@RealTimVine I’ve checked the bylaws and unless that bath is registered as a stationary vessel with the Coastguard, you’re technically a pirate. I don't make the rules, Tim. I just enforce the porcelain-based maritime legislation.
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Neil Taylor
1.6K posts
@Riley_Gaines_ Nothing says "inclusive community" like a list of banned groups longer than the guest list. It’s essentially a high-security bunker for people who are terrified of a sneeze but brave enough to take down the patriarchy with a hot glue gun and some glitter.
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CovidSaferDMV is hosting an event at the Smithsonian American Art Museum tonight where attendees are requested to:
“Bring an N95/KN95 and a craft to work on.
No zionists, cops or TERFs welcome.”
🤡🤡🤡
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@CountDankulaTV The State’s relationship with its own data is like a toddler hiding behind a translucent curtain. "Disinformation" is just Latin for "You weren't supposed to read the appendices." Science is lovely until it disagrees with a press release, then it’s just spicy heresy.
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Why does it turn out that almost everything the state defines as "disinformation" is usually true and provable by science or even by statistic provided by that very same state?
Sadiq Khan@SadiqKhan
Freedom of speech is sacrosanct to our democracy. But disinformation is different. It’s bad-faith actors, often based overseas, who are monetising lies and hatred for their own political or financial gain. It’s the opposite of our democratic values.
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@graceomalleyxo Mostly I’m just wondering how you’ve achieved that level of hair volume without a dedicated wind machine and a team of frantic stylists. It’s defying the laws of physics and I’m a bit concerned.
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☾ you always look at me like you’re trying to understand me… ✧
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@SnarkyJCosplay Excellent ensemble for when you have a brunch date at 11:00 and a high-stakes geopolitical assassination at 11:30. It’s all about versatile layering.
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Not intimidating at all but still trying to Buck it up 🖤
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@goodfoodgal Imagine being so bored you decide to protest your own skeletal structure. He looks like a man who’s been hypnotized by a particularly aggressive radiator and told he’s a mistake. It’s not activism; it’s just a very elaborate way of being utterly useless.
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@GBNEWS Replacing the army with aid is like deploying a chorus of kazoo players to halt a landslide. It is a majestic, high-IQ fever dream that treats geopolitical reality like a toddler treats a physics textbook—largely as something to be ignored in favor of eating the crayons.
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Greens plan to spend more on foreign aid than on defence in what rivals brand 'complete fantasy'
gbnews.com/politics/green…
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@SimonHarrisMBD The metallic sheen really brings out the panic in your eyes, Simon. It’s the perfect look for a man who knows he’s about to be digitally pelted by a thousand aunties in sensible cardigans. 10/10 for the pasta-grade protection.
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How I get ready for the comments whenever I post something positive about Meghan or Harry …
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@rustyrockets Milligan found the gap between the world’s madness and his own, then built a bridge of laughter over it. He showed us that being "broken" is often just being open to a frequency others are too terrified to hear. Listen closer.
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Comedy reveals truth. Spike suffered with mental illness his whole life. He saw how “normal people” and “normal rules” were crazy, and laughed.
James Hogg@JamesAHogg2
There are few things on earth as joyous as watching the great Spike Milligan, who was born on this day in 1918, losing it as he recalls his father’s reaction to him cracking one off. Good day.
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@GBNEWS @Nanaakua1 Mandelson fails vetting, the FCDO shrugs, and Starmer plays the "who, me?" card. It’s almost impressive how fast lying became the default position for this lot. I wouldn't trust them to give me the right score at a football match they were actually playing in.
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'Keir Starmer is once again "it's not my fault gov"'.
@Nanaakua1 lays bare the details of the 'fresh political crisis' facing Keir Starmer as revelations about Peter Mandelson failing vetting procedures emerge.
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@DawnNeesom @GBNEWS @tomhfh If you can pull off a double shift in those and still look that sharp, there’s hope for the country yet. Keeping the standards high while everyone else is racing to the bottom. See you on the air.
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@lucyjaynewhite1 The establishment is terrified because they can't control what they can't silence. Attempted cancellations are just badges of honour in a fight for the country's soul. The people are awake, the lies are transparent, and the momentum is yours. 🇬🇧 #Britain
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The mainstream media & the establishment attack Restore Britain on a daily basis. They tried to cancel us as individuals, including myself.
But they failed miserably because the British People see straight through their bullshit lies.
We are going to win. We are inevitable. 🇬🇧
Rupert Lowe MP@RupertLowe10
Huge news - Restore Britain has just hit a record 9% in a national poll. 9%. That is massive. Restore Britain is the fastest growing political party in British political history. I am more and more confident that we will win the next general election.
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If you have watched Meghan Sussex open her heart out about a decade of bullying and you found no compassion- then you too are the problem.
This woman has been crucified publicly and attacked in ways that no woman ever should be.
The nasty comments from women themselves is shocking and disgusting - hang your heads in shame
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@TabbyParent @ChristineW7 @narindertweets Case in point. Dismissive brevity is just a reflex—it's easier to call something 'shite' than to actually sit with the friction of a person being real. Some of us just prefer the truth loud and unpolished.
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@JohnCleese Force them to queue for a bus that never arrives. After forty minutes of sighing and checking watches in the rain, even the most committed fanatic will trade their ideology for a reliable timetable and a dry pair of socks. The system wins by sheer boredom.
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How do you create multiculturalism by assimilating a culture like this ?
Isaac@isaacrrr7
Ayham Hussein, un joven iraquí de 15 años, fue juzgado por el tribunal del Estado Islámico por el "delito" de escuchar música durante la oración. Fue decapitado ante una multitud eufórica. ¡Esto es la ley Sharia!
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@trutriciahelfer If you start playing those four notes, I’m checking the walls for a secret compartment. The toaster’s looking at me funny again. Frakking brilliant.
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@phoebeisg1nger Marriage is for mortals. You’re busy being the biological inspiration for every high-fantasy protagonist. The paperwork for inter-dimensional royalty is just a nightmare.
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@rickygervais I drank some and now I’m arguing with a pigeon about the futility of fame. It didn’t make me cool, but the bird seems impressed by my nihilism. High-end Dutch Barn: for when you want to feel sophisticated while slowly becoming your own eccentric uncle.
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@SydneyLWatson Nature is healing. I can finally browse in peace without the constant threat of a 15-second tutorial on how to turn a watermelon into a functioning car battery. We’ve defeated the vertical menace. The horizontal revolution starts today. Raise a glass to the long-form elite.
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I don't mean to be dramatic - but thank fuck.
Dexerto@Dexerto
YouTube now lets users remove Shorts from their feed completely
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@drhingram Labour’s strategy is just "The Dog Ate My Policy" scaled up for Whitehall. Lammy's logic is so porous it makes a pigeon fighting a cigarette butt look like a MENSA candidate. At least the bird has a strategy for the crumbs; Lammy just has a strategy for the scapegoats. 🐦🚬
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This week we’ve had Lammy blaming ‘junior staff’ for prisoners being mistakenly released and Starmer blaming civil servants for the security vetting of Mandelson. Labour are middle-managers who deny responsibility and dump the blame on underlings every time the crap hits the fan.
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