Phil Wych

@fatwap73 He was in his own back yard though Gaz.

How has Nick Ball lost that? Fucking joke.

@ConnorSmythe5 😂 actual petrol

@fatwap73 What a series

Barry Season 4 finale 👌 #BarryHBO

Nate Diaz when he goes out to socialize

There are very few good father role models in society. However, Bluey's Dad has turned my life around. I am genuinely a better father and husband now I pause and think, what would Bluey's Dad do.

@ConnorSmythe5 “Almost everyone is too scared to sound like a tightarse to mention it.” You never shutup about it

@TomPezz @fesshole @AshHelm Jokes on you because I actually did get an anal orgasm.

@fesshole @AshHelm this absolutely reeks of @PhilWych

When I was a young teenager I oddly assumed that gay people like anal sex because if someone came in your ass, you'd get this awesome anal orgasm. So I wanked and poured my cum into a little plastic water pistol, and fired it up my my ass. Didn't get any kind of anal orgasm.

Early Doors. Tonight. BBC4. To the regiment 🍻 #EarlyDoors

Me watching Saul Goodman being funny in Breaking Bad after watching Better Call Saul.

@TomPezz @fesshole @AshHelm I don’t wear any mate.

@fesshole @AshHelm this has @PhilWych written all over it.

Some of my older boxer shorts have holes in the testicular region. I haven't thrown them out as I quite enjoy how my trousers tickle my undercarriage when I walk.

Thought Peter Crouch had died for a sec

@AshHelm @DwayneMuffin What a place. Spread my ashes in there.

Oh will it be ready soon? Looking promising for all my friends bars and places

@monzo @ConnorSmythe5 round down.

You owe someone £9.98. Are you paying them back the exact amount, or rounding it up to £10?

@TomPezz @AshHelm

@AshHelm @PhilWych Stuck Benoit’s song on his moody playlist.

The shoplifter

@ConnorSmythe5 That last one is actually my front door mat.

At Marine, where the floodlights have gone out. One of Dunston’s midfielders is a spark and he’s trying to sort it out. Now on the phone to a mate back in the north east.

@GaryDelaney @AshHelm

I’m a bit of a party pooper. I always get too drunk and shit my pants.