Mitchell Roché

@realDonaldTrump You’re an idiot.

@jk_rowling Perfectly on brand for you.

This might be a British thing, but if my neighbour put up this sign I’d take hundred mile detours rather than run the risk of having to meet them.

@MarkHamill “There’s nothing worse than a girl with a tramp stamp. Oh, wait…”

What are the odds this ages poorly?

@LeadingReport You should also get a jail sentence if you’re a convicted felon.

BREAKING: Former President Trump says he believes you should get a one-year jail sentence if you do anything to desecrate the American flag. “When they're allowed to stomp on the flag, put lighter fluid on the flag and set it on fire. When you’re allowed to do that, you get a one-year jail sentence, and you'll never see it again.”

Fun Halloween sketch Lil Devil in rehearsal for a MOHO Show in 2014. Written by Andy Gach, featuring #FredWillard, @MitchellRoche and @AnnaMathiasVO #halloween2021

It’s 2022, people - can we PLEASE stop selling clothes by sexual orientation??

@AndyRichter I bet this idiot doesn’t even know the difference between past tense and past participle.

@JoJoFromJerz 🙋🏻‍♂️

Who else wants the NRA to lose its f*cking tax exempt status?

Heinzsight is 57/57.

@avalonpenrose Clearly, he’s the 6 and YOU’RE the 9 (+1).

@pattonoswalt Unsmart

He had me at, “White guy with dreads.”

@nachosarah Clearly, to prevent some psychopath from entering a school, armed with fetuses and a t-shirt cannon.

how the fuck are we banning abortions before assault rifles

Just found out that #JoJoSiwa is not a #StarWars character.

@alyankovic Why didn’t she get the tall boots?

Oh wait, I just found some more recent footage. (Happy 18th birthday, Nina)

Today marks the day my daughter legally becomes an adult. Sorry, this is the most recent footage I could find of her.

@avalonpenrose Let me pay your parking meter.

If you’re looking for a tennis opponent, I’m your guy! I’m staunchly anti-tennis.

@dorothyofisrael Someone should let her know she’s miked.

In case you wondering why #cocaine is trending, exhibit A:

@sk_griffith (Y)up

y’all remember (H)ouse???

@StephenAtHome I’m sure he also doesn’t believe in fluoride.

This is like a photo of the fifth dentist who doesn't believe in fluoride.

@spicylex You’re better off. Guys are always trying to get a little head.