

I know this is a leak rather than an official spoiler, but since this seems to be confusing people I'm like 99% sure that you can't just cast Ancestral Recall. My guess is that ability it tied to the creature being prepared. So play the creature, pay one to Ancestral and then you'll need to prepare again by exiling eight cards from your graveyard if you want to do it again. At least that's my guess.

@RoccSTL Not great in central midfield either.

@JonSwagman @AnalysisEvolved It’s been good in the easiest parts of the field to do it and bottom of the barrel in the hardest third where it actually matters most

According to @AnalysisEvolved g+ formula, there are THREE starters with above 0.00 goals added as a passer: Baumgartl (0.12) Orozco (0.10) Becher (0.04) Becher's assist get's him over the line, whereas the defense's solid work in build up gets Orozco & Timo their marks.

Major League Baseball is aired in the morning for Japan. So technically they eat breakfast with it being on television. Here’s their #openingday commercial. No hyperbole, when I say this, it might be greater than any US MLB commercial I’ve seen. Well done and worth the watch for any baseball fan.

@ChatCityTactics I think keeper numbers are even noisier than other players but… Not Great Bob!

MD5 in the books means exciting things - some MLS players have now hit the 450-minute threshold for our cards. Still a *small sample size*, but it's now a meaningful one. The first #AllForCITY player card of 2026 is... a bit of a doozy.

@MattBakerSTL I would not rate that a great attacking performance given the situation. Allowing Wallem to get inside certainly made him look better than the first 4 games but your just swapping ineffective WB for ineffective attacker. Prefer to see Joyner.

The interesting thing re: Célio vs NE is that he actually didn’t generate much offense himself. He took 2 shots, both were blocked, he was 0/5 on crosses, only won 2/7 duels and not much in the way of defensive/pressing success in creating turnovers. Singularly, it was a meh game for him at best. But what he enabled holistically in the @stlCITYsc attacking half, allowing Wallem to invert, widening the field in the attacking half and causing the Revs defense to spread out more than we’d been requiring w/Teuchert or even Sangbin in… that’s where Célio’s value was last night. It will be interesting to see what happens to Wallem if Teuchert returns to that role in 2 weeks or if Célio is able to keep hold for now in training and we see a similar look vs NYCFC on April 4. #AllForCITY

Taking this on the volley is outrageous! #AllForCITY

@ChatCityTactics At least there is a clear tactical change with Wallem tucking inside to allow Celio to do his thing. Maybe obvious but it’s nice to see.

The goal-scoring extraordinaire gets the start, which shall appease some fans. #AllForCITY #STLvNER

@ChatCityTactics Celio over Joyner 😿 This will solve our goal scoring issue surely.

@PuckPickz Cool bit

When Carolyn Kindle says “we are not failures” but the team is bottom of the Western Conference: Officially day 47 of asking CITY to announce a new DP striker on a permanent deal that can actually score goals. I will not rest until this is completed.

@soccer_usa_ I also overrate players that are good at dribbling.

Yunus Musah is better at soccer than seb Berhalter and Cristian roldan. There’s simply no way anyone with a brain can justify otherwise.

@NateSilver538 @RubenGallego Accidentally went to a Mexican restaurant in Rome. Awful.

@RubenGallego Have you ever had the misfortune of trying the Mexican food in Germany

How hot could it be? It’s Mexican food in New York City.

The rulebook defines the strike zone as a 3D volume. Any part of the ball crossing any part of that space is a strike. ABS uses a 2D plane at the plate’s midpoint. MLB tested the literal rulebook version first. The 3D zone produced inconsistent calls on breaking balls. Evaluating at the front edge turned slow curveballs that bounced in the dirt into called strikes. The midpoint plane was chosen because it tracked closest to how umpires have been calling the zone in practice for decades. The legitimate criticism here is that the rulebook was never updated to match what the system actually does. That’s a real process failure. But calling it a technical limitation implies they couldn’t get it right. They tested it, didn’t like what it produced and made a deliberate choice.

@cfpinatl @kerrc17 Is a Musah a good progresser? Would love to see the numbers.

@kerrc17 Chris sorry, assumed you'd replied to my other reply, Gio is one, Musah was top of mind however.

Feel like this is the consensus 'written in pen' starters. Who do you have for the rest?

@STLSoccerNews Well I expect they will wear their normal away jerseys then.

@JonSwagman Their primary is their new black kit for 2026.

It's no secret I'm not at all a fan of the gold kits for CITY, but choosing to wear them at LAFC, the one club in MLS that has Black and Gold as their colors, instead of just wearing CITY red will be monumentally dumb.