𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕟

middle names are so funny. it’s like ok what if we gave this baby a second worse name that’s a little bit of a secret ?? and it kind of has to be marie

happy pride month

i hate how many ways that i don’t fully understand gen z has developed to spot millennials from 10,000 yards away. youll say something innocent like “i went to the mall” and a teen in ripped jeans will burst through your window yelling “was harry potter there, you cheugy fuck”

jack black assigning the kids positions in the band in school of rock is the greatest scene in the history of movies

it’s crazy that they both had bangs

there was a week when we all got really into sea shanties

i mean it’s imitation crab. it’s whitefish and starch. did you think it grew on trees. did you think there was a special type of crab called an imitation crab that they killed for crab sticks

@marciax3nyc and they were dressed for this weeks runway

If cheezits didn’t exist i’d be severely malnourished im so serious

Hear me out…

The thing about romanticizing sitcom friend group hangouts (Eric’s basement, Central Perk) is that they don’t exist anymore. The epicenter of friendship is no longer physical, it’s in your groupchat called “cunty little babies 👶🏼” or something like that

“it’s bad bitch o’clock” i say to myself as i take my melatonin and hop in bed

you put me and him in the same fish tank... we fucking till the walls turn green

if crab rangoons had a pussy i would eat it

@gabbyfarah no bc i saw the video before the tweet and i was like “i should tell gabby to do this”

I’ve made it

your closest friends living far away from you is so annoying.

i know we got bigger issues at hand but we gotta all come together and get that all day breakfast back at mcdonalds

it can be sooo healing to waste $7 per day on special treats

why does garlic have to wear so many little jackets