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For the folks asking where they can find me ... You can hear #TheRalphReport every Monday thru Friday right here: patreon.com/theralphreport
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ralphgarman
25.8K posts
ralphgarman
@RalphGarman
Philly boy goes to Hollywood to sell his soul ... Still looking for a buyer.
Los Angeles, CA Katılım Ağustos 2010
2.9K Takip Edilen104.7K Takipçiler
Can you believe some awful radio jerks called the president of France as Jerry Lewis?! Listen to me and @thekevinryder talk about it...
play.prx.org/listen?ge=prx_…
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ralphgarman retweetledi
Lindsey Graham getting reelected over and over is kind of like how the mayor in Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws II.
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ralphgarman retweetledi
ralphgarman retweetledi
For the record, the president of the United States is now simultaneously claiming that he has won the war, is currently winning the war, needs help to win the war, and needs no help to win the war. All to destroy the nuclear program he claims to have already destroyed last year.
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How many times has @BrendanCarrFCC sucked Trump off? It must be hundreds.
FactPost@factpostnews
FCC Chair Brendan Carr calls Trump "the alpha in every single room and every single place all across the world"
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Oh, yeah. That fat orange dementia patient has "Doctor Stranged" every possible scenario and knows EXACTLY what the outcome is going to be. All while shitting himself.
Acyn@Acyn
Stephen Miller: President Trump was aware of and has calculated through every permutation and every degree of strategy
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ralphgarman retweetledi
These are:
- The twins from THE SHINING today
- A lesbian couple who teach at a New England college
- When you ask AI to create the parents of a kid with no friends
- Losers in a Harry Potter lookalike contest
- A sextape starring guidance counselors
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Jesus. This again? Just because someone is stupid, it doesn't make an event a "conspiracy".
Joe Rogan Podcast News@joeroganhq
"Conspiracy theory" catches Joe Rogan off guard. "You son of a b*tch."
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Hey, @TimSheehyMT. Why are you begging for naval help from a "rust bucket", you fenderhead.
The Intellectualist@highbrow_nobrow
GOP Senator insults UK military: "The Royal Navy used to be a great force for good in the world. Now, they are a rust bucket. They should be showing up to support this." FC: Since 9/11, the UK has suffered 6,000+ casualties fighting alongside the US.
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Nah. You just need a receipt. Sometimes not even that. The GOP all sound like aliens trying to blend in as humans, but haven't done enough human things to pull it off.
Acyn@Acyn
Sanders: You have to have an ID to return something to a department store. It shouldn’t be harder than that to vote in our elections.
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As always, @realDonaldTrump was a) lying then, b) is lying now, or c) both.
The Bulwark@BulwarkOnline
Trump: "The war is proceeding very, very strongly. We're doing very, very well…They were two weeks away, in my opinion, two weeks away from having a nuclear weapon."
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ralphgarman retweetledi
Trump says people with learning disabilities are “dumb.” We are not.
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Strike gold at the end of the rainbow with #TheRalphReport! 🍀 Tongue Twister Tuesday, TV Tunes, and more with @RalphGarman, @EddiePence & Queen J!
Join the #Garmy on @Patreon for access to amazing perks like #GarmyVision: Patreon.com/TheRalphReport
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ralphgarman retweetledi
War is hell … as you can see from this photo taken today as President Trump emerged from the bunkers of his Doral Country Club golf course to show America it truly is a shared sacrifice.
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It’s Friday on #TheRalphReport! So, it’s time for the #Garmy Game Show! @RalphGarman is Quizmaster while @EddiePence plays for a lucky Garmy member. Plus your voicemails, the newest TRR Citizen of the week, and the video vault!
@Patreon: Patreon.com/TheRalphReport
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ralphgarman retweetledi
I know this is a weird time to ask, what with the war almost over or just starting.
But was Iran 2 weeks away from having full nuclear capabilities?
Or did we totally destroy them having any nuclear capabilities?
Only asking because the same people have said both.
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ralphgarman retweetledi
"When I don't know something, I just make shit up. Next question."
Aaron Rupar@atrupar
Q: You just suggested Iran got a Tomahawk and bombed its own elementary school. But you're the only person in your govt saying this. Even your defense secretary wouldn't say that. Why are you the only person saying this? TRUMP: Because I just don't know enough about it. It's something I was told is under investigation.
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Killing is funny to Trump. The leader of the U.S. is garbage. What an embarrassment.
Aaron Rupar@atrupar
Trump: "I said, 'Why don't we just capture the ship? We could use it. Why did we sink them?' He said, 'It's more fun to sink them.' They like sinking them better."
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