Bob

LMAO I love that the police officer had NO idea who Justin Timberlake is. 😭🤣

@conquertheno Steven Tyler

Who is this? Wrong answers only. 🤔

@BamaSaltyMarine 😂

Two Army generals were discussing their plans for the up coming battle. The first one shouts to his aid: Lieutenant! Bring me my red shirt! The second general says, "Why do you want your red shirt?" If I am shot in battle then the blood won't show and my troops will fight on courageously. The second general thinks for a minute and then shouts to his aid: Lieutenant! Bring me my brown pants!

Tik Tokker goes after Ilhan Omar, and it’s bloody brilliant

A billionaire buys an elephant... Two billionaire friends meet. After a casual conversation, one of them finally asks, So, how's your home life? The other answers, ''Couldn't be better! I bought an elephant!'' The other guy looks at him, astonished. ''An elephant? Have you gone mad?'' The guy replies, smiling, ''Oh, man, let me tell you, it's the best purchase in my life! He's grazing on the lawn, making it nice and even. Kids love him! Always riding his back and sliding down his trunk, it keeps them outside instead of in front of the screen all day. My wife loves him too! He's super strong and helps her with moving things around when I'm not home. And let me tell you, the best thing is, it's kind and smart, the best pet I've ever had! The other billionaire scratches his chin. 'Yeah, that sounds kind of amazing, actually! How much did you pay for him?' The guy replies, 'A million quid! Worth every penny, it's a steal at this price.' The other billionaire says, 'Sell him to me for two million?' 'No, what are you saying? Sell him? He's like family!' 'Three million!' 'I don't know, man. You really can't put a price on this kind of friendship and usefulness!' 'Alright, five million!' 'Five million? Well, okay, man, I'll sell him to you, but only because we're friends.' In a few weeks, the two billionaires meet up again. The guy who bought the elephant is angry as hell. As soon as he sees the other guy, he starts yelling: 'What THE HELL did you sell to me? Not only does he NOT graze the lawn, he completely destroyed all my greenery and trees! There's elephant dung EVERYWHERE, it smells even inside the house! And what was that about kids? They are TERRIFIED of the thing, it's aggressive and massive, and scary! I cannot sleep because he trumpets ALL THE TIME. My wife has been having nightmares, and now I won't hear the end of her bickering until I die! IT'S AWFUL, the worst purchase in my life!' The other billionaire looks at him and says: 'Well, man, I don't know what to say, with that attitude, you'll never sell an elephant!'

@InsideLucysHead lol

When a man lost his rifle, the army charged him $85. When he told his sailor friend, his friend responded with "that's why in the Navy the captain goes down with his ship."

The guy who went viral for looking like Jeffrey Epstein says, "I'm not Jeffrey Epstein, I'm Palm Beach Pete!"

The first female home plate umpire in MLB history, Jen Pawol, made the worst call you’ll ever seen in a game… After it was challenged by the catcher, the ABS system showed just how awful it was 😬

These are great pranks

Republican congressman asks police chief if he would enforce gun confiscation. What happened next is unbelievable.

@EstieMaddie Nice!

😳 MY BRAIN CAN’T EVEN COMPREHEND BEING THIS TALENTED.

Physics is amazing 🤩

That time Robin Williams stepped into Martha Stewart’s kitchen and instantly turned it into a showcase of his own wild, unforgettable charm.

.@secofwar Pete Hegseth: "We’ve decided to share the ocean with Iran. We’ve given them the bottom half” 🔥

@RepNancyMace Minnesota Learing Centers

Name one case besides the Epstein network where this much evidence existed and so few arrests were made. We’ll wait.

@ConservativeCD @JustJenRX Because you have to be insane to be a liberal.

@JustJenRX Why are all liberal women insane?

And this is why I carry. FAFO.

@ScarlettGrace92 And fire will always burn your ass if you don’t jump correctly.

Jumping over the fire with friends for Chahar-Shanbeh Soori. 🔥 🇮🇷 Light will always conquer darkness.