Miles

I'm trying to come up with jokes about the debate but i just get angry and start incoherently muttering and i don't want anyone to mistake me for a third candidate

We tried @adamkokesh they don’t even know they want you

“It’s not always sunny in Philadelphia” -@realDonaldTrump

*interrupting, violating the rules of the debate* We nEeD LAw aNd oRDeR

Big 🐐 Vibes this night

Almost like the market provides options 😱

me (hasn’t listened to sea shanties yet today): i’m sad

The Yeezy Garlic Cloves

Me when someone says “I’m not here to argue” in Facebook comments

How long until @kanyewest literally reinvents the wheel?

he didn't ride over the dude, he was walking the bike But still fuck this cop He's making everything worse just walk past the dude, then arrest him its nonviolent civil disobedience and this shit from cops is exactly what protesters are complaining about

Dude wtf

10 pieces of workout advice I wish I could have given to my 25 year old self I've made a lot of mistakes in the gym. If I could slap my past younger self into a better path this is what I'd say 👇

Bout to have a nice bowl of lasagna 😋

#DaveChappelle WINS 2x Emmys for #SticksAndStones here’s his Acceptance Speech! ✊🏾😂

weird that offices are nsfw right now

“Poor coordination, messy handwriting, taking things too literally, trouble reading social cues, lack of common sense, as well as difficulty with word problems in math and reading comprehension” This just sounds like every report card I ever had

Ok but also 6 x 6 = 36 is Saturday and 7 x 7 = 49 is Sunday 😱

She literally explains it, have you ever listened to this song? “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?”