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Boomer

@LowVelocity

Stop. Push it.

Katılım Mart 2008
96 Takip Edilen92 Takipçiler
Boomer retweetledi
Boots, 'with the fur'
Boots, 'with the fur'@afraidofwasps·
(Throwing up white foam) My foam !
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Mark
Mark@AgingRanchHand·
Me *frantically walking around to every other tribe member on Survivor*: If you vote me out tonight I'm going to kill you in real life. Don't make me do this. Please don't make me do this.
English
14
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black pepper cracker
black pepper cracker@__angoose·
Pioneering the “Irish Hello” where I turn up unannounced to a friend’s location
English
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fishious
fishious@fishquichee·
(Making small talk) who are you
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cumweiser
cumweiser@cumweiser·
fantasy football punishment: call in an amber alert on your own car and then drive around until you get pulled over
English
31
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wint
wint@dril·
thanks to AI our slow and humiliating national suicide will be punctuated by visual media that is so good even a dog could jack off to it
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John Attridge
John Attridge@John_Attridge·
My favourite productivity hack is to eat your lunch as soon as you get to work. Get it out of the way
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Boomer
Boomer@LowVelocity·
Boomer tweet media
ZXX
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Alex Horne
Alex Horne@AlexHorne·
🎂
QME
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SimplyUtd
SimplyUtd@SimplyUtd·
🚨 🎥 This Manchester United vs Bayern Munchen final will forever be the greatest Final in football history 🔴
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wicked wigger of the west
wicked wigger of the west@Nick_Cerveza·
Sensei: you lack discipline. You jack off without purpose Me: I jack off to bust, old man Sensei: (wry smile) heh. You have much to learn..
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Sridhar Ramesh
Sridhar Ramesh@RadishHarmers·
Each war is justified by noting how it won't be like the last one.
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chad
chad@chasedbywasps·
walking up to a stranger and saying "all is forgiven" then walking away
English
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brendle
brendle@brendlewhat·
lacan once said 'the very foundation of interhuman discourse is misunderstanding.' what the hell is that supposed to mean you french fag
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Errai
Errai@errai·
(after charging a punch for 34 years) watch this (I miss)
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Millie
Millie@bumpasshelll·
Old lady in front of me in line at coffee shop had a perfectly normal exchange with the barista and then turned around, told me I had beautiful hair and asked me if I wanted to dance with her. When I pointed out that there was no music playing she started scatting
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𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚
𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚@beyoncegarden·
this is an absolute masterpiece i’m in tears😭
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microplastics rectifier
microplastics rectifier@facetedcarapace·
In 8th grade I refused to do the pledge of allegiance at school in protest of the War in Iraq and the shop teacher got so mad that he fully left work and they had to get a substitute teacher the rest of the day.
English
142
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dinosaur
dinosaur@dinosaurs1969·
i wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like hey you cant do that anymore
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Boomer retweetledi
rune sword
rune sword@runesword1·
hahaha, oh ambassador, your wit and charm is only matched by your diplomatic capabilities. would you excuse me for a moment? (whispering to my guard) negotiations have gone sour. get ready to kill everyone in the room right now
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