Alexander Griffiths

this is the most perfect piece of art ive ever seen

@lizslayed My unlimited card was the first thing I bought when I started earning money!

Never related to something more (me with 7 cinema memberships)

these people LOVED covid. inside all day, censorship online, greenlight to be moral busybodies/scold people for being maskless/not trusting the science, overly cautious, bubblewrapped society. the world was a massive longhouse, a shitlib paradise

Going to bed because my life is crap and I can’t envision it getting fixed tonight…

Chuck Norris actually died in twenty years ago, but death was too afraid to tell him.

@angryaboutbikes Followed by “well at least go get a Pepsi Max.”

Average UK pre-cinema ad roll now is like: - Hey, wanna join the navy? - Hey, wanna join the army? - Oh, you're too good for the navy? Good luck leaving your shithole hometown. - Hey, please be a teacher? - Hey, wanna foster a kid?

I'll always remember Chuck Norris as the man who changed the course of dodgeball history by casting the deciding vote that allowed Average Joes to play in the championship of the Las Vegas International Dodgeball Open where they upset the heavily favored Globo Gym Purple Cobras. RIP. 🙏

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

@PolitlcsUK @guardian I simply don’t believe there is any market for a Lee Anderson Cameo…

🚨 WATCH: Lee Anderson allegedly broke Parliamentary rules on commercial filming after recording Cameo videos for Valentine's Day in his Parliamentary office [@Guardian]

@endofanerajc Blogging, Baking, Letterboxd, Origami.

please suggest hobbies, i desperately need new ones since becoming physically disabled

St. Gertrude of Nivelles shares her feast day with St. Patrick. She is the patron saint of cats, gardeners and travellers; the original 'Cat Lady'. #StGertrudesDay😺 #FairytaleTuesday

Don't forget to celebrate Saint Gertrude of Nivelles day March 17th. Thank you.

Why does @Keir_Starmer think that a white middle class, often public school educated, geezer (mainly men) wearing a wig think that they are better than 12 ordinary men and women form diverse backgrounds to decide a case which can get the accused 3 years in jail? 🤷🏼‍♂️

not me defending mamdani but if you were observing the race he did not do this and i think it’s funny everyone is mad at him for not living up to something they lowkey just made up about him for the vibe

Who rigs every Oscar night ? 🎶

the idea of immortalizing a loved one in art will never not move me to tears. reminds me a lot of the line “what’s remembered lives” from zhao’s nomadland. i lost my grandma the year it released, & nothing has brought me as much peace as that quote until this scene. she’s magic.

Caring has shaped so much of my life, from looking after my mum when I was young to caring for my son today. This is a very personal piece but I feel it’s important to share. observer.co.uk/news/national/…

The best thing about being an employee who works hard, doesn’t complain and tries to get along with everyone, is that you’ll still be treated with contempt.