Si B

@LBC Oh what a surprise...

Woman who claimed she was Madeleine McCann returns to Poland after DNA results reveal she's not missing toddler lbc.co.uk/news/woman-cla…

@sp_stratford @RAF_Luton Ah, mate...just leave the page now.

Photo of the Day: Vulcan pilot Sqn Ldr Barbara "Barbary" McBarbara swaps insurance details with F3 Tornado pilot Sqn Ldr Jo "Joey" McJoeter after the Vulcan collided with the F3's open sunroof while looking for a parking space Photographed from a Canberra #InternationalWomensDay

@ImHellaPetty2 @LBC I thought the same: it'll probably be "that supermarket"

@LBC Remember when they were selling us horse meat 🐎 Why hide the name of the supermarket?

Supermarket chain under investigation for selling South American meat labelled as 'best British beef' lbc.co.uk/news/supermark…

@surfnuttz @LBC Let's also not forget the cyclist had decided not to wear a helmet

@LBC Partially sighted disabled woman thrown in jail because cyclist she shouted at was on pavement and lost control and fell under car, if she had pushed her off into the road i could understand it but she didn't, we will never know if there was room for the 2 of them anyway.

Woman jailed for manslaughter after gesturing and swearing at cyclist before she fell into path of oncoming car plans to appeal her three-year prison sentence lbc.co.uk/news/cyclist-m…

My husband and I have a game called racewank. We jerk each other off. Whoever makes the other cum/squirt the first wins. I cheat by holding lube in my vagina and releasing it after a couple of mins so he thinks he's won. He then offers to do much of the house work.

@teaandmedals Some of it is probably kimchee (pickled fermented cabbage). They may be some canine in there too...

Anyone have any ideas what is on this plate??

@Gib1Wayne @JonathanPieNews The rain in Spain Falls mainly on the plain (where we grow fruit and veg to be sold to the first country ever to impose economic sanctions on itself)

@JonathanPieNews In 🇬🇮 and 🇪🇸 there are no shortages. 🤔 weird considering the “rationing” is supposed to be due to the bad weather in Spain. Must be because the “special” Brexit veg is grown in a special place in Spain where it rained 😂😂😂

I wonder if rationing was part of the ‘levelling up’ plan?

@LBC @YorksAmbulance this was a YAS crew

Dan Walker posted pictures of his bloodied face and said he is ‘glad to be alive’ after being hit by a car while riding his bike lbc.co.uk/news/dan-walke…

@I_am_da_BOM @MarkHamill Brit here, your friend with the damp summers, damp winters and sensible gun laws. Did you know we've actually had a school shooting? Not this month or this year, but way back in 1996, but none since. Why? Because gun laws do indeed save lives. Listen. It's the guns.

@MarkHamill Australian here, your friend with the hot summers and sensible gun laws. Did you know we've never had a school shooting? Not just this month or this year, but never in our history. Why? Because gun laws save lives. Listen. It's the guns.

@teaandmedals Mess your hair up, wave your hands about, generally talk bollocks, and finish off with something in Latin. Who knows, you could end up as Prime Minister...

So, somehow I've managed to appear intelligent enough to be asked to speak at the FPHC conference next month. Anyone got any tips to make me look a little less like an imposter? #impostersyndrome

@harman_geoff @benny24a123 @PolitlcsUK @adamsolomons5 Are we still allowed to say "man up"? Asking for a friend...

@benny24a123 @PolitlcsUK @adamsolomons5 Well Benny, I don’t often say this in these more enlightened times, but here it’s entirely appropriate...if you are offended by them not assuming then I suggest you dry your eyes, princess, and man the f*** up.

🚨 | NEW: NHS doctors have now been told NOT to assume the gender of any patient [@adamsolomons5]

@WaterforStreet1 @allquietmovie You mean me? I'm 45...

@MedicMarathon @allquietmovie Teenagers shouldnt be allowed on Twitter

Take a look behind the “beautifully shot” scenes of ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT. Based on the literary masterpiece and nominated for 14 BAFTAs and 9 Oscars including Best Picture, Best International Feature and Best Adapted Screenplay, watch now on Netflix.

@KathLavery @bespokespeeches God there are some humourless people out there 🤦

@bespokespeeches Whilst at NHS Hull I chaired the Sexual Health Action Group until I couldn’t stop giggling! They changed the name!

Worth checking the acronyms of the new departments carefully before they’re announced. Tony Blair briefly made Alan Johnson the Productivity, ENergy and Industry Secretary…

@cardwell_1 @NadineDorries @TalkTV Lots and lots like Jelly Tots?

This is a point I relentlessly made on my @TalkTV show #Fridaynightwithnadine When the rest of the world leant into not poking the Putin bear for fear of reprisals, Boris led the charge and got world leaders into the right (and brave) place.

@NadineDorries @DCMS

Sad to break up @DCMS because it works. Dept has tragically lacked profile of late despite being most effective in Whitehall. Track record in tech, digital, gigabit roll out, telecoms, data speaks for itself. This along with maths to 18- it’s like Cummings never left!

@JohnJCrace Simple: as thick as a whale omelette...

Dimmer than she appears or totally dishonest? Liz Truss may be both | John Crace theguardian.com/politics/2023/…

@teaandmedals @helloimnicholas Thankfully he doesn't work in my part of the bunch. Bloody reprobate.

@teaandmedals A likely scenario: old folk + automatic car = squashed person

I'm smoking a fag....

@AchingRat @lesyoung01 I'd argue that the problem is partly people calling for grazed knees and week old coughs, and partly the service for dispatching to grazed knees and week old coughs (these are not specific examples, I'm generalising of course). What we need is a better triage system imo

@lesyoung01 Erm - whilst you might be right in practice, the legal definition is different, and court cases have repeatedly held ambulance purposes to be the conveyance of patients. The problem is morons calling ambulances for grazed knees and week-old coughs, expecting a free ride to A+E.

Ambulances are there to take you to hospital ! No - Ambulances are there to bring trained clinicians to you in an emergency. If they can deal with your issue they will then discharge you at home. But if you need further treatment then they may take you to hospital.