HEARTBREAKING: #Giants rookie quarterback Jaxson Dart with a heartbreaking reaction after his teammate and close friend Cam Skattebo went down with a brutal injury.
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This is awful.
Hangover cure:
-black coffee
-hit the gym
-see a baddie doing legs who you had a crush on in College
-ask her how she’s been and invite her to the party you’re going to Friday (don’t small-talk or be “nice” - be straightforward like Ryan Gosling)
-let the grab she gives you on your bicep make you realize Sundays make you wish you had a girlfriend, tell her you regret not asking her out when you were at school - remain calm when she blushes then say yes when she asks if she can shower at your place
-smash without a condom then watch 3 episodes of The Office (her butt and calves are even more phenomenal in-person than in pictures)
-go to your cool Uncle’s Italian restaurant and introduce her to him and his girlfriend, sit down with them for dinner at a table in the window, slip the waiter five $20 bills as a tip (your cool Uncle = the one you can tell anything to judgment-free)
-offer to take her home but be lowkey euphoric when she asks to sleepover (you thought this was how you felt about her but not the other way around)
-watch live performances on YouTube until 1:30AM (Miley Cyrus “Like A Prayer”, “The Scientist” by Coldplay, “To Build A Home”, etc.)
-bang again right there on the couch in the Carolina-blue lighting of the paused TV screen
-give her one of your High School football t-shirts to sleep in
-fall asleep with her head on your chest and her leg wrapped across your body while re-hearing “To Build A Home” in your mind and heart the way Andy Dufresne describes it in Shawshank Redemption and think to yourself ‘wow life is a miracle - I’m so lucky to be alive’