Ian Acheson 🇬🇧☘️

I'm going to stand up for the rights of prison officers to work safely & protect national security. I don't care how inconvenient my views are or how overlooked I am as a result. The state and its agents have failed in a basic moral duty. That is worth more than gongs, trust me.

And with the strategic nous we've come to know and love, this jam tonorrow boast announced on *same day* BBC reveal 32% of probation appointments with very high-risk offenders, such as child abusers and rapists, did not take place because of unmanageable supervision workloads. 🤷‍♂️

Ah, lads. Even the NAO says probation is ‘unsustainable’: only 26% of targets met, risk properly assessed in just 28% of cases. More surveillance, less public protection, front line staff missing or broken with workload. None of this is remotely real.

@John_Podmore @IanWest17 Word!

@NotThatBigIan @IanWest17 Baron Big Ian of Dartmoor has a ring to it- for services to asking difficult questions

Why does everyone responsible for this debacle just keep getting promoted?

@John_Podmore @IanWest17 I'm quite content with my second prize in the 1969 Cow and Gate bonny baby competition, thank you.

@IanWest17 Need help on compiling an accurate list. Romeo: Dame Commander, Rees: CB, Jarman- Howe: CBE , Coppel CB (?) Coccia CBE(?) , Woodhill ex OBE ? @NotThatBigIan Knighthood 🤣🤣🤣🤣

'Legitimacy' Their armed wing 'freed': Farmers Teachers Nurses Doctors Police Officers Postmen Prison officers Worshippers Children Civil Servants Shopkeepers Judges Publicans Builders Chefs MPs Census workers By murdering them. Legitimising that is the morality of the asylum.

Falling front line prison officers, unstoppable rise of HQ bureaucrats, failing prisons at their highest levels. High Security jails in chaos. Every picture tells a story @DavidLammy Get a grip, man!

Yesterday at PMQs, Keir Starmer failed to answer a single one of Kemi Badenoch’s questions. At this rate, Prime Minister’s Questions may as well be rebranded as a “no comment” police interview. Here’s Kemi turning him into a Golden Retriever. {Satire}

There's a quare wee stretch to the days round here. #dartmoor

Russian roulette with public safety. Protection through sheer luck. Mad. '32% of probation appointments with very high-risk offenders, such as child abusers and rapists, did not take place between 2023 and 2025 because staff had unmanageable schedules.' bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…

The Notts Police SIO writes in his decision log of contacting the force Comms head to "ascertain what covenants can be imposed on the press". I've worked inside policing as a press officer and Comms head. This mindset is entirely commonplace. In my experience, if information is likely to expose police failings, pressure to gatekeep and "control the narrative" rapidly builds. The College of Policing & NPCC seem to know the "media handling" elements of the Calocane case will cause public outrage, and have pre-emptively launched a "reset" of relations. This is cynical stuff. In reality, NO "lessons will be learned" precisely because the same instincts to "prevent reputational damage" will kick in whenever the next catastrophic failure occurs. theguardian.com/uk-news/2026/m…

I make no apology for the simulation. You won't see pictures of officers injured by intolerable levels of violence because everything is hidden behind high walls and action a glacial pace when it's not an initiative that impacts HQ (population 5,844) miles behind front line.

You were apparently determined 6 months ago @DavidLammy to “to restore tough law and order” in prisons. 6 months on 25 out of 500 officers trained in Taser and your @MoJGovUK is too embarrassed even to say how many of your 5,000 stab vests made it to the front line. Weak. Feeble.

Independent reviewer of terrorism Jonathan Hall tells @TomSwarbrick1 @LBC that the war increases the risk of a terrorism act in a prison - at a time when @charlie_taylor6 is telling us about the dire state & lack of control in the prisons holding terrorist prisoners.

HMP Swaleside from the archives: No excuse. None.

Just stick with this for a moment. Imagine this was a HMIPolice verdict on a constabulary, @DavidLammy. We both know the Chief Constable would be carrying out his desk in a cardboard box before tea time. But in your ministry of Always Someone Else's Problem, silence.

Prisoners in one of Britain’s worst jails are routinely making and carrying weapons, a watchdog has revealed @DavidLammy @JamesTCobbler @PRTuk @charlie_taylor6 @HMIPrisonsnews @PoliceInspForum @POAUnion @POAnatchair @Prisongovernor1 @DannyShawNews @NJ_Timothy @PrisonStorm @NotThatBigIan @NPorter_ @PrisonPlanet @PrisonBreak telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/1…

HMP Swaleside: Verdict: 'Morale amongst officers during our inspection was very poor; many looked exhausted & some appeared to have become disassociated from the chaos around them.' IN ANY OTHER PUBLIC SERVICE ACCOUNTABLE SENIOR LEADERS WOULD EITHER RESIGN IN SHAME OR BE FIRED.

If boys and men are excluded then women and girls can have nothing at all apparently

@MOJ And so a Zombie department lumbers on. Impervious to criticism, incapable of change. Stuffed at the top with invisible bureaucrats, broken at the sharp end. No order, no control, no hope. 10/10

@MOJ Where is prisons minister Timpson in all of this? Rarely seen outside the warm bath of NGO actovists.Held hostage by officials & only rolled out in rare times there's anything good to say about a service in absolute freefall. This is a harder gig than putting heels on shoes. 9/

The long term and high security prison estate holds the most dangerous people in Britain including those who can harm national security. It's clear from this awful red alert to ministers that it is failing. 1/