Lisa Duffy

So true, so true!

One of the biggest takeaways I got from my divorce? Once I stopped blaming him, I could heal. youtube.com/shorts/dl7a8dm… #HealingJourney #divorce #recoveryexpert

@heavnsweets But we compliment each other.

Men date for sex. Women date for love. We are not the same.

Absolutely heartbreaking... Another excellent study on the effects of divorce on children is Dr. Judith Wallerstein's "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce." I wish more people would pay attention to these things. I wish more people would be brave enough to honor their commitment to marriage.

Sociologists Paul Amato and Alan Booth spent decades studying divorce, and their finding should stop us cold: only about a third of divorces end high-conflict marriages. The rest dissolve marriages without abuse, without betrayal, without serious conflict, and their research found it is precisely the children of those divorces who fare worst, because the children of a low-conflict home lose their entire world without ever seeing a reason. The parents call it growth. The children experience it as an earthquake with no fault line. I write about this outcome at the link in my profile.

@ElaineSkyler1 Good thought... but, perhaps it's nature's way of reminding us that the commitment to marriage requires bravery. Here's a few fav passages from "Brave New Family," GK Chesterton:

We introduced divorce to leave marriages that weren't working. In doing so, we weakened the permanence of marriage. Now, many avoid marriage because it no longer feels permanent. The irony. Perhaps it's nature's way of reminding us that nothing is perfect. ~Bad Influence 🦅

Annulment process arduous but often brings great healing & self-knowledge. Reform a hot issue at October's #synod patheos.com/Topics/2014-Re…

@benshapiro Who the heck is Jennifer Welch and how did she get a microphone?

I agree with Jennifer Welch: she definitely shouldn't have home schooled her kids, mainly because trapping a child for hours in a room with Jennifer Welch is a form of torture prohibited under the Eighth Amendment and the Geneva Conventions

Seven years after my divorce, I met the man I've now been married to for 26 years. Doctors said I'd never have kids. We have three. Healing is possible. It starts with acceptance. youtu.be/JgCRHdVxHC4

The harder part? Accepting the role I played. I certainly wasn't a perfect spouse. He wasn't 100% to blame. As long as I stayed the victim, I would never heal. Never move forward. Never change.

One of the questions I get asked the most is: Why is healing from divorce so hard? My experience: I had 3 miscarriages & was told I'd never have children. Then my husband walked out. I was 30, childless, divorced — and Catholic. Here's the first thing I had to learn how to do: 🧵

You've struck a nerve here, Lisa, congrats. Based on replies, this is obviously an issue that deserves more attention. I love the fact that you're a champion for men in our society. Men should be respected and valued, and what society has done to tear them down is a travesty. I also understand why men are favorable to prenups. There are a lot of ruthless women out there who have financially devastated their spouses and helped to create a vicious culture of divorce. It's shameful. But to your question, I don't believe that excuses the fact that, a prenup, in and of itself, is an instrument of distrust and doubt, which undermines two pillars of a healthy marriage; trust and confidence. My bottom line is this: If a couple tries to build a life of commitment and trust with a legal caveat that states "I don't trust you," then... wouldn't they be setting themselves up for failure?

What do you guys think about prenups? Working on a new article and would like a few different perspectives!

@RealPaulElam I'm sorry you've been burned so badly, Paul. I wish you more joy in life.

@LisaDuffyAuthor Nope. When people show me what they believe, I believe them. You've shown me, and I've learned in life not to invest in getting you to show me again. And it's not a rabbit hole. It's the 30,000 foot view.

Oh PULEASE! Divorce almost always boils down to "that's mine, this is yours," often with onerous, disastrous results. People who marry without a grounded respect for that fact are the ones not ready for a mature pair-bond. If pragmatism interferes with love, it's not love.

@SightUnseen555 @LisaBritton It was an example and stated so. Example means that it’s a plausible possibility that could happen to anyone.

@LisaDuffyAuthor @LisaBritton That's basically what you said. It's good when it's assets the wife already owns that need to be protected, but if the husband has assets that he wants to say are his before the marriage then he's not "ready for marriage." Those are your words.

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it and I understand your point, but just because society has moved away from marriage as a strictly Catholic institution doesn’t mean principles should be ignored. My bottom line is that if a prenuptial agreement is part of “marriage prep” then the couple should rethink their relationship. The prenup should not be insurance, the commitment to each other should.

@LisaDuffyAuthor @RealPaulElam I agree with you in principle here Lisa, but you are overlooking the fact that the culture no longer has a traditionally Catholic understanding of marriage. If the secular culture says "you can divorce for any reason, good or bad" then protecting assets would seem prudent.

@RealPaulElam Again, your implication is quite a stretch. I used an example and it could have been male or female in that explanation. Simply because I chose a female, you’ve burrowed down a rabbit hole created by you alone. You are incorrect in your assessment.

I agree with the conclusion. No legal marriage is required for the covenant. It's not scriptural, or even recognized by the CCC. Respectfully, though, you're undermining your own point spectacularly. Women file for the vast majority of divorce, so just who do you imagine are the ones failing at commitment? But the big tell was that you justify prenups as prep for divorce, even as a Catholic, with the proviso that it protects women, not men. I suppose we all have exceptions to our alleged beliefs. But it's those exceptions that pretty much define what we really believe underneath the religious posturing.

@RealPaulElam @LisaBritton The insurance policy in marriage is the commitment to a permanent and exclusive union.

@LisaDuffyAuthor @LisaBritton You're conflating love and commitment with an insurance policy.

@SightUnseen555 @LisaBritton Well, that’s a leap.

@LisaDuffyAuthor @LisaBritton Oh, so they're good only when they benefit the woman's interests? Wild.