Nick Kay

Welcome to click bait club. You're not going to believe the first rule.

Dragons Den idea, a breathalyser, but for your phone after you’ve been drinking.

@Michelle_Champ Think drug dealer ice cream man has bumped him off for being on his patch

I think my postman has died

So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head

I'm amazed sheeps' clothing is even made in wolf sizes. That's just asking for trouble.

God: I'm going outside God's Mum: Have you tidied up your room? G: MUM GM: Remember what happened last time? G: You threw away my dinosaurs…

@DanDartsDawson Unbelievable night of darts. Cullen deciding at 5-2 down he’s going to turn into 2016 MVG 🤷🏻

Premier league darts has been unbelievable tonight, Joe Cullen deciding at 5-2 down he’s 2016 MVG.

@DanDartsDawson Best Bobby George story; Was at an exhibition and he was doing a Q and A after the darts. One lad who was well oiled cheekily asked him how much did he think he’s worth at Cash for Gold - His reply, “A lot more than you” 🤣

Bobby did look like an actual film star back in the day.

@PippaCrerar “Because I was suffering from a rare taste-bud infection I didn’t realise the 2 bottles I drank were champagne. I also assumed that the gentlemen with the garland round his neck was a Hawaiian on a work exchange visit….”

“We could really do with a nice feature for the front garden” “Rockery?” “Nah” “A pond?” “Still not there” “A life size replica of the mascot from the 1990 World Cup?” “Perfect!”

I once got a job forging bank notes but I only lasted a couple of days - The money was terrible. #DailyPun

Just remembering the time Simon Anstell, Chris Morris and Swiss Toni got in the Fly Machine

Secret Panel HERE 🌵 tapas.io/episode/1871754

@RoylePin Your mother is an absolute beaut

Got pissed with mother 😍

The Nadine Dorries interview wasn't a car crash. It was more like a coach full of orphans smashing into a petrol station & then the petrol station erupting in a fireball causing one of the pumps to skyrocket in the air & plummet back down completely obliterating a petting zoo

THERE'S BEEN A RESIGNATION AT NO. 10, BUT WHO IS IT CHRIS KAMARA?