Martin

Many otherwise healthy people can’t make it thru Benzo WD but I’m already mostly bedbound already. I can’t get up and move around or walk or exercise or do anything to distract etc…beyond hell

For all my life I’ve been horrified of su!cide….made me sick to stomach when I’d hear of someone doing it. Yet here I find myself enduring so much unending torture that only will get worse that I’m contemplating myself still w nausea in my stomach over it…wtf does one do!?

@Asteroidplease1 Totally and w my prob is I cannot pace bc I’m bedridden mostly w severe ME/CFS, mitochondria dysfunction so makes it even more miserable to say the least…

@MartinMoltke Trapped is a good word for it. Absolute desperation to escape the unending inhumane torture. Nothing distracts me in those times. I can’t read, watch tv, talk etc. Just pace, cry, scream and think of ending it all. You will get better. You will get over the med damage.

Another scary day where I felt manic for hours. Feeling of being trapped scary place where my brain went. Not in the sense of getting violent or anything like that but on verge of psychosis…feeling so trapped panicked stuck in this mess tapering hell for over a year w severe ME

@ESF12345678910 At the same time I don’t know I can survive….but if I’d have to increase the dose (if I found a Dr to agree) then prob months after that I’d need more and more and more..so this is the ultimate trapped dilemma

@ESF12345678910 So if I could just stay on and be ok I def would my life if bad enough it actually helps still (for now) my muscle pain and brain energy and noise sensitivity…so yeah I don’t want to come off but I’m kinda forced to…

I now have no clue if my over a month far too big of a cut Clonazepam (abt 25%) off of .5mg a day for 2.5mo then within a week updose to .45mg (so 10% cut after updose) is causing my severe emotional instability or if it’s the med itself or what…no way to know

@ESF12345678910 So for me basically seems I have almost no choice

@ESF12345678910 It’s bc my body started developing tolerance withdrawal symptoms within just 2 months so I realize for my body I won’t be one of the “lucky ones” who can just stay on a lower dose and have it work and not have to constantly up the dose. I’m so sick and it was helping w sx tho

@ESF12345678910 Ty ❤️ same to you

@MartinMoltke I often beg for this. I’m sorry you are suffering. ❤️

Why can’t God take me in my sleep? I wish for this now desperately. Sick of the suffering. I was a huge lover of life too NEVER depressed ever…small things gave me happiness and pleasure…body ruined by severe ME/CFS had some hope last year left now Benzo destroyed what was left

@worked_over Ty ❤️ I’m glad you’re making progress hope it continues:)

@MartinMoltke How scary- I’m sorry 😞. I’m dealing with protracted withdrawal from Effexor and 10 months in. I am making progress finally.

There are days & times when my emotional state is so bad I feel like a baby. Legit need to like lay in someone’s lap and be held or something comforted yet even that doesn’t help too much. Got so bad earlier I thought I wonder if I could hire someone to just legit stay w me 24/7

@Limessa_67 Ty I think I should but it’s hard to know many say don’t hold more than a month which it’s now been…mentally I feel like I’m tailspin. Even tho many other of the horrific symptoms weeks ago have settled

@MartinMoltke Martin, can you continue holding or is it that not an option? You're not alone in this....💜

0 clue if this is still from prior destabilization cut then up dose back to .45mg (from .5) but that was over a month ago so now idk if I cut again if the med is not making me crazy or if I ought to hold a little while longer maybe another week or two no one knows

I am so not one to harm myself I was so anal about my body and taking care of it. I just see no escape here. Being trapped w walls closing in is beyond scary I can’t put it int words

@InsularEntropy Is there any place better tho?

If you have a very extreme case of akathisia, you are better off leaving the US permanently than riding it out here. If you are dependent on the healthcare system to stay alive then you can be subjected to hospital policies that can almost ensure you will not survive akathisia.

@adic_9 @MelRoBuilds They seem serious and already got one approved for a diff disease. I think profit making enterprise might have more success than others? How many decades has it been for the academics trying and failing

@adic_9 @MelRoBuilds Yes very good. Lots of familiar things showed up for them that are known

Wonder how much a genome changes post interventions (Genome = record book. A changeable one.) Imagine doing semi-frequent sequencing to watch what changes while doing significant metal detoxing Remove lead, cadmium, and aluminum = future improved gene expressions?

This shit is so unfair sets up for horrible chronic diseases later in life and you had no control over it…

@adic_9 @MelRoBuilds Yes this is prob the best shot for testing. Oxford Bio right?

@MelRoBuilds Have you seen episwitch? Would pick up on the important changes