MuffinBuzz

Told by an impeccable source @letsgobillson3 and @gregemerz mental status “dicey at best” ahead of Bills/Chiefs. Both BAWT and Merz acknowledged the well wishes from @GOLFCOOKIECUP faithful and their desire for the Bills to beat KC.

Told by a source @ChristianGoetz1 will be golfing exclusively in swimsuits during @GOLFCOOKIECUP. @ChristianGoetz1 is known for his American patriotism and wants there to be no doubt where he is from for the entirety of #CookieCup11

We saw @MeanieMuffin do this but it's likely because he enjoys recreational percocets.

Both @MFHockeyClub GM Elik & @BetosPizza GM Emory Featherbottom will have press availability today. We will report any newsworthy comments.

GM Elik on @BetosPizza roster, "A talented group. A youthful group. Certainly a lot for any team to handle. We have a huge challenge on our hands. They try to get our guys off their game with theatrics but we'll be focused. We know the prize for one more win."

GM Elik on @TheMorrellJr, "The guy took a lot of criticism this season. I believe he's playing his best hockey right now. The tape shows it. I can confirm he had his jersey on backwards before last game. Helped keep the room loose."

GM Elik on @MFHockeyClub scoring depth, "It's a strength of ours. We rolled out a great top 6 last game with @corntusker, @razmatazz05, & @Wolf_Stansson39 unavailable. I think @chunkinaround2 has a big game in him. It really could come from any of those guys. Tough to defend."

GM Elik on @MFHockeyClub defense core, "Whether it has been 3 or 4, they've been strong. @AlexArtayet's physical presence made a big difference last game. The forwards also assisted with a strong backcheck. We were dialed in."

GM Elik on the play of @MFHockeyClub goalie McLennan, "Mac is a gamer. He's aggressive in the crease. His focus against Gong Show was what we need from him. This is a big game for league-wide perception."

GM Featherbottom "@BetosPizza was robbed of a championship last year. We will not be denied this year. We butt slammed @MFHockeyClub last time we played. The parade is already planned with so much cheap sprinkle cheese to drop everywhere on the route. So sweet, bro."

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza, "@MFHockeyClub is too old. I don't think they have a single college or high school player. They act like this isn't an @nhl level league."

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @Wolf_Stansson39, "I want to jump him in a dark alley with 8 other guys. I want his wife & @corntusker to watch it. He's not even that hot. Those lips cannot be real. Anyway, I don't like him. No one on our team does."

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @TheMorrellJr, "Guy has the same last name as Hitler's personal doctor. I'm not sure what else you need to know."

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza, "Listen, do your own research and all. It's a fact that Khristisch is a Ukranian troll farm employee funded by @chunkinaround2's shell corp to get @realDonaldTrump reelected in 2024 with a reincarnated JFK Jr. as his running mate. Everyone knows."

GM Featherbottom of @BetosPizza on @MFHockeyClub ownership #FSG, "What type of food can they make? Hehe he. What a joke. How many games have they even attended? Our owners make pizza! #MuffinNation has review bombed our pizza on @Yelp. It's much better than a 3.8 rating!!!"

We don't see any scenario where subtracting @Wolf_Stansson39 from the @MFHockeyClub is a good move. Maybe if they can trade him for Connor Bedard or @AADaddario.

It would not be @MFHockeyClub playoff season without some sort of event

BREAKING: We’ve just confirmed @Wolf_Stansson39 has told club leadership he is “stepping away” from the team effective immediately and will not play Tuesday. Concerned about being a distraction, 39 plans to communicate to the team in some capacity prior to face off

Also told @chunkinaround2 and will be “heavily involved” with discussions as 22 views @Wolf_Stansson39 as a “necessary protector” post concussion return. A source indicated 39’s plan to “relocate to Mexico to sell coconuts and narcotics to tourists on the beach” is not viable

One club official that was granted anonymity as they were not permitted to speak on this subject stated, “we’ve seen these types of Daniel Alfredsson retirement dances before - we aren’t overly concerned”. @MFHockeyClub opens the playoffs on Tuesday with an early 1120pm face off

BREAKING: @Wolf_Stansson39 currently “mulling” @MFHockeyClub retirement. Post what all hopes are a victory parade, told FSG brass are making plans to meet with Brooks privately at company headquarters post the season to understand “what it will take” to keep Brooks playing

OFFICIAL: We will host defending ICCHL League Champions Gong Show in our playoff semifinals game this upcoming Tuesday March 14th at 11:20 PM on @DIRECTV Channel 869. #FarmOn #FinishTheStory #Playoffs #PackTheCastle