Paige

I haven’t taken my earrings out in 2 weeks is this how you get toxic shock syndrome ???

A fun conspiracy theory would be that cryptocurrency is secretly a Treasury Department program to make the regular economy seem fair and stable by comparison.

twitter currently feeling like the delancey street mcdonalds

“Damn this is not how I expected this to start—oh shit right” - me watching an elaborate production company logo that plays before the movie starts

Sorry for muting you on Instagram :( it’s just that ur beautiful and life seems too easy for you

Face flaking off from the retin-a, nose red from constant Kleenex use, hat hair - I don’t think my bf is prepared for my seasonal molt

Falling asleep with just a little bit of eyeliner on to pretend I had a wilder Friday night than I did

Just heard someone say the best first date idea is to “take some Molly and just go dance” and tbh I don’t agree but I am older now

Being the only single person at a group AirBnB is a fun game of where will I be banished to sleep

you can almost see the screams catching in his throat

well well well if it isn’t me writing all the things from last week’s to-do list on this week’s to-do list

Replied to a Craigslist ad for a cat stroller - mental state is great

Business trip hotel An edible National Treasure 2 on cable! This is what Mary Poppins was—wait this is what Julie Andrews was on about.

Getting high and buying $20 worth of bandaid stuff to help me break in new sandals and also a blue eyeliner - fuckin absolute wild Saturday evening

As someone with hundreds of pictures on my phone of men over 45, my boyfriend being age appropriate is for sure the worst thing about him :/

URGENT REQUEST: WHERE ARE YOU AT MENTALLY? DO NOT DOWNLOAD ANY NEW PICTURES

Posted a chair on Craigslist 30 minutes ago and don’t understand why it’s not sold yet is my Friday night vibe

@SoSure Power

I am convinced that some of the worst people in the world are people who write in to Dear Prudence

Guy I’m dating got a haircut based off a celebrity photo I sent him so I’m feeling very powerful