Colorado Rockies

TAke a look, y’all: IMG__4346.jpeg

While our GM was setting the lineup for our Session 1 game against the San Francisco Giants we received this fan letter in the mail ☺️ We loved it so much we just had to share it!

The Fake Rockies are very happy to announce the signing of Season 2 All-Star and Paper Cup Champion, the end to our beginning, the one, the only, Henrik Omega!

You’re still hungry you say? Adding one All-Star player to the team just isn’t enough, you want a champion as well? Well fret no more...

The Rockies are extremely happy to announce the signing of Free Agent All-Star Juan Diego De Las Rosas!

With the 12th pick in the draft, the Rockies have selected the best Catcher/Doctor combo in MLR, Dr. Buttfart McPoopus, Esq.!

McScrotington grounds out, but we salvage a run to make it a 3-1 game before heading to the top of the 2nd where Evans makes quick work of the Toronto hitters and sends them down in order. And so we head to the bottom of the second with DH Ralph Smith up first.

Jumbo D and Jesse Kilgannon are sent down, but with 2 outs and bases loaded @RonnieVoss_C stays ice cool at the plate, walks, and scores us a run! 3-1 game now with the bases still loaded, as future heir to the McScrotington empire @DickMcScrots steps up to the plate.

While we wait for the next pitch we have time to introduce two new Rockies! Please welcome CF Joshua ‘Junior’ Roth and RF Gottlieb Giannopoulos! Both players will initially be placed on the MiLR Hudson Valley Renegades until further notice.

Jablome singles into left field and we have loaded the bases with no outs! Stepping up to the plate to drive our boys home, the man the ladies lovingly refer to as “The Tripod”, Big Daddy D himself: Jumbo Dick!

We’re off to a good start as @FakeKuntz doubles and @AlphaJack26 takes an eleven-pitch walk. Coming up with a chance to tie the game with 2 men on and no outs, the man with the plan, whose name is a question we can only answer a resounding “yes!” to, it’s Heywood Jablome!

The Torontonians (Torontans?) appear to have quickly acclimatized to the Coors altitude and have taken a 3-0 lead as we head to the bottom of the 1st. Leading off for the Rockies, High Times Magazine Athlete of the Year, Mr. Rusty Kuntz @FakeKuntz

And here is your 🏔’s lineup against @RealFakeBJs :

The sun is shining, the time is 4.20, and #1 pick Garrett Evans is ready to take the mound in this Session 3 showdown against our blue winged visitors from the north. Welcome to Coors Field, and welcome to the Toronto Blue Jays. Let’s play ball!

Here's our lineup for game 2 vs the Expos!

ICYMI: the Colorado Rockies defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks in game 1, 7-6

Our apologies for not giving updates on the last game! Our social media staff came down with ebola!