Peter Shaw

We were shocked by the mockery of the Last Supper during the opening ceremonies of the Paris Olympics. C Spire will be pulling our advertising from the Olympics.

@Kwik_Fit Chocolate orange @spodo_komodo1

Win a Ninja CREAMi and keep cool this summer🌞🍦 Our friends at Uniroyal are giving you the chance to win big this summer! All you have to do is like this post, tag a friend below and comment which flavour, however unusual, you would blend up first!😍 T&C's linked below!

@libsoftiktok At least shave for a first date. No man wants to kiss a stubbly woman 🤢😂

Former Bachelorette star Josh Seiter who’s transitioning to a woman blasts his dates as transphobic because his dates want him to pay but he says women shouldn’t pay for dates and he’s now a woman.

@Sandford_Police @CollinRugg “I know you’re getting tired of these headlines” are the lyrics at that moment. Perfect.

@CollinRugg Step back and shoulder shrug a few seconds in shows the cop was sick of his shit already

NEW: Man tased at a Crunch Fitness in Amarillo, Texas after he squared up to fight a police officer. FAFO. According to gym staff, 40-year-old David Jones had punched a member of the gym the day before. The gym revoked his membership however Jones returned the next day and refused to leave. When the officer arrived, Jones tried pushing the officer with the weights. When that didn’t work, he squared up and got tased. He was charged with criminal trespass and resisting arrest.

@afneil Moroccan Oil ad behind her 😂

Who knew self-styled Irish Satanists/Witches could be such bad losers?! Can’t she just cast a spell on Eurovision and come out the winner?

@afneil Job done. I’m away to bed

The popular vote has put Israel in the lead!! But not by enough to win, alas.

@theficouple My parents live 30 mins away. We decided to put our kids into childcare regardless because we wanted them to be socialised with other kids. We also didn’t want my parents to have to parent my kids. My parents love looking after their grandkids because they don’t do it every day

Are you planning to become a parent? Do you live within 40-60 minutes of your parents? If not, I encourage you to consider potentially relocating. You will save $20,000+ per year & have a better relationship with your parents.

@WhosRazor85 @FortniteStatus My son and I do!

While we work to resolve a matchmaking issue, we are temporarily disabling Splitscreen play. We’ll provide another update when we have more info and this issue is fixed.

@chris_bates1974 @sharrond62 Surely he should be aiming higher than England? 😜☘️

@sharrond62 I'm from Belfast. My son was born in Leicester, and has never even been to Northern Ireland. He's an aspiring rugby player, and I've always been of the opinion that he should play for England.

There has to be a genuine tie to the country you represent internationally or playing/competing for your country will just be a highest bidder criteria… thoughts? telegraph.co.uk/rugby-union/20…

@moveorperish Like the ideas. Thanks. I try to do some hangs daily. Another I do while hanging is a slow lateral movement, so head and feet don’t move but hips move side to side. No idea if it does any good but I always feel a bit of tension release!

Decompressing your Spine by hanging is easy and effective. Here are 6 exercises for a painfree spine & healthy shoulders. 🧵

@NormanBrennan Better lock up Carol singers in shopping centres each Christmas then! Or anyone humming a hymn they enjoyed in church that morning once they get beyond the gate 😂

Folks this👇is not a good look; some of us are trying hard to help policing get back public lost support respect & confidence & this👇does NOT help🤷‍♂️🙄🤦‍♂️👎

@productions86 @CreepyOrg They need to watch Home Alone

@CreepyOrg I can’t believe the guy keeps walking up those stairs

Meth house

@Kwik_Fit Poached eggs on toast

🚨IT'S COMPETITION TIME courtesy of our friends over at Uniroyal UK🚨 To be in with a chance to win a matching Black Smeg Retro Kettle and Toaster, all you have to do is like this post and comment your favourite toast combo🤩 Ends 30/01/2024. Full T&C's linked below.

@Kwik_Fit @Bridgestone 🎅

☃️It's Christmas EVE and the final day of #Kwikmas☃️ On the 24th day, you can win an Apple iPhone 15 Pro Max courtesy of @Bridgestone!! To enter, all you have to do is like this post and comment a '🎅' below. Full T&C's kwik-fit.com/about-us/terms…

@HeroDividend I take $50 over the dinner let alone $500k

Dinner with Jay-Z or $500,000?

@KonstantinKisin Shocky McShockface

Wow. Turns out Owen Jones is not a good guy. Shocking.

@MartinSLewis Need a cost per kg to transport baggage plus body weight.

Today's Twitter Poll: Should airlines be banned from charging separately for check-in luggage? Or is breaking it out a useful option so you can go cheaper hand luggage only. A King's Speech proposed ban on drip-pricing is meant to end lots of separate prices. While things like costs for printing a boarding card are outrageous, is there support for some flexibility on charge options, rather than a fixed all-in price. So let's focus on check in baggage

@HumansNoContext R

What is missing?

A little story for a wet Friday night. Near my house I found a wallet in the road. When opening it I found a bank card, some cash, a library and a youth club card. And also a front door key. The person who dropped it is 14 and could be locked out so I set out to find him….1/6

What horror scene lives totally rent-free in your head?