Dave Goddard

100% agree. My favourite film scene ever and one of the funniest things I have ever seen - there is so much packed into this sequence you don't realise it's only three minutes long.

STOP GIVING ME NOTIFICATIONS FROM ACCOUNTS I HAVE NEVER LOOKED AT IN MY LIFE AND POST INFLAMMATORY RACIST GAMMON CRAP, YOU STUPID WEBSITE.

@kpkeepsakes Hope you're ok Karen, I miss our chats

Must be 6 months since I was on. Is it still toxic? Will catch up on messages ASAP.

@olivia_whissell Find an open truck and park inside the back of it :P

They are filming some JonBenét Ramsey show/movie at my university which is cool but they are taking up half the parking lot I pay $1000 to park in

#bbccricket Two Everton Weekes Notice

@wallyboxcar @fesshole Are you me?

Left our 17yo home alone for the first time last weekend, was secretly hoping he'd have a party or at least sneak in a gf/bf. Nothing, ring cameras confirm it, checked with neighbours too, he never even left the house, I'm more than a little disappointed.

@HideousRob @fesshole Same as me, it was an achievement to get me to go outside with others as I was happiest sitting in my room reading, never mind leaving me to do things on my own.

@fesshole That’s how my mom probably felt leaving me at home. I was always a nerdy loser lol

@fesshole That says to me you are very unhappy with your life. Talk to a doctor or MH professional - don't be scared to ask for help.

Sometimes I dream of getting a serious but not deadly injury in a car or bicycle accident so I can rest in hospital for a few weeks. All I want is a break from endless work, family and home responsibilities.

@fesshole Maybe as you've left it til he's 17 to leave him on his own, he's terrified of you and doesn't trust you?

@NoContextBrits If ever anyone wanted to sum up Twitter, just read this thread of replies.

Wrong answers only.

@NoContextBrits Get out of the way so I can see that Pacer! #traingeek

@NoContextBrits Makes me think of this. youtube.com/watch?v=mzapOe…

@fesshole There is scope for a novel there.

When I was younger I thought that "twin towns" were absolutely identical replicas of each other and that this even extended to the people. I often wondered what my identical twins in Gouda and Metz were up to and whether we would ever meet.

@ScreamQueen514 @NoContextBrits I am proud of my West Midlands heritage, so shurrup.

@NoContextBrits Idk if it’s bad but a little concerning that Brits would rather have chlamydia than a Brummie accent 😭

Name one bad thing about the UK.

@fesshole If true, I think this is my new favourite post on here. Well done you!

Former drug addict, single for a decade. Met a drug-free lady who showed interest. Confessed I sometime did them, but "at festivals and stuff - 2 or 3 times a year". She believed me, and I went clean to maintain the lie. Got married later that year. The lie is now the truth.

@beardy_lee @fesshole That makes you as bad as them I'm afraid. Just drive normally and act like they're not there.

@fesshole Oh even better is when they tailgate you to try and hurry you up. Time to knock another 5-10 mph off my speed

I tried to drive within the speed limit at all times however my main motivation for this is not because that's the law. It's simply because I like to see the faces of the irate drivers behind me getting all annoyed because I've made them slow down to the speed limit.

@PhilipLeworthy @fesshole When I was younger, if anyone had a stomach upset they were always given the plastic bin from my bedroom. There was an identical one in the bathroom but no, it always had to be the one from my room for some reason.

@fesshole We had a dedicated sick bowl when we were kids, I also had one when my own kids were little. Both were always kept in with the food/cooking bowls, even though vomit was it's only purpose. No idea why.

Currently on holiday and my daughter has just had a bout of vomiting. We used a big pot from the holiday flat we're staying in to catch all the vomit. I obviously cleaned it thoroughly since, but it makes you think.

@NoContextBrits A pub lunch, if accompanied by crisps, a pork pie and a pint.

What do you call this?

@Only9built For goodness sake, I got the hippy hippy shakes...

Sound on 🔊 Boogie-Boogie 😂😂

A few mushrooms and a bit of HP sauce.

@Iyeshechka Ah that'll be why, I was on the District Line. Will know for next time I'm in London - thanks.

@MidSportsMedia I believe it’s only at the Embankment station, Northbound, Northern line. So fairly specific. Information from a walking tour of hidden London two weeks ago.

Annoyingly I used Embankment station recently and never heard the announcement at all. Have they stopped using it?