Anthony Riordan

Banter is the Craic's annoying English cousin.

Make it 7 😭

When you’re doing 12 pubs of Christmas and the ginger rugby player shows up.

Taxpayers of Ireland must unite 🇮🇪

That fella is all preach and no prayer.

Labradoodle falls ill after ‘ingesting cocaine and cannabis’ in Wicklow Leave it to Wicklow people to invent a dog that can pick up his own bags

@adambloomie2 Bought the first used copy that got listed on Amazon(fantastic book by the way, thanks for writing it and actually releasing it)

@KerryComedian I’m so sorry. I only just saw this. Did you get a copy?

I’m very excited to say that my book is now on Amazon. Sorry for the slight delay. Thanks to all the comedians for giving me permission to quote and then dissect their brilliant material: @TheRealJackDee @ritarudner @HarryHill @EmoPhilips @KittyFlanagan18 ⁦@RealTimVine⁩

.@warhammer Big thank you to Wayne of the #WarhammerFest events team for his help today. He made our fest and saved us a load of time 🙂

They’ve finally come to a compromise with Puck fair. Next years goat is going to be a hologram.

AIB: “You thought our cards were contactless…”

There’s work, there’s sleep and there’s that time between the two of them when you’re too tired to do anything but sit and wait for it to start all over again. It’s that time right now.

@StevieBoylan Kevin Bacon was in Jayne Mansfield’s car with Robert Patrick who was in Lennon or McCartney with Kevin Hart(I confess I used the website as I saw neither of those films). 2 degrees, every time

@KerryComedian Kevin Hart was in Central Intelligence with The Rock. The Rock was in get shorty with Travolta - who was in Pulp Fiction with Chris walked who was in the deer hunter with De Niro who was in Sleepers…..with Bacon

Well son, that man there is the funniest man in the village. Before the internet he would sit in the pub surrounded by a rapt audience. And now dad? Now he spends his days searching out strange news stories on the journal to comment: “I thought this was a Waterford Whispers 😂”

A massive thank you to whoever in the CSO decided the options under relationship status should be married or single. That led to a fun conversation with Person 2 on the form.

Actually, I’m wrong. The most middle aged thing is enjoying the song better at half speed.

Most middle aged thing I did this week? Set YouTube playback to half speed so I could make out the lyrics in a rap song.

The Oscars are this Sunday. It’s also Mother’s Day. So after you give your mom a crap card and some cheap petrol station flowers to thank her for everything she’s done for you, sit down to watch a dozen or so successful people thank their mom for their support properly.

@TheDawnerator @EttengerRick @philosophytweet That’d be euthanasia but I don’t think the original comment was about preventing that.

@KerryComedian @EttengerRick @philosophytweet I understand you are referring to people who commit suicide due to depression and circumstance and you're not wrong HOWEVER there are also people who should be allowed to commit suicide. Some are in daily pain with no loved ones and nothing to live for.

What goals are worth spending your whole life on?

@TheDawnerator @EttengerRick @philosophytweet If you delay it long enough they’ll find a reason to live. Every day that person lives is another chance for them to find that. Suicide isn’t relief, it’s a mirage. To the one in pain it appears to be the only way to escape but the only true escape route is acceptance & honesty.

@EttengerRick @philosophytweet what is the purpose of suicide prevention if you only prolong a person's suffering and delay their relief? is it just so you can feel better about yourself?

Happy St. Fear’s day!