justin herman

2:00 PM: 🇺🇸 U.S. judge ordered the DOJ to unredact Jeffrey Epstein files which name alleged co-conspirators. 5:00 PM: 🇺🇸 Trump REJECTED Court order to hand over redacted Epstein files. 8:00 PM: 🇺🇸 Trump began bombing Iran. The war restarted. You connect the dots.

How the fuck do we have $300 billion to rebuild Iran after we spent $80 billion bombing it, when we don’t “have the money” for pediatric cancer research?

We fucking told you so. We warned you all. Anyway...

Wow, if you read this you might get the impression that trump is getting ready to steal the next election! And you’d be right.

This should be a career-ending scandal. But life under Trump is so hellish, it's not even front-page news.

The Iranian navy, which has been destroyed eight times, has apparently closed the Strait of Hormuz again, because the United States, for the seventh time, won the war that wasn’t a war, so now the United States has to open the Strait of Hormuz that was already open before the not-war began. The not-war began because Iran had uranium that was totally, completely, beautifully obliterated, so they can’t build the nuclear bomb they weren’t building, which is why the United States had to start the not-war it definitely didn’t start. Now the United States, which has nuclear weapons, is threatening to use nuclear weapons to stop Iran from getting nuclear weapons, because nuclear weapons are far too dangerous for countries with nuclear weapons to allow other countries to have. If the United States saw the United States doing what the United States does in other countries, the United States would invade the United States to liberate the United States from the tyranny of the United States.

Being an American now is just waking up and being told how much more money the president and his billionaire buddies are stealing, then being expected to act like it’s a normal fucking day.

What if we ban reality TV contestants from running for office. They’re already basically criminals - they’ve made stupid mistakes and we caught them on camera doing it. You wanna get famous for a blackout drunk blowjob, great! But you can’t also be city comptroller.

@danbree MOAB

@JustinMHerman Where was that!?

It was either this or edit another crowdwork clip

Donald Trump ran for office for three reasons: 1) stay out of jail 2) exact revenge on his enemies 3) line his pockets Everything else he says is bullshit.

IT’S POPPING. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, IT’S ACTUALLY POPPING

Let me trace the timeline here because nobody's connecting it. Step 1: Scrape the entire internet. Every book, every article, every conversation, every piece of art, every forum post. Do it without asking. Do it without paying. Step 2: Train a model on all of it. Call it "artificial intelligence." Step 3: Go to BlackRock's Infrastructure Summit and announce: "We see a future where intelligence is a utility, like electricity or water, and people buy it from us on a meter." Step 3 is where you sell people's own knowledge back to them. On a meter. They took the collective output of human thought, compressed it into a model, and now they want to charge you by the token to access a version of what you and everyone you know already created. One Reddit user put it perfectly: "They stole all this data from us, the people, our life's work, creativity, art, by devouring the internet and blowing through all copyright laws. Now they want to sell it back to us in the form of a utility." Imagine if someone photocopied every book in the public library, burned the library down, and then opened a subscription service for the copies. That's the metered intelligence business model. And they're pitching it to infrastructure investors as though they invented water.

i know we're already way beyond the pale, but in any normal society, this should be pitchforks and torches type stuff

kim kardashian failing the bar exam so many times that she gives up on being a lawyer is making me realize the american bar association might just be one of like three remaining institutions in the us that won't just roll over and give the exorbitantly wealthy whatever they want

Not blocking traffic. Not inconveniencing others. Showing boobs. This is the type of activism I can appreciate

ULTIMA HORA 🆘La hija del senador republicano estadounidense Jay Block: 🆘 "Israel le paga dinero a mi padre y él difunde propaganda. Me avergüenzo mucho por esta situación. Creo que mi padre le ha vendido su alma al diablo. ¡Espero que su carrera termine!" #IsraelisGenocidalEntity

Search is full of ads and wrong answers. Every other email is an ad. Prime Video charges you and shows ads. Paramount? Ads. Peacock? YouTube? Hulu? Ads followed by more ads. Netflix full of ads. Meta and X, every other thing is an ad. Pinterest is nothing but ads. AI is in everything. AI finishes sentences incorrectly and won’t stop. AI reads your email and search history to target you with more ads. Every time you open an app or visit a site there’s an update making it worse. In a hurry? First, click here to agree to terms you don’t have time to read and must accept. You need an account to do that. Change your temporary password. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email and enter that code. Now use a passkey. Your password is too simple to remember. Change it. No, not like that. Now log on. Enter your 2FA code. Check your email for a code… Welcome back! We’ve updated our terms of service and privacy policy (you have none). Subscribe to the site. Subscribe to Netflix. Subscribe to toilet paper. Subscribe to these groceries. Pay a membership fee for the right to subscribe then tip your driver who delivers the subscriptions your membership lets you subscribe to. Time to work? We’ve got to update your laptop and will slow down everything you do until you agree to update. But first, click here to agree. Update installed — your laptop’s broken now. It doesn’t matter, since your boss just replaced you with AI. Go to your phone to complain on social media. Wait, your phone needs an update so we can add more AI. Click here. Oh sorry, your phone can’t handle this update. Now it’s useless. Go get the newest phone. Here’s a text from a friend, an email, a voice mail they left three days ago but you didn’t see until now because of sync problems with the cloud. It’s their GoFundMe. Their MLM. Their Patreon. Never mind, you didn’t respond to their text within 9 minutes and now you’re no longer friends. They blocked you. Make new friends. Download this app to find people in your area. In your neighborhood. On your street. Two doors down from you. Do you know this person yet, we think you’d get along. You need an account to use this app. That username is taken. Enter a password. Not that one, you used it on another site. You need to be connected to WiFi to download the app. Allow the app to connect to other devices on your network. Allow the app to access your contacts, know your precise location, store your credit card details. Oops, sorry, we got hacked now all that info is available on the web. There’s a class action suit. You can join. It’ll take a decade to get your $3.73 share of the ten billion settlement. We’ll send it via PayPal or deposit it to your bank, just tell us those details. Oh no, another hack. That info is circulating now, too. Here’s a spam call, a spam email, a spam text. Why are you angry? Why are you talking about getting rid of your phone? Why don’t you like AI, it lets us make all of this easier? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? This is progress. You’ll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind? Do you???

Just imagine how dark and satanic those files must be that they had to start an actual war just to distract people to bury them.

In case anyone isn’t aware, Trump is demanding Zambia to hand over its mineral rights by end of day tomorrow or the U.S. gov’t will cut off the country’s access to the AIDS medications that are literally keeping its citizens alive. Just thought y’all should know.