PUNkin2🇨🇦🇺🇲🇬🇧🇮🇪🎸⚽🥅🏒🐈🌊🌊🌊

Karma: The man who just drove into my parking space I was waiting for and told me to f off is here for a job interview, With me. @mariana057

@PaulSchleifer And yet a torpedo will take him down

Must be great to live in a country so free you need 2 guns and a rocket launcher to feel brave enough to buy a sandwich.

@NotAvgLiberal @brontyman

@EastEndJoe @ZenArchist_ Give me a few to recharge my battery.

Best caption wins a dinner with Melania.

@ronsterd89 T A C O S !

What is your first thought when you open this fridge?

@bagsfan75_Tony @JustCari82 Could she be 12? Lol

Happy birthday to me 🤣🤣🤣

@LauraRiggaro Russia said they'll do it for 8mil.

Iranian hackers breached Kash Patel’s personal emails but not the FBI’s? And the incompetent Trump administration offers a $10 million dollar reward for information about the Handala hackers, but expects us to believe they didn’t access any classified information. Yeah. Okay.

@Tazerface16 @WPAdmirer Have a big confident smile like ur country has ur back...

Anybody have any tips on how to appear Canadian while traveling internationally? Asking for a friend.

@DocAtCDI @bcbnyc1 It's about cats, so. .

@bcbnyc1 heb probably not if ya knew what it was :P

its 1:30 in the morning, and I'm writing, not jokes this time, workin on my second book :) anyone else out there writing right now? what are ya writing?

@HalfwayPost @DoctorRobin Hope they're ok and didn't chip A tooth🦮

BREAKING: Two police dogs at two separate airports have reportedly bitten ICE agents today.

@DocAtCDI That's just a jist.

@PatReardon11 well I mean... cat... so...

@mindys4Biden That's a follow!

I'm so sick of him. I'm sick of people pretending he's not an idiot. I'm sick of his lies and his disgusting amorality. I'm sick of his face, his voice, his smirk. I'm sick of his inability to say even one thing remotely kind or humble or appropriate ever. I'm just so sick of him

@Mollyploofkins @sumsumnoodle Of course! Why start now?

Truth

@janee7489 @MamaDLynn Cancer affects us all. Good bouy!

Not to be dramatic but… In the middle of a literal global dumpster fire… MY DOG BEAT CANCER. Chancey is officially tumor free. Scans clear. Unheard of. He fought like hell. He won. The chaos hasn’t stopped. But I’m not dimming this light. I refuse to minimize this. He beat cancer. Thanks for listening.

@DocAtCDI I thot clone is what you put on to smell nice?

My friend said he didn't understand what cloning was. I said that makes two of us.

@DocAtCDI @Amutabi_Nasibi That's not funny

@Amutabi_Nasibi imagine living your entire life and never even knowing what a sense of humor is...

Imagine working in a supermarket and meeting John Travolta in person

Name 2 sports that don't use nets in their game

@IVoteBlue2024 Kid stoned

@PatReardon11 Kid Rocked

Guess people aren't kidding.... Bout rock