HK

My post feed is like a bonsai tree of shit posts. Just a perfectly manicured and blossoming timeline of schitzo ramblings, shit posts, cat pictures, and pretty women. It would take many folks generations of love and care to cultivate a timeline so perfect

How the 4 Iranian snipers were moving against the protesters

@TwinkBukowski I hope this is fake, but it's just too believable 😔 I relate to it all too much lol

Monday - Shane Gillis My rich girlfriend paid $474 for tickets so far away I had to watch the show on the mini-screen. I felt the need to apologize on the way out, explaining that Shane is the "Top Guy" in stand up right now, I thought it would be better. Shane has not evolved much since his breakout "Live in Austin" in 2021. He is still funny but his material covers the same tired old ground: Isn't my Dad such an adorably ignorant Trump-loving Boomer? Aren't 16 year olds hot? Dude. We need Trump back at those debates, dude. Black guys are so much better at sports. Come on, dude. He begged us not to record it but I did it anyway. How are you STILL talking about the 2020 Presidential Debates? Is your life as a rich and famous sellout not fertile ground to draw from? I foolishly expected an hour-long set. Instead he did 15 mild minutes and then replaced himself with fat black lesbian Sam Jay. Women should not do comedy, period, so my date and I took that set as an opportunity to go buy a $20 burrito and do more Ketamine. The Hollywood Bowl was beautiful, dreamy, but the seating arrangements were kind of retarded. It's set up so that you must negotiate with the disgruntled millennials in front of you every time you need to get up to pee. $500 tickets. My date was a 4'10 wasian wearing a way-too-short-skirt and stripper boots which made me extremely self conscious in the frat bro crowd. She wasn't tall enough to step over the chairs herself, I had to guide her. The crowd was extremely male and Zillennial. 25-42. 10-20% of them brought girlfriends. All White, everybody. Actually, throw in a few braindead cholos in Hurley hats, because it is still, at the end of the day, LA. Shane became drunker and funnier over the course of the night. He did another forgettable 15 and then introduced Ron White, Dan Soder, and Jim Jeffries. Not a weak lineup, but Jeffries stole the show. I remember seeing Jeffries on YouTube back in 2012, 2015, and filing him into the "somewhat racy normie comedian throttled by IQ"-bin. He might be the only guy in that bin. He's got a thick Australian accent and says 'Cunt' a lot. He stole the show by being the only performer there comfortable enough to fill the arena with his presence. I guess being a "normie comedian" means you get to do stadiums like this often. He was bold and engaging, like a magician. He led with a not-so-interesting bit about the Four Groups of People: hot women, hot men, ugly men, and ugly women. And how hot women have it so easy, if you’re “in group 1” and you’re having a hard time in life, the problem is YOU. I smirked at my date. As the bit went on though and inevitably arrived at the Transgender question it felt all-too-reminiscent of modern Chappelle: with the Ts and the Ls and the Bs and the Gs… Chappelle did so much tranny material from 2016 to 2024 he killed that subject for the entire genre. I met up with a fan of my blog after the show who said: “It felt like the kind of stuff I would have loved at age 21, covering up my mouth like ‘OH SHIT I CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THAT!!’ but now I’m so far deep it falls flat." I agreed. And you could hypothesize that we’ve grown out of stand up, but I won’t. I am hopeful. I’ve got an entire week of these shows ahead of me. I know I’ll find somebody, something fresh. Someone will remind me why I once fell so deeply in love with this dying genre. The highlight of my night was this: Shane returned on-stage to practice reading out his Roasts of Kevin Hart, off of cue cards, in preparation for the Roast of Kevin Hart. Either he was drunk enough at this point to stop giving a fuck, or he’s much better at writing one-liner takedowns than he is at stand up comedy. He struck me as a supremely talented high school bully. “Kevin’s so short they’re gonna have to lynch him from a Bonsai tree.” Hell yeah. After this joke the late-20s blonde in front of us leaned over to her date and said something, and they got up to go. Lol. Shane closed with a story (thank god) about being a 12 year old boy at football camp jacking off with his friends over this passed-out boomer’s corpse. It will definitely be in his next special, which I look forward to. He would have to release a few serious snoozers in a row to join Bill Burr in the “what the fuck how have you fallen so far”-tier of stand ups I can’t even motivate myself to look at any more. Shane's only 38, he’s got so much time. I think he should start pinning Chinese peptides, so he can be skinny, so he can write about that. Overall rating: 7/10 - I did not cum. The girl I brought, who is 21 and had never been to a stand up show in her life, left seeming unfazed, and expressed no interest in joining me for any other show this week. So tonight I'm returning to the bowl with a different Asian girl to see an old favorite: Louis CK.

I am a friend to all cats, even the little mean ones. They have their reasons

i was forced to apologize

me drunk as hell setting up to do my obama impression

@AvatarObi They literally think combat medics are like healers in MMOs... Absolute cattle

AsmonGold fans are a whole different breed of stupid

@Dovah_Spy Eh maybe, but I'd say it's pretty unlikely. Think about how many pro athletes cycle through a league like the NBA. I can't think of even one that's died while being an active player. And those are famous athletes. Compare that to girls who spend most of their time behind screens

It's only a matter of time until a large vtuber suddenly graduates and people later find out they died. Probably already happened.

@elonmusk @dotty_dotty_ the fuckin worst lmao

True

@Baxy82178191 @_Colaws @Baileymoon15 Fart hoes is crazy work 😂😭

@_Colaws @Baileymoon15 He’s the exact type of person to go to group therapy to trauma dump for rizz on the fart hoes

i worked with a guy whose favorite movie was the whale. hobo johnson was also his favorite artist. he told me to check him out. he got fired for hating women and being a creep.

@MAGACult2 What special is this from? Love me some Katt

“Cross eyed and the Director of the FBI? You can’t even be an eyewitness.”

@pelagiusreborn @dotty_dotty_ this guy is awesome

This is the update

@OskarVanBruce @NBinted It seems they're enslaved by their algo, like so many others with that ideology

@NBinted 3rd world aspirational whites are truly something else man. They truly hate themselves to the core.

Jelly is going out of her way to follow these people on her other account. Grxit was spreading rumors about a cosplayer in the community not even 24 hours ago. Asmongold doxed her coworker. In case you were wondering if she’s sorry.

@AceRengierof @NBinted It's ironic people call Pippa bad, but Pippa has grown a lot and seems to actually care about the people around her. But this is just so childish and petty. I thought Jelly was kinda endearing despite the edge but how she's handled this after the fact puts a bad taste in my mouth

@NBinted Look at her most recent upload on Youtube. Imagine being her friend/coworker and going out of your way to defend her, then she follows someone doxing/harassing your other friend, and likes comments calling your company bad. It's a shame, I really liked her.

@YourBudTevin We need more of these this shits hilarious 😭

Last year I taught my hood niggas Baldur’s Gate 3. This is what their first combat looked like 😭 The full YouTube video will be out tomorrow!

@TheGoodOneLA @dwunkdwunk @RimaEvenstar Lmao right?? Or that most people who play the game now are in their 30-40s and don't have enough time for grindy games 😂 Seriously the dumbest take that "politics killed wow"

@dwunkdwunk @RimaEvenstar Wtf are you talking about? Politics is what's killing wow? Not the predatory systems? Not microtransactions? Not the lackluster content? Not the content draughts?

For context this is what happened: >Minecraft releases a DLC. >Jelly quote-retweets it, saying she was advised by lawyers not to comment. >Jelly tweets that politics shouldn’t be in games. >Jelly addresses it on stream, said she initially reacted without enough research, then looked it up and realized it was an optional Minecraft Education DLC; after seeing the topics, she called it mostly “history” and a “room temp take,” citing women’s suffrage, India’s independence, anti-apartheid, and equal education for girls, saying it wasn’t “evil or horrible.” She still said she wouldn’t play it (or have her kids play it) and that “it could be worse,” criticized people rushing to fight before checking facts, and noted she’s not American (so she didn’t know the Black History Month timing/context) (Link below) >Jelly posts a 100k thank-you tweet and jokes about engagement bait. >The tweet gradually blows up, including being reposted to r/vtuberdrama and elsewhere, eventually hitting 4M+ views. Twitter does what Twitter does: everyone fights. >Tweets get deleted. >Phase Connect (her agency) releases a statement 2 days later. >we are now here

@swyxy4484 @dotty_dotty_ China even has better streamers we're so cooked

她能吃直播这碗饭，一点都不眼馋...... 技术型主播， 这也太准了

@XJosh @dotty_dotty_ this definitely has happened to him

>invite yourself to the jeff's diddy blud party >he frantically forwards it to ghislaine and asks her to deal with it >she tells him the parties are gone forever lol lmao

@shitposts_mp4 @dotty_dotty_