Mo

@georgediano He should be offed

Gentlemen, standing before you is none other than Mpenzi Chokuu a.k.a Malaya kwa Ubora Wake. From a distance, any sane man would think this is a fine, soft-spoken slayqueen imported directly from Seychelles for bwana Kasongo. But behold, Chokuu is a man with a Fully matured Makagare, na inasemekana amebeba muzinga hapana machesoo. Chokuu was once an ordinary hustler in Kisumu doing construction jobs. But as you all know, mjengo life is harder than passing a sobriety test after a weekend in Juja. Today you’re carrying cement, tomorrow the foreman is insulting your entire bloodline because you misplaced one brick. When life became unbearable, our boy packed his small bag, two jeans, one Arsenal jersey, and dreams of survival, then headed straight to Mombasa to become a beach boy. One afternoon while applying sunscreen on tourists & pretending to know German, Chokuu was approached by an elderly mzungu man who had retired from Ikus and upgraded to team Sundus. The old man flashed some euros. Chokuu looked at the money, looked at his economic situation, looked at his sitting apparatus and said “Wamuthede ni fire si fire.” Our boy accepted the deal at a lightning speed. He told himself one small trip to Dogo Kundu area wouldn’t hurt compared to the suffering of maisha ya hustler. But my brothers, what started as survival slowly became a full-time profession. Chokuu became so dedicated to customer service that the old mzungu decided the young man deserves a promotion. Next thing you know, his visa was approved! From carrying simiti in Kisumu to becoming an international export in Germany. Immigration officers approved his Visa very fast because of his Occupation as an Advanced Backside Consultant,, Chesaa!! Unfortunately, life is unpredictable. Six months later, the old mzungu kicked the famous bucket and went to meet his ancestors in Sayuni. Chokuu was left stranded in Germany with no sponsor, no plan, and rent waiting like a hungry landlord in Mukuru kwa Njenga. But our boy refused to go back to poverty. He simply said If life gives you lemons, upgrade the business model. He went for hormonal injection to lower his testosterone, did a BBL procedure to increase mafrrrrrrmbanya & did a plastic surgery to install silicone boobs. Our boy transformed so much that men now lose concentration immediately he passes. Today Chokuu is one of the most outsourced trans Milaya in Germany. Appointments are fully booked like NTSA during driving test season. Men are spending euros left and right thinking they found a premium European babe, only to discover they’re dealing with a former Site operator wa Kisumu affordable housing Phase 2. Lemme tell you Maina, this Kasongo economy has forced many people to change careers… but Chokuu changed departments, operating system, and even motherboard. Aki ya Mungu hii ni mambo Kanii. Anyway, kama kawa siku zote sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@pmcafrica 😂😂

Bro said... hold my glasses 👓

@mfc_mrpage How Arsenal fans will be watching you all. More tears for you, more🍿 for us

Manchester City fans will be watching Pep Guardiola’s final & farewell game in charge against Aston Villa. Liverpool fans will be watching Mohamed Salah’s emotional farewell against Brentford. Manchester United fans will be watching Bruno Fernandes chase the assist record against Brighton. Chelsea fans will be watching their final league game with hopes of securing qualification for UEFA Europa League. Tottenham fans will be watching the relegation battle until the final minute. Nobody will care about anything else the Premier League title away at Crystal Palace. Only them.

@JoeNjogujoe @DCI_Kenya Oyaa, wewe ongea kama wako mrevu tuchome magari gunia na meno brown kama shonde la mamako mjinga aliozaa mjinga kama wewe na babako mlevi wa kujikojolea akishalewa. Gasia taka taka

@Okongoams @DCI_Kenya unaongea kama rais wako mjinga

DCI PURSUES PRIME SUSPECTS BEHIND THIKA ROAD VEHICLE TORCHING The Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) has received and is currently analysing viral video footage that is believed to feature individuals among the prime suspects involved in the torching of a Mazda CX-5 along Thika Road during today’s protests. This incident not only endangered lives but also resulted in significant property damage, and investigations remain active. Detectives are diligently pursuing crucial leads aimed at identifying, and apprehending all those involved in this criminal act. The DCI urges members of the public who may recognise any individuals captured in the footage or possess relevant information regarding the incident that may aid in the ongoing investigations to share the information promptly at the nearest police station or through the #FichuaKwaDCI hotline. You can report anonymously by calling 0800 722 203 (toll-free) or through WhatsApp at 0709 570 000. The National Police Service reiterates its commitment to upholding public safety, protecting property, and ensuring that individuals who exploit protests for criminal activities are brought to justice in accordance with the law.

@IfGacao @DCI_Kenya Not a tribe issue here, doesn't matter from which hole they come from. Even if it were my son, I can't support such degeneracy

@Okongoams @DCI_Kenya He's not even a kiuk. Have some sense

@Arsenal Is Harvetz playing no. 7 or 9. He's Already looking out of place and not on form. Gyokeres should come immediately in 2nd half

SO CLOSE TO THE OPENER 😩 Trossard's brilliant effort cannons back off the post! 🔴 0-0 🔵 (15)

@Ochorakot So why burn someone's property? What if you have a medical emergency. This intolerance could only be castigated when it was Luos

Hapa insurance italipa kweli? Ama watamuambia hii risk kama angesikiza gari haingechomeka.

@martinsstony 😂

Customer mwenzako ameenda, utalipa na cash au M-pesa?

@georgediano There's a way I watch this story and I feel fire burning inside me. If Imudia was my brother or son I would have revenge big. Nonetheless, @DCI_Kenya should act and make this an example for many snakes out there

Some of us can never end like Nick Imudia. Personally, I'm one very SHAMELESS man. A few years back, I supplied high voltage electricity to a certain woman here on X out of lust. She went ahead and started blackmailing me using a friend. At that time, my marriage was still flourishing, and I would literally do anything just to keep the secret. But I realized the worst that could happen is just getting the silent treatment or probably a divorce, which actually came much later on. When the pressure became unbearable, I had to talk to mama Liam and told her about the entanglement. But when she asked me about the woman's identity, I had to show her a different picture just to avoid embarrassment because I had finessed one of the ugliest creatures on planet Earth. By the time the lady was thinking of exposing me, I had already controlled the damage. When she saw I wasn't moved by her threats, she came out claiming that I wasn't blessed in length and width, but my other hoes came out to call her out, citing that ameanza story za jaba. Some of us are made of hard stuff. You can do all those things, we lose jobs, you take us to court, and we still roam the streets with our heads high. Killing oneself because of a stupid woman is something we cannot do. Life is renewable. People can do or say all manner of things about you. But like dust, rise!! Having an extramarital affair with another woman is not a criminal offence. At most, Nick Imudia could lose his job over it and probably have trust issues with the wife back at home. He was simply a weak man. Not even billboards of my nudes can make me kill myself. What's the worst that could have happened if he had just let her expose their affair? He would have lost his position maybe, or lost his wife, which is also a maybe. And life would go on, the nigga was weak and most probably a simp. You are scared of people knowing you had sex! The same people you are hiding your shame from are also hiding their shame. Yours may not surprise them. Don't let no one take your life because of shame. Accept it, learn from it, and become a better version of yourself. Amaze them. After watching that story, I can say women are in the business of pure soullessness. A man should care less what a woman decides to do in such a scenario. As a man, be shameless and remember having another woman around should not be rocket science,, face it and let her do what she does best. Never be shaken, but learn from the consequences. Our boy Nick Imudia would have sought advice from Obado the former Governor of Migori. This issue would have been settled with finality and fatality vile inafa. If you know you know!! As always, men hold fellow men accountable for their actions even in death. The other gender only cries for justice and plays the victim. May he rest in peace, and may all men be extra careful if they choose to engage in extramarital affairs. Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

@ESPNUK And then this👇

Burnley's record vs. the Premier League's 'big six' in 2026. Arsenal next 👀

@SonOfKisumu @clarabazel254 Those are hotspots. Thieves dwell those sides, just as kondele or githurai. They pray for any disorder to take advantage and steal

@Okongoams @clarabazel254 Ooh,thank you for the information. But ameongea about goons stealing, kwani a politician was moving around ama what happened? Quite unfortunate.

Spent my day watching my small business being reduced to rubbles. Kisumu goons, I raise you 🤦😭😭.

@SonOfKisumu @clarabazel254 Yeah, it's in nyalenda kisumu. Around quickmart supa.

@Okongoams @clarabazel254 Unajua hio place?

@clarabazel254 @SonOfKisumu Nyalenda western?

@SonOfKisumu Western Junction opposite KAG church Millimani

@CalisNgeno @GovLeeKinyanjui

@GovLeeKinyanjui ...and then it comes back to continue stealing chicks. Learn to finish the story.

By the time the eagle attains forty years, its body is weak and no longer fit for purpose. The beak becomes soft and unable to tear its prey, while the talons weaken, making it difficult to pounce and lift its catch. The feathers also become overgrown and heavy, further complicating flight. With these challenges, survival is at risk. And tough choices are required. To buy a new lease of life, the eagle retreats to a faraway place. It hits its beak against a rock until it breaks, sheds its talons to allow fresh growth, and finally plucks its feathers, enduring the harsh elements while awaiting new, lighter feathers to grow. During the sojourn, many rumours make the rounds. Some say it died, while others say it was eaten. But the eagle remains silent. After the sojourn, the eagle flies back home energised, renewed, and focused. Have a good evening, Nakuru.

@georgediano 🥂🤝

This story is disturbing. Reports allege that former D.Light Africa CEO Nick Imudia was pushed to the edge after a toxic affair with a PA turned into blackmail, threats, and emotional torture. Allegedly the side hen got pregnant and started demanding favors at work. She wanted a staff member fired so she could take over the position with double salary. She Secretly recorded private videos and threatened to expose him to the board and his wife. She Forced him into signing an NDA and paying her KSh 7.8 million for silence. Despite the payment, the information allegedly still reached his wife. Before his death, Nick reportedly sent a chilling message: “You’ve won” and told his lawyer, “Keep fighting for me.” This left many Kenyans shocked and heartbroken. He later jumped from the 7th floor to his death. If these allegations are true, this is beyond relationship drama. It’s manipulation, blackmail, and destruction of a human being. Reports claim the two were involved in a secret affair that later turned messy, with allegations of pregnancy, blackmail, leaked private videos, and millions allegedly paid to keep the matter silent. PHOTOs of Diana Kavetsa, the woman allegedly linked to the tragic death of former D.Light Africa CEO Nick Imudia, have surfaced online. Sources further allege that Nick was emotionally drained and under immense pressure before his tragic death after falling from the 7th floor. If the allegations are true, this is a painful reminder of how toxic relationships, manipulation, and blackmail can destroy lives. The same way women are reminded men never carry pregnancy, men should also be reminded that when you're married avoid extra marital affairs with stupid women. it will get to those people you fear knowing and if you're not strong enough, you'll be jumping from all tall buildings. When you're married, treat all other women you're entangled with as prostitutes. His foolishness and lust are the reason he upended his life of privilege and committed suicide. He will serve as a lesson but doesn’t deserve empathy or sympathy. He got played thinking he was controlling the narrative. But why pay her millions when you can hire someone to send her to Sayuni prematurely. Such women deserve no empathy at all.

@EmmanuelMacron @WilliamsRuto We only recognise Russia and China in Kenya. We respect Putin and Xii Jinn Pin for their win win development records in kenya and Africa as they fight you filthy european and american terrorists out of Africa. So get the Fk out of kenya. You pretentious loser

Asante @WilliamsRuto, asante Kenya!

@EmmanuelMacron We hate you and your france macron, we don't want you in kenya. We only recognise His excellency Putin and General Traore.

Made new friends today!

@IGNATIU56207951 @MoraraKebaso Compare Europe and american domestic flights,,, that demand volume you talking of

@MoraraKebaso Hapo kw flights, I strongly believe you have skeptical mind because when the demand is high prices will automatically increase, people travelling to Dar Es Salaam are many as compared to China, go study economics

Some things will take me forever to understand. Why does a 1 and a half hour flight from Nairobi to Dar Es Salaam cost Ksh. 40,000 to Ksh 50,000 yet a 24 hour flight from Nairobi to China is Ksh 75,000. What exactly is going on? Why does accomodation for one night at a four star hotel in Kenya cost Ksh 20,000 yet in China a four star hotel is Ksh 5,000 per night? Why do borrowers in Kenya pay an interest rate of 18% to 22% for loans yet in China the interest rate is 3%. How will a kenyan company that is borrowing to expand its manufacturing technology or equipment compete with a chinese company that is borrowing 1 billion dollars at 3%?

@FabrizioRomano The table👇

🚨 OFFICIAL: Fede Valverde statement. “Yesterday I had an incident with a teammate during a training session. The fatigue from competition and the frustration made everything seem blown out of proportion”. “In a normal locker room, these things can happen and are usually resolved internally without it becoming all public”. “Clearly, someone here is spreading rumors, and with a season without titles, where Real Madrid is always under scrutiny, everything gets blown out of proportion”. “Today we had another disagreement. During the argument, I accidentally hit a table, causing a small cut on my forehead that required a routine visit to the hospital”. “At no point did my teammate hit me, I didn’t hit him either”. “I feel that my anger about the situation, frustration at seeing some of us struggling to get through end of season, giving it our all, pushed me to the point of arguing with a teammate”. “I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry because this situation hurts me, this moment we’re going through is painful”. “Real Madrid is one of the most important things in my life and I can’t be indifferent to it. The result is accumulation of things that culminate in a senseless fight, damaging my image and leaving room for doubt that they will add fuel to the fire of an accident”. “I wasn’t going to speak out until the end of the season. We were eliminated from the Champions League, and I kept my anger and resentment to myself”. “We’ve wasted another year, and I wasn’t in a position to be posting on social media when the only face I had to show was on the field, and I feel that’s what I did. That’s why I’m the one who’s most saddened and pained to be going through this situation that prevents me from playing the next match due to medical decisions”. “I always gave it my all, to the very end, and it hurts me more than anyone not to be able to do so. I am available to the club and my teammates to collaborate on any decision they deem necessary. Thank you”.