Mark England

If you earned $5,000 per hour every day since the birth of Christ, you still wouldn't be as rich as Elon Musk.

Hannah Spencer walking into Parliament tomorrow:

Unfortunately the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services You can rent it for $2.99 though

🚨 UK EMBASSY STAFF TOLD TO LEAVE GORTON & DENTON 🚨

People who say their wedding day was the best day ever, have clearly never had two kit kats fall out of a vending machine. 😂

@DVLAgovuk I need to DM you with a V5 query, can you send me a link please as the message button at the top of your page isn't working for me. Thank you.

Teach YOUR KID the Labour Way of Work and Economics. Pay them £10 to clean the dishes. Then take £7 off them and give it to the kid next door for doing sod all.

🚨 My god this is genius! @CrewkerneGaz take a bow… 😂👏👏

Do remember this Labour government that wants us all to have Digital ID, that they promise will be secure, just had its entire budget leaked before they announced it. 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤡

"I'm looking for volunteers to do a 12,000ft jump from a chopper". "No thanks, I've got a fear of heights". "You'll be tightly strapped to Kelly Brook". "Oh, ok then..." #ImACeleb #KellyBrook #Jungle #Chopper

@LeonardBriscoe3 Your point being?

A message from the heart to those of you cheering Trump on in his mission to destroy our treasured BBC; Imagine Christmas without: Call the Midwife Strictly Dr WHO Mrs Browns boys Pointless Question of Sport The Archers Womans hour It would be unbritish and unchristian

@caroldecker @Keir_Starmer Custard is useful. Half cunt half bastard.

@jdfranksCU @oxley264 Same time tomorrow Mrs Bell?

@oxley264 And Mr. Bleeker is understandably upset

ROGER MOORE On location New Orleans LIVE AND LET DIE 1973

@PlusnetCS WARNING! FRAUD ACCOUNT! THIS IS NOT PLUSNET. THESE PROPLE WILL TRY AND MAKE YOU DOWNLOAD AN APP TO GET YOUR CARD DETAILS. BEWARE! THRY HAVE BEEN REPORTED!

@Plusnet I've sent you a private message but not received any reply yet. How long should I give it before phoning in?

@TravelodgeUK Shout out to the manager on reception at Tower Bridge Central today. We mentioned 2 minor issues with our room when we checked out & she couldn't have been more apologetic & grateful for letting her know. She gave us complimentary breakfasts. Excellent service 👏

@EE Just bought an iPhone 17 for my business from EE business. Can I not view the bills in my account through the website? I can't download the app as I'm not the user of the phone so need to be able to view them online.

Trump and Starmer conference 🇺🇸🇬🇧 Trump said he has removed over a million illegal immigrants Starmer said, we just sent one back this morning 😂

Keir Starmer regrets appointing Fred West to do his patio after new emails come to light.