Cecilia Woerner

When @Pink says she's "coming up so you better get this party started" I always just imagined her arriving at a roof party via elevator. I literally just realised that line might be about drugs. I am 32 years old.

Everytime you wanna stop drinking somebody birthday or a holiday come up smh

If you have anything you want to sneak into the house, Christmas Eve is the day to do it. Can just rush through the door carrying anything saying “DON’T LOOK! DON’T LOOK!” and people will close their eyes. Next thing you know you’re eating a bucket of KFC safely in the bathroom.

ME IF THERESA DOESNT GET A ROSE TONIGHT #GoldenBachelor #TheGoldenBachelor

@rohindhar Is the “co-ownership home” used as a way to still be able to use the home as a short term rental? I’m not involved in real estate investing, just curious.

An unexpected side effect for communities banning short term rentals is you end up with a lot of “co-ownership homes” taking their place. (Lake Tahoe)

once I asked my parents if they had any ghost stories, and my mom was like "well, we used to live in a farmhouse with a faucet that always leaked." and then my dad said "one time I saw the devil"

Happy snoopy day ily little guy 🫡

Me waking up this glorious Halloween month morning

Oh look! It’s multiple cup of coffee Monday again

surely THIS is the salad that will undo months of fast food and alcohol

@adrianaleijaa @KayleighRB us all of August

My landlord had told me he planned to increase my rent 11% but has decided instead to increase it 25%. Has anyone considered passing some kind of law about this

it’s really hot when a guy knows a lot abt WWII and im tired of pretending it’s not

transitioning ur weekend purse back to ur work purse 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Grandparents have a melt down if you don’t take their money/food