KalindaH

Turns out almost all of my problems’ root cause are a lack of enough moisture.

@theserfstv Since when can thumbs talk?

Alex Jones seems to be taking the news well

@SenTedCruz @James_Barragan So go back to work and find them and stop using your neo SS to deport legal immigrants

Due to the Democrat’s Shutdown, I’ve asked the Financial Clerk of the Senate to hold my salary. It’s not right for Members of Congress to be paid if the working men and women of DHS aren’t.

@TimSheehyMT Ohhh, it’s maaaaybe not too late to delete this?! Jk, you done fumbled this one, bro.

Capitol Police were attempting to remove an unhinged protestor from the Armed Services hearing. He was fighting back. I decided to help out and deescalate the situation. This gentleman came to the Capitol looking for a confrontation, and he got one. I hope he gets the help he needs without causing further violence.

@tedcruz @JohnCornyn Please explain why Ch*rlie K*rk got flags at half mast & 6 service members have not. Podcasters aren’t heroes. Texans are waiting for your backbone before you cash your PAC checks. Get your shit together.

@lawyer_memes Ew, boomer and a bully.

A junior said "Good morning" to me in the elevator. I checked my watch. It was 11:00 AM. I looked at him. "It's almost lunch," I said. "You're three hours late to the concept of morning." He tried to explain he'd been at his desk since 7. I interrupted and told him accuracy matters more than intent. I emailed his reviewer suggesting he take a CLE on time management. He apologized later. I didn't reply. I forwarded the apology to HR as proof of his inefficiency. Greetings are risky. He learned an important lesson. Never speak to a partner in the elevator. Unless spoken to.

@tedcruz I know it’s 85F in Texas, but post mass shooting in our state capital and a war in Iran, shouldn’t you be fleeing 2 crises at once?! If not, it’s also never to late to learn when to STFU. Texans hate you, even the nimrods who voted for you.

Were your friends Germans wearing Nazi tattoos like you?

Jun Aslan didn’t ask for this. But survival doesn’t wait for volunteers. Step Forward. Your EXODUS begins Early 2027.

It was fun talking to press this week about EXODUS. We're really excited for you all to see our new trailer tonight, so be sure to tune in for #TheGameAwards!

This is your call to rise. A new EXODUS trailer premieres live at @TheGameAwards. December 11. Don’t miss it. Synchronize your timepiece: thegameawards.com

@SpencerHakimian @GovPressOffice lol, ratio'ed hard

@GovPressOffice Wow

Gavin Newsom just posted this. Is this funny to you?

let’s be real the best invention of the last five years is not chatgpt. it’s nerds gummy clusters

if you were born in the 2000s you have no idea what is about to be unleashed

@AmericanAir app might be reminding me N/S (?!?) that I’m not going to Paris today, but I stopped being mad because Matthew at the AUS ticketing counter is an angel & so ARE EVERY SINGLE employee who helped me keep mom & daughter go to France trip alive!!! 36 hrs? Pish posh! 🤞❤️

@cbs BIG MISTAKE. YUGE! @StephenAtHome is the sole only reason I ever gave a shit about your podunk, frankly terrible BS network. Come through @HBO …cancel Bill Maher if you gotta, #teamcolbert

Thank you! THIS! Also, this is a low cost box from American Stationary. Proud to say mine & Jen’s have the same vibes. ♥️

Absolute admiration for President Zelenskyy. The guy has balls. He went into the Oval Office and stood up to Russia’s best negotiators.

This woman is not wrong. 😳👇

@HeatherLeatherr @FireflyAllie @octopuscaveman “BuT wHaTeVEr, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ 🤦🏼‍♀️

The fact that someone from The Onion had to have a meeting with the Sandy Hook families and go “I’m sorry for your loss but do you guys want to do something really funny” is the wildest part of the InfoWars purchase

I just found out that @tedcruz is at the Longhorn game, and now I just really need you all to vote for @ColinAllredTX —unless you want the rest of our teams to lose in his presence just like Texas women do.