Mama Needs A Coke

Eating in my 40s is confusing: I’m young enough that I still need to take care of my body, but old enough that I don’t want to risk having a salad as my last meal.

When you are a super hero you need a secret identity and that secret identity is usually selling insurance. —Ryan, 7

@campfireburning Right? So clingy. Smh.

The high today is 88 degrees, but I’m wearing jeans and a hoodie. It’s September first. We can’t keep catering to you forever, Summer, geez.

@campfireburning Oh I hear you! Mine started back and within three days I had a call from the nurse to get one of them (fever). 🤦🏻‍♀️ Best of luck!!

If you don’t believe in the mental load you aren’t carrying it. Now go pick some up—that shit is heavy.

If a guy uses a stud finder he’s required to point it at himself and make beeping noises. It’s in the Man-ual.

"I'll see you later today" I whisper, as I pack a sandwich in my kid's lunchbox.

@chukka60 Maybe! 😂

@MamaNeedsACoke What’s next for him, eating dinner off the bird table in the backyard?

Saw my youngest moving his arms up and down really fast and when I asked what he was doing he casually replied, ‘oh, just trying to fly like a bird,’ and I really admire his optimism.

My 7 month old likes avocado so I guess she’ll never own a home

If I could have just a moment of your time I’d love to give you some information about how your small, one time donation can make a difference in the fight against the fight against carbs.

The audacity of children to burst from your body like the kool aid man and then tell you that you’re stinky while they’re covered in dirt and peanut butter

him: what video do you keep watching, that song has been playing for the last five minutes me, watching a lady pour buttery noodles into a vat of cream sauce on repeat: um, it’s porn

Told my kids that either they stop fighting or at least make it more entertaining, so I'd say summer vacation is going great

6: why does J have two mommies? Me: some kids have two mommies, some have two daddies, some have a mommy and a daddy… all families look diff- 6: I wish I had two mommies My husband:

Me: *is a strong, capable professional and father* Also me: *cries during every episode of Bluey*

[an hour into bedtime] Me: it’s really late… no more talking! 6: ok *starts singing*

just a girl who loves sunsets, music, and making you smile