Lord William Daft

Back on terra firma. Time for a trip to The Club tomorrow with the old soak Canon Coch who is on day release from the Corrective Institute of Curmudgeonly Pedants.

I say. Sorry about the telegraph silence, but after a few scrapes I thought it better to keep a low profile. Blast those cads at ‘tweeter’, who have forced my hand by threatening to close this broadcast down, so I thought I better pipe up.

@SirThumperDung Given the dissolute life you have led, it comes as no surprise that the clerks have mislaid the documents. Uncork your favourite laudanum and calm down.

How can you trust a company like @lv to insure your life if they can’t even handle basic paperwork.

Why doesn’t @canoncoch travel first class on the steam train? Is it because the diocese no longer trust him with the collection plate? twitter.com/neilcoxon/stat…

Looks like @SirThumperDung is on the soup again. He is persistently sending me long garbled phonograph recordings of him mumbling and passing wind.

@SirThumperDung @harrow_council I see you've had an evening with your brethren after being thrown out of the gambling dens and whore houses of north London.

@sirthumperdung Ah the curmudgeon has been released from his lair to rant once more.

@sirthumperdung Does one only surface from hibernation to drip venom on your minions? Or are there brief moments when you smile sweetly?

@sirthumperdung After your long sojourn away, you have surfaced again armed with your poison quill.

@sirthumperdung This is the what happens when we give the women the vote and the chance to patronise labourers. They get carried away.

Oh do be quiet with your bleating @sirthumperdung. I'm sure Count Pessina couldn't give a damn if you take your laudanum orders elsewhere.

Good day. It's been a while but I must introduce you to Sir Benjamin Lagertin williamdaft.co.uk/2014/06/sir-be…

I see @Fitzberque has ensnared a maiden. "Is that an Enfield in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"

I always knew that being touched by the Earl was good for one's health. telegraph.co.uk/health/healthn…

@sirthumperdung Only the finest Claret for me you cad. I would only compromise if @countessclog ever spared any of her plonk.

@sirthumperdung My God. What brought you out from the desert Sir? Was their a flagon of gin held in front of your nose?

@BlaenavonWHC Mr Davies (otherwise known as @Fitzberque) is looking most dapper. But where is ones trusty Enfield?

@BenLeighton1 There is no cooing from me. Only The Lord knows how Lady Emma has survived 9 years of your dissolute ways

@BenLeighton1 Your low profile has meant the populace feel safe to venture out again without fear of being met by your uncouth behaviour

A politically charged evening has ended with the revolutionary and the naturist missing their locomotive