@beeinbostonn Ell then get ready to never eat anything ever again until you find a BLIND CHEF
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John Vukovich
80 posts
Moral of the story is if you don’t think I’m
Hot you have no business making my food because it isn’t made with love
coely coely coely@beeinbostonn
The line cook who thinks im hot made my food today and that shit tasted delicious bro
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Baby that’s an outcall! Make him pay up or shut up.
Tisya Mavuram@tmavuram
there is an epidemic of men in their 30s on dating apps who will invite women over to their house in lieu of a first date??? what’s going on here? the last time I remember this happening with any regularity was in college, the age at which you would expect this to happen?
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@endofanerajc The good Lord himself minimized your boobs when he made them those are TINY!
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pour one out for this dress which i will not be keeping because it’s kind of ugly but it does fabulous work with minimizing my boobs so i’m sad i’m not keeping it.
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@aragon1500 @billybrizzle420 Ey I'm in da frickin yoonion! That's how your dumbass sounds
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@billybrizzle420 Luckily I'm union so my insurance is more like an AMEX but yeah if your not in a union or a super cushy corporate job you're fucked when you go to the doctor
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My mom thinks health insurance is magic because she's been on my dads ppo her entire adult life
"Your in pain? Go to the doctor... you have insurance"
"Get your eyes checked... use that insurance"
"You should see a shrink, you do have insurance"
I still have to pay them mom.
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@turk1shprincess I am going to tell your landlord that you are queer and also that you have a fishtank and waterbed
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BITCH! All my haters become my waiters when I sit down at the table of success
s. ceren (FEMMEPATH)@turk1shprincess
Put this sign on my door at my new apartment bc I was soooo freaking excited to make friends but it’s been 3 days now and absolutely 0 people have messaged me
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@lockedwthpaper I mean you are free use so what's the problem
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i fucking folded like a wet paper bag, i drank one bottle of wine and let her stick things inside of me
no@lockedwthpaper
my evil sexpests ex who wont stop trying to fuck me even tho i keeps saying no invited me to this really pretty girls house to do 5-meo-dmt and i really wanna go but im scared shes actually gonna drug and rape me how do i tell her not to do that?
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@stephanicci Are you really listening or just waiting till they're done talking so you can tell your molestation story
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Everyone "hates small talk" but when I ask strangers if they were ever molested they dont like that so much either
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I spent enough years waiting on the weed man, now I can ride my bike to a spot with posted hours and get a nice zip for under $50 because they honor my bicycle benefits sticker.
CASINO CAVIAR@Yamscasino
People hate on dispensaries but I’m sorry man that shit is convenient and I am an adult.
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If my now boyfriend had approached me and apologized (twice!!) for it, I would have immediately disregarded him because I like men who are confident and not performative
Madeline Pendleton@JeanGreige
Since we’re on the subject, thought this might be helpful to share.
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@hotchipandlie_ I am not interested in sexually harassing you on X.com
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Got the job, got the apartment, 75% of the sewing studio is gone, still need to legally file for divorce but… ya girl is up!!!
One Girl ™ 🏁@hotchipandlie_
Me getting divorced and trying to find a new job and selling all of my sewing studio and needing to find a new apartment in a month
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The pro at this course is so friendly. Escorted me inside to check in. You just don’t get customer service like this anymore.
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@starryblueisis @hyperdiscogirl I wonder if your employer know about your Twitter account @dicksuckersinc
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@hyperdiscogirl I was sort of wondering if this guy’s employer knows about his X account, not because I think people should be fired for mean Xeets, but because they should be fired for being deeply and genuinely stupid.
x.com/wreckmyshit/st…
Calliope@wreckmyshit
@Romy_Holland Digging your hole deeper is wild af
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this might take the cake for the most evil tweet i have seen
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@jakebrodes I'd rather trust a professional psychiatrist's judgement than a random guy on the internet's. I am well aware of the possible downsides as well.
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Not trying to rag on OP but I see a lot of these types of posts and idk how to tell you guys this but you’re just a little high on speed for the first time. That’s it. Diminishing returns are soon to follow especially if you have ADHD or depression whatever.
Arann Reichhardt Swordsmith@ArannReichhardt
Just started taking ADHD medicine today and Jesus Christ, is this what a normal brain is like?? I'm fucking unstoppable, I may even get to fix my god damned back log! So, after like 2 straight hours of filing...
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@spooky_bees If I see someone genz in the workplace I will blow them away with the largest caliber handgun man has ever seen
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When I see these genZ videos saying millennials are monopolizing the job market I remember that no one from boomer to zoomer knows how fucking old we are.
Like yes Linda I still work because I’m 36 💀 I’m not holding onto this job to spite you, I need it to live you dork.
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@itsisasato Cover up! no one wanna see something that looks like balloons two weeks after a birthday party. Also, put on some makeup, you look sick.
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“Cover up! no one wanna see something that looks like balloons two weeks after a birthday party” “put on some makeup, you look sick”.
These were typical words my ex would say daily… I am glad I am confident enough to just be myself now, even if they’re saggy
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