ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕧𝕪 𝕄𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕝 𝕀𝕋 𝔾𝕦𝕪

To achieve order from network chaos... let there be standards, procedures, service agreements and metrics. -MacHertz 2020

@AccidentalCISO Win-win 😁

This will either be the best career day presentation ever, or my kids' school will never ask me to come back again.

@AccidentalCISO And for the love of all things holy, don’t use AI summaries. 😁

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but executives aren’t going to read more than 3 sentences of that email you’re writing. Get to the point.

I liked this one

@gabsmashh Interesting correlation: same for women.

the fastest way to a man's heart is through the fifth left intercostal space at the midclavicular line

Ever been too busy head banging to music for your FaceID to work? #cyberthings

@NetworkChuck God is all knowing. God is your conscience. God is you. We were made in the image of god. Whether god is real is a moot point… we all act out the reality.

A thought I had during prayer this morning (in light of me obsessing over Claude Code like everyone else is) God has my full context. I don't have to context engineer God or tell Him to "Ultrathink".

anyway, here she is.

A phone call is worth a 1000 messages. #clarity #humancontact #messagesmiss70%

@H3KTlC Yup, those fury bastards can do alot of damage. Hope you’re back online soon!

ive had fiber for exactly two weeks. last night i was taken offline by a squirrel

@d0rkph0enix Nah, take solace that you’re killing it and that: the people who know you, know you’ve earned it and think you’re a wonderful person. Hit the disengage from arseholes button and be well. 🤟🍻

Should I really upset them and post how much money I made last year? It might actually break the bot farms, all the tiny hurt faux masculine rage. 😂

@H3KTlC Yikes. Maybe some melatonin could help? 60% of the time, it works every time. That or a solid compliance report. ZZZZzzzz.

insomnia doing what it does best ive been awake for 36 hours excuse my language but will someone please knock me the fuck out

@cyb3rops Also; Noise, no noise, noise, no noise (repeat) can be code.

Your noise is someone else’s signal. No noise can be a signal. More noise than usual is a signal. Less noise than usual is a signal. Security lives in deviation, not in silence.

@H3KTlC Well I feel seen. 😎

cybersecurity is rly just ‘i solved it’ 2 hours later: no you didnt

@H3KTlC I was already impressed… but damn. Which reminds me… I hate running. 😁

its 10am and ive ran 3 miles, had 2 meetings, deadlifted my weight, and learned all the ways to fix crc errors. please form a line to be impressed.

LinkedIn; stop blowing smoke up my arse. “Top Analyst Applicant” - if I want your advice… well actually I don’t. Just stop it.

@TracketPacer I have this tattooed just below my tan line. 🤷‍♂️

@H3KTlC ROFL whilst MFA’ing into my VPN to check SIEM and XDR for IOCs and CVEs. You know.. the usual.

not to be dramatic on a monday morning but the acronym situation in infosec is spiraling

Microsoft Copilot waiting to pounce and offer you a subscription:

@cyber_razz Fancy sniffer right there!