Not Mark

[cutting through Brazilian jungle] *finds indigenous village* Hi, I'm a Prime member. I'd like to complain that my shipping took three days.

@cold_lil_heartt open.spotify.com/track/4qemoiDi…

i’ll take a joint, a coffee, and your hands all over me

If you don't drink the local water, the trees won't recognize you.

What is the appropriate occasion to drink sherry?

You do not get to decide what you deserve, you get to decide how you experience what you get.

I only exist if you think about me

one time my grandpa took me aside & asked if i could keep a secret & i said yes so then he told me about how he’s in a perpetual time loop where he keeps traveling back & forth between world war 2 & a limp bizkit concert.

Name a movie you've seen more than 7 times with just a GIF

Aw fuck, I woke up again.

I would like to start a very friendly kindness cult with only some of the weird stuff.

Are you tired of feeling like the whole world is just your mind… only to realize your mind’s generating nothing but low-effort hallucinated garbage? Well, I’ve got just the philosophy for you: solip-slop-ism. Congrats champ, you’re the universe’s only thinker, and a mediocre one at that. The good news? You can’t disappoint anyone but yourself… which is virtually impossible given how low your standards are.

@TelepathyTapes My last two cats visited me to let me know they had passed.

Dogs have been known to wait by doors minutes before their owners arrive, no clocks, no cues. Rupert Sheldrake calls it “morphic resonance.” Has your pet ever seemed to know something you couldn’t explain?

@Cortex_Zero Hell yes

Good afternoon everyone. Just for fun, I am going to start making custom profile pictures for all of you. It's a project that will keep my creativity flowing. I'll be doing them at random, but if you would like to be included, just leave a comment. Much love! #ufox #ufotwitter

Silently dissolving from existence

Alright, I cut off 6”, which, isn’t very much but i still need you to tell me you’re proud of me😌

We are apexing

@HopeWellWins The sheer relative size of the bar!

What are the five greatest human Space accomplishments of all time? Asking for a friend.

Every guy in Boston is 5'7 and every guy in rural NH is 6'1... These guys are growing like goldfish

Maybe next time we make a constitution, we figure out how to let the people have an emergency vote or something?

@Design_Assassin @Spell_boundd