Polyphonic Pirate

Dark Folk for Bayou Stoics 🐊 open.spotify.com/album/0mG4riE6…

@ashleyschendel And for the love of George Costanza get a small wallet.

Very rarely will you need to buy your husband a new wallet, but when that day comes, it is somehow a major household decision and you cannot screw it up. Men will carry the same wallet for 20 years with the corners falling apart and still say it’s fine. So this is not the moment for creativity. Slim, durable, leather if he’s a leather guy, metal if he already likes that kind of thing. Do not surprise a man with a weird wallet.

@Osint613 Starting to think maybe we shouldn’t trust the Chinese guys.

NYP Reporter: Prior to boarding Air Force One to depart Beijing, the entire U.S. delegation disposed of every item provided to them by their Chinese hosts. Gifts, badges, pins, and commemorative items were all dumped into a trash bin on site. The directive was absolute, no item of Chinese origin was permitted to board the aircraft. The precautions extended beyond the departure itself. Delegation members had left all personal electronic devices at home before traveling to China and operated exclusively on clean burner phones throughout the duration of the trip.

@Mark_Sisson It’s a disaster that people don’t want to drink? I don’t get it.

Disaster in the making

@VideoGameHstry Remaster ocarina you cowards

Would you play a remaster of Super Mario 64?

@chefsevenn That fridge is gonna smell real bad in a few days.

What’s your first thought when you see this fridge?

@scrumble_eggs Is he a medical doctor or like a guy with a PHD that demands people call him Dr. Pepper?

Admit it. You assumed that Dr. Pepper was a man. You didn’t even consider that Dr. Pepper could be a woman.

Why aren't double stacked hot dogs a thing?

@Jainadave_ Imagine you are being chased by a bear.

Gym people, does anyone have any tips to make cardio fun?

@BowTiedYukon The average guy reading motivational posts is still mathematically very important to the average

You have to pay a price to be more than average & most people aren’t willing to pay that price You have to work hard, take responsibility & have discipline If you don’t want to be average you have to be willing to sacrifice. The more you sacrifice the less average you will be

@trinity2pointO The AC Slater lifting position.

I literally think 90% of shoulder press machines out there feel/hit better when you sit facing it.

@dissidentwest Sounds like you should smoke weed in the middle of the night to solve your problem.

Ever since I quit smoking marijuana the quality of my sleep has improved dramatically, but now I can rarely sleep throughout the entire night without waking up. Is there anything I can do or take to stop waking up an hour or two before my alarm goes off?

@Hitchslap1 Never. Every man is given one wallet they must carry until the end of their life.

Serious question for the men. How often do you replace your wallet?

Air fryers are just tiny convection ovens with a publicist

@dog_rates Nailed it.

This is Jam. He said he was the highest jumping golden retriever in Ontario. May or may not have lied on his resume. Still 13/10

@nut_history Surprised the fans didn't enjoy the tummysticks celebration.

Apparently, MLB told the Giants to stop doing this. Thoughts?

@mike_daddino And they say baseball isn't athletic.

How is this even possible?

@ClownWorld The rock market used to be more grounded

A woman at the stone yard completely shocked because they’re charging $175 for a small irregular boulder and $229 for a medium one. She’s walking around zooming in on the price tags going ‘do people actually pay $175 for a fucking rock?’ and ‘it gets better… these ones are $229’ while losing her mind over it. Plain rocks on pallets. Nothing special. She even says they’re not fucking gold, it’s just a rock.

@LauraPowellEsq Now they doomscroll for their self destructive behavior.

Everyone recognizes this as a symptom of something bad, right?

@JohnLeFevre Or you could just go hang out and not drink.. why would anyone care if you decided not to drink?

Skipping drinks with colleagues, friends, and women in your 20s & 30s to “protect your health” is quietly sabotaging your career, your social circle, and your dating life. Learn to drink responsibly. A few drinks build bonds that kale smoothies never will.

@DeanTTraining This machine is rough, I have one at our gym. Nice work. What’s your barbell flat bench as a reference? Three plates on this machine is a kick in the ass.

The GOOD news: This is a lifetime PR for me…320 lbs x 7 with 1 in the tank The BAD news: This set did NOT help me build any muscle whatsoever since it’s outside of the “growth rep range” Everyone knows only sets of 10, 11, & 12 build muscle The body keeps count!