Klar Name

Important but disturbing report on CNN’s investigation into the movement of men drugging their partners and then raping them while they are passed out. edition.cnn.com/interactive/20… “The world was confronted by this form of internet-enabled abuse in 2024 during the mass rape and drugging trial of Dominique Pelicot and 50 other men in southern France. It was on a so-called dating website, in a chatroom called “Without Her Knowledge,” that Pelicot was able to connect with dozens of other men to instigate the rapes of his then-wife, Gisèle. While drugged unconscious by him, she was raped over 200 times by 70 men, not all of whom could be tracked down by police. The Pelicot case briefly shone a spotlight on this dark corner of the internet. But while Coco, the website involved, was shut down and public attention moved elsewhere, this behavior did not disappear. A monthslong CNN As Equals investigation has uncovered a hidden, online world where the commodification and amplification of sexual violence against women is flourishing. […] Men in these groups operate shielded by the anonymity of the internet. But they also find a sense of community and perverse camaraderie, as they normalize abuse. For months, Piotr spoke openly with us and even shared what he said was his address. […] When Zoe Watts learned that her husband of 16 years had been crushing her son’s sleeping medicine into her tea and raping her while she was passed out, it shattered her world. “We worry about who’s coming behind us, walking down the street, or who’s even friending us on Facebook. You know, we worry about going to our car late at night in a car park, but we don't worry about who you lie next to. I didn't realize I had to,” Watts said. Her then husband's confession came on an otherwise ordinary Sunday in 2018, after the couple – who share four children – had returned from church. “He reeled off a list of his wrongdoings... as if it was, you know, a shopping list,” Watts said, speaking to CNN at her house in Devon, England. He told her the abuse had been going on for years. “He just sort of said... ‘I've been using our son's sleeping medication to put in your last cup of tea at night, to tie you down, take photographs and rape you.’” The admission left Watts questioning all their intimate moments. “At the end of a very busy day… I was just grateful I had a cup of tea before I went to bed, because I was so tired and didn't have to make it,” she said, adding: “You don't expect anything other than innocence to come from your partner.” Concerned about her children and still grappling with what had happened to her, she initially kept it a secret. The internal struggle eventually took a toll on her health. After a serious panic attack, Watts told her sister. Then their mother called the police. While she believes pressing charges was the right decision, at the time, it was agonizing. A four-year legal process saw her children become targets for bullying at school, and left her social network all but destroyed. Watts said one of the many difficult aspects of her ordeal has been confronting people’s assumptions about abuse within a marriage, even though she recognizes that they are rooted in misinformation and unconscious bias. “I've had people say: ‘Yeah, but he's your husband,’ or ‘but you weren't awake.’ ‘So... it's not the same as being taken down an alleyway, is it?’” Her ex-husband is serving an 11-year sentence for rape, sexual assault by penetration and drugging. Watts still struggles to use the word rape to describe what happened to her. It is too painful. “There's a shame and a guilt that comes with it, that, ‘Oh, maybe I should have known, or I can't believe I didn't realize. Why didn't I connect those dots?’ she said. ‘He was trying to change my reality’ That enduring stigma is exactly what Gisèle Pelicot has sought to challenge on the international stage, telling the world at her former husband’s trial that “shame must change sides.” In the town of Wigan, northwest England, Amanda Stanhope – who too, was raped by her ex-partner – said Gisele’s strength inspired her to speak out. “She broke the silence and shame... if she can do it, then so can I,” Stanhope said. She now posts videos on social media to spread awareness about this type of abuse, encouraging women to trust their instincts. Over a five-year period, Stanhope said she would often fall asleep without remembering how, and would wake up to bruises on her body and in different clothes, with a towel under her, without any memory as to why. After waking up a few times to her partner violently raping her, Stanhope knew something was wrong and asked him to stop. Instead, Stanhope said, she was gaslit. “He would then turn on me and say, ‘well, you're on too much medication. You must be imagining it. That didn't happen. You're mental. You're crazy,’” she said. “So even though I felt 100% sure that something had happened... he was trying to change my reality, (saying) that it hadn't happened, even though the physical signs were there.” With the support of her brother, Stanhope eventually went to the police. Her former partner was charged with rape and sexual assault. He took his own life before the case went to court. Sharing her story is part of Stanhope’s healing process. But the trauma has unequivocally changed her outlook. “I see everyone as a potential predator,” Stanhope said, adding: “It took my innocence for people away.””