Paperwork Ninja

All right everyone, since it's almost college football season, I'm going to let you in on a secret: NCAA football coaches are all members of the FBI Witness Protection Program. They're given a ridiculous name and spend years learning how to coach at the college level. 1/x

@FrankZYerbouti @Ancestry I take it her guitar burned you Protect your wife at all costs

@Ancestry My daughter just checked her profile, and I'm deceased, apparently.

The bands have been craptastic all day. I couldn't even get through to W1AW/1's CW transmission earlier.

@rhinegelt @iowahawkblog 🎵In the arms of the aaaaangels FAR AWAAAAAAAAAAAY🎵

@iowahawkblog Where's Sally Struthers when we need her

Please help, my family is dying

@Super70sSports Those people don't have a Maserati that does 185

If Life’s Been Good comes on the radio and you change the station, I’m just going to assume you hate everything that’s awesome.

Out at the radio club, solving all the world's problems one at a time

@iowahawkblog "As long as we beat Northwestern everything is fine beep boop" - Purdue BOT

I know Purdue is a techie school but honestly putting a bot in charge of hiring their president is a bridge too far

@3YearLetterman @jarvis_best @iowahawkblog He's doing his best as a strong black dead woman on the internet

@iowahawkblog @jarvis_best The Jarvis table will be Western society bottoming out

Does that shit really say “tech journalist”

@LouisvilleGun I miss all the good stuff I guess

Watching the crashout

@japan_nobunaga @DillowTalk2 My hometown has a gun shop across the street from an elementary school. It's only open by appointment because the owner wants to keep parents from worrying.

Hello from Japan 🇯🇵👋 I have a question for Americans 🇺🇸🙋 I've never seen a real gun in my life. Only in anime and movies. Is it true that Americans sometimes see guns at stores like Walmart? In Japan, we only see them on TV. Is that normal in America? 🤔

@punkeydoodles8 @Wizards_DnD What's my answer?

D&D RIDDLE ON THE WALL! WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER? @Wizards_DnD

@DoinksTheFrog @DownGrayedd I only want them if they're hot Fed women

All women on the internet are feds

@WithTheYew @PeaGravelNed Johnny Morris is digging a grave as we speak so he can lay down and spin in it.

Age restricted purchase at Bass Pro. SMDH

@RantyAmyCurtis KITTEH!

Status update. I am sitting on my bedroom floor with him.

@BPiddles The last time I tried to raise perennials they didn't make it through the summer.

I finally got some flowers planted. I usually do it at the beginning of the month, but the weekends have all been too cold or too rainy to work. I picked up some coreopsis and dianthus in addition to my usual petunias and geraniums. I want to see if I can get perennials to stay.

@Bob_Janke Prop comedy at its finest!

I'll be at the Improv Comedy Club tonight. Whipping batteries at people

@TugboatPhil And if you swear a lot while describing something you're using coarse code

The US Cavalry sent secret messages in Horse code.

@SandyofCthulhu @MisterFabulist No javelina?

If you're in Texas, these are your choices for your starter Pokemon. Yours?

@tuuu28283 We use it that way here on X. In real life it's still "good morning."

アメリカの兄弟達 good morning＝GMだと思うんだけど 会話でGMって使うんですか？

@DougRus24467683 We both decided to go with that. Should fix it easily.

@PaperworkNinja Start with that then do whatever ya dad makes you do....

The finish on Dad's Blackstone is flaking off. Probably just sand it and hit it with some high-temp paint unless anyone has a better idea.