Phil Mayhem

And y'all think I made this this for important purposes. Psh, jokes on you dumbass. Welcome to the shit show.

The internet said anything under 200lbs is victim weight & he believed it

@SUBWAY so you got me the Jeffrey Dahmer box of sub package now? I didn’t know my box of sub comes with a knife. Very classy. Crime may come afterwards. Tell your Ocean Pines, MD location to check their boxes of sub before sending them out.

@FoodLion @HisshoSushi To whom it may concern…. Sell the full line of sushi and sushi products at ALL stores. You know what I mean. Start with the Ocean Pines, MD location since it is closest. I appreciate ya big dawg. I mean, big cat.

Oliver Tree's last video on the Internet is currently resurfacing and he revealed that he feels his life is in DANGER after he left his record label Atlantic Records 😳👀 "They told me to watch my back and that I will regret leaving them" "I just wanted better for my career"

Wild

@pepsi @PepsiCo Can we talk about this monstrosity that you have given life to; like Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, knowing full well that it is an abomination of God and is heavily frowned upon as a BIG “No-No”. Ashamed isn’t even the word,You really let me and the world down.

@GrillosPickles FOR ONCE….I DONT EVEN HAVE SOMETHING BAD TO SAY. MUTHAFUCKA KEEP DOING YOUUUUU BABYYYYYY THE FUCKING PICKLE CHIPS HAVE ME IN A MUTHAFUCKING CHOKEHOLD DAMN YOU 🤣

@realDonaldTrump nigga… you can start a war no one asked for, got gas prices making me debate on a stealing a horse that Idk how to ride, and STILL won’t pardon Joe Exotic so we can get a 3rd season of Tiger King. Wack. Fuck 2026. Wait till I’m president. Lame ass.

@FBI gimme like 10 days or by tonight, I’ll be on your radar as a “person of interest” Not like a threat to the country, but like….….you just wanna get to know a nigga. Actually, what team you pick in Pokemon Go? Say yellow rn. And drink some damn water. Thirsty ass.

@bucees Build a store in OC MD, right on the beach. It should look like this….but less @Walmart great value version. More Midwestern American 🇺🇸

@Target and bitch, why ain’t you closer to me???? I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU

@Walmart IT IS THE LORD’S YEAR OF TWO THOUSAND AND TWENTY SIX ON PLANET EARTH, AND I STILL CAN’T FUCKING TAP TO PAY????? I’M FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE AT CHECKOUT 🤣

@NianticLabs idk if I should…. A: actually fear what you’re up to B: Question what you’re doing with all this mapping data and AI 👀 C: Ask for more Pokécoins in Pokemon Go D: Call you a bitch and put a sick in your bikes front rim so you fall when you go to pedal E: D&C

@WhiteHouse When I win the next presidential election…. (Not “if”, “When” muthafucka) Y’all better be prepared to put a damn presidential racing simulator in one of the empty ass bedrooms in there. Actually, put it downstairs in the bunker. I wanna make sure it’s safe.

@fia **Heavy breathing and continuing to look at you In disbelief that in the year of 2026, we still don’t have Group B Rally back**

@Arbys it’s time to put my big boy pants on, and admit: I owe you an apology. My bad big dawg.

@tacobell oh, and do not think for a second I wasn’t reloading the clip to come at your dumb ass. Stop playing with my emotions BRING THE DAMN C.A. EMPANADA BACK PERMANENTLY. and build a damn location in either West O.C. Or O.C. Maryland. I’m tired of going to Salisbury. Fuck

@Wendys now you just know….i was coming for you. Stop being a basic redhead bitch and going tic for tac with @McDonalds CEO, and just pull a lil Wayne. Give us the equivalent to sorry for the wait. Give us We Beefin? Pt. 2 I need it. The world needs it. Your mom needs it.