Ntokozo

15.1K posts

Ntokozo

Ntokozo

@LisileM

My colleagues seem to think I’m funny, I’m worried about them • Part time drug pusher💉💊🩺

Katılım Temmuz 2012
1.9K Takip Edilen1.5K Takipçiler
Ntokozo
Ntokozo@LisileM·
@Trevor_sidogi @SphesihleMninzi Because they start driving after work. They can’t do it the next day so that they can maximize the time spent at home
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Artist TREVOR🇿🇦
Artist TREVOR🇿🇦@Trevor_sidogi·
People who work in Gauteng province why do you like to drive at night everytime when you go home in the rural areas during holidays 🥺?
Artist TREVOR🇿🇦 tweet media
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Esethu Hasane
Esethu Hasane@lEsethuHasane·
Remember this moment when USA has elections and an idiot here on Twitter asks why we have interest in them. We are about to pay R3,00 more for petrol because of an Orange Orangutan Americans decided to bless the entire world with.
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HER
HER@Myhardy_Mofo·
Found a long ass queue at the Shell garage by my house, a taxi drive let me cut in the line and everyone started hooting. He jumped out and said “Ngumfazi wam manje ngenzenjani??” 🤣🤣🤣🤍
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Ntokozo
Ntokozo@LisileM·
@heysantos_83 You were not cheated on, you were played. You were a piece on her chess board
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Santorini 🚶🏾‍♂️🖤
I’m supposed to take this to my grave but..😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 during my relationship with this girl, one time she called me and said she feels like doing something adventurous so we should go on a cake date. I asked myself what’s adventurous about going on a cake date but I was like okayy cool no yawa. So by close of work, she came to pick me up from the office and we headed straight to the bakery. Before we got there she said “Santo just play along” I was like what are you talking about and she said, “Santorini just play along”. I kept my cool and followed her. When we got to the counter, she told the lady we are about to get married and we would like to order a wedding cake but first, we would like to try their flavors... my jaw just dropped😂😂 I was about to deny it and she gave me some eye eerrhh😂. Luckily, the lady didn’t notice, so we sat down and were served various cakes in different flavors. After tasting them, my girlfriend showered the baker with praise, telling her it was the best cake she had ever eaten. She even told the baker that we would return with our own custom design. The baker was thrilled because my partner told her our budget for the cake was N900k. That was how we managed to have a "cake date" without paying a cent. The cake was actually quite good; however, a week after that date, she began acting strange. She rarely answered my calls and was very slow to reply to my messages. Whenever I asked to see her, she offered flimsy excuses. I was deeply hurt, and every time I complained, she just came up with more excuses. One day, while I was walking through town, I spotted the baker. I tried to hide, but she saw me and approached. She asked if we had enjoyed the wedding cake and said she hoped that what they delivered was exactly what we had ordered. I was completely confused because I had no idea what she was talking about. She then added that my "wife" had come in with her brother a week prior to show them the design they wanted, and that someone had picked it up that Saturday. I played along and said it was really nice and that everyone...
Santorini 🚶🏾‍♂️🖤 tweet mediaSantorini 🚶🏾‍♂️🖤 tweet mediaSantorini 🚶🏾‍♂️🖤 tweet media
𝓞𝓶𝓪 🎀@justmercy__

How did you find out your partner was cheating on you?

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Chidimma
Chidimma@The_Chidimma·
She asked her suburban daughters to “square up” and they all know what it means because they learned it at school😂😂 These girls are so beautiful like their mom, the skin, the hair! Black is gorgeous!
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Ntokozo
Ntokozo@LisileM·
@VITO_G_Wagon I somehow doubt he’s a Dr. Anyone can pose with a stethoscope. Gynecologists (it saod so on another post) hardly even use stethoscopes, they never have one on them & he’d be too busy to cheat with that many women
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Minister of Electricity 🇿🇦
Guys, A fundamental question: The guy is a medical doctor, and the wife is ? Any formal education, Degree or Diploma? I once dated someone with matric only, the insecurities were crazy, she couldn’t understand when my female colleagues call and ask for work related assistance outside working hours…. Mind you, it was not only female colleagues but also male would call and ask for assistance. Maybe dating is fine, but you can’t marry someone with so much academic intelligence gap, it will be a disaster.
Minister of Electricity 🇿🇦 tweet media
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Artist TREVOR🇿🇦
Artist TREVOR🇿🇦@Trevor_sidogi·
Thank you Elon i am no longer carry water by a wheelbarrow... For me this in an achivement 🙌🏽🎉 Leave a heart if you are inspired♥️
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Village Guluva
Village Guluva@VillageGuluva·
So the 😻 get cleansed as well? 🤭
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Bebé
Bebé@NoozBebe_·
Posted an "evil East Rand aunt" skit on Facebook where all my evil aunts are. Waiting for my mom to ask me to take it down 💅
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Ntokozo
Ntokozo@LisileM·
@Sizalabadzala 😂😂😂😂 wuuu ngaze ngahleka. After men, fear their families
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LaMahlanya🌵
LaMahlanya🌵@Sizalabadzala·
Angisasho. Mjita bika’d me to his family, incl a few elders. The family was sooo happy to meet me kani abasho kutsi in a few months they’re expecting a new family member (mjita’s firstborn). Yes they were still in a relationship. KaDlamini kukhohlakele ngisho inja yakhona.
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🇿🇦TheGreatDlamini🇿🇦
I mistakenly sent an extra perfume to one of my clients last week. Fortunately for me, I have honest loyalty clients 😁🙌🏽 He texted me and told me yesterday, what a King 🙌🏽 @OlfctryScntsZA
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The Brand KritiK
The Brand KritiK@future1_the·
@Kgadi_yaMoloto I will never label my partner invasive just because they have accessed my phone without my permission, why does my wife need my permission to access my phone?
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kgadi♠️
kgadi♠️@Kgadi_yaMoloto·
King Solomons side of the story.😭🫣😩
kgadi♠️ tweet mediakgadi♠️ tweet mediakgadi♠️ tweet mediakgadi♠️ tweet media
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Yusuf Abramjee
Yusuf Abramjee@Abramjee·
South Africa is set to pilot drive-thru police stations in a bid to improve service delivery and reduce long queues at stations. The initiative, expected to roll out in major metros, will allow members of the public to report crimes, submit affidavits, certify documents and pay fines, without leaving their vehicles. Officials say the move is aimed at “modernising policing” and easing pressure on frontline officers. A SAPS insider says if successful, the model could be expanded nationwide. More details expected soon. #SouthAfrica #SAPS
Yusuf Abramjee tweet media
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ChrisExcel
ChrisExcel@ChrisExcel102·
National Elections Local Elections
ChrisExcel tweet mediaChrisExcel tweet media
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STAR 🧚‍♀️🎀💫
STAR 🧚‍♀️🎀💫@star_child_09·
What a dangerous week to be dating the big 3 😭😹😹 ( Tsonga, Venda, and Pedi)
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Yusuf Abramjee
Yusuf Abramjee@Abramjee·
Nigerian High Commission: Advisory.
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Hazel Appleyard
Hazel Appleyard@HazelAppleyard·
This kid has absolutely zero chance.
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