You Cooking?

@brockpierson Marry my Tesla

Write a happy story using only 3 words

@backontheplanet @CrimeLdn Turning from the outside lane in front of you and slowing down to nip into an exit, Yeah thats 💯 her fault dumbass

@CrimeLdn the Audi driver was only partly to blame surely i.e. the LR driver should have anticipated this better - you should always be more aware of turning/joining vehicles at junctions, especially on an A road

The moment an army Land Rover rolled over as it swerved out to avoid Aruxandei’s grey Audi Q2 on A43 The driver, Crenguta Aruxandei, of Audi, pleaded guilty to two counts of causing serious injury by careless/inconsiderate driving. He handed a six-month prison sentence, suspended for 18 months.

@mentormqsculus That seed gonna be dank as fuck

If child support didn’t exist, modern women wouldn’t be so quick to call for divorce.

@estorsky @AncientArgonaut @VHSDVDBLURAY4K Oh get fucked snowflake, he was only asking what we all rushed to the comments to say

@AncientArgonaut @VHSDVDBLURAY4K Are you seriously asking this question? There is a chance that these actually are ashes, and they must be extremely upset about the fact that ashes spilled, no matter whether it is their grandpa or their cat. You only make it much worse. Shame on you!

Note to self don’t ever use furniture from IKEA for vinyl

@buffys Banoffie Pie

name one thing this country gave to the world

@vorpalsoc @ROIforLIFE @Fridman111063 Simon phoenix did exactly the same thing and that didnt pan out either

@ROIforLIFE @Fridman111063 He's pardoned about 50,000 criminals by now. How stupid are you?

Donald Trump could become the first U.S. president in history to go to prison.

@Dearme2_ Cutting out breakfast has stopped me shitting like an elephant.

Fasting makes you realise that eating 3 meals a day is a scam.

@SH_Its_Chaos Office staff. Always the ones responsible.

@5am1am_6 That tune is dope 👌

It’s actually wild how one movie defined an entire era of our lives. 🥧One minute we were all trying to figure out if high school was actually going to be that chaotic, and the next minute, 27 years have blinked by. Seeing the cast now is such a mood—some of them look like they found the fountain of youth, and honestly? I’m not mad at it. There was just something so different about 1999. It was the peak of pop-punk, the golden age of teen comedies, and a time when "stifler" was a household name. Is it just me, or did everyone in this cast age like fine wine? I’m sitting here wondering if I should be flattered or intimidated by these glow-ups. Let’s be real—seeing them makes me want to dig out my old CDs and act like it’s still the weekend of the big party. Which one of these was your first "Hollywood crush"? Be honest... we all had one.

@TheRealJamieKay Imagine what their house looks like

Do you think it’s acceptable to leave your table in a state like this?

@chillyrainbow @mikelavelle93 🏅

@Ratio_Cooker @mikelavelle93 I love bait. 🎣

Find it baffling how people will sit in the middle lane of the motorway tootling along at 63mph, get passed by cars in both lanes either side of them and not realise they’re doing anything wrong

@chillyrainbow @mikelavelle93 Nice rage bait 👌

@mikelavelle93 I think it’s fine. What’s the hurry?

Cars with black plastic trim around the wheel arches look shit. Every single one of them. The sooner this trend dies the better.

@ayanfenikky No

If a coworker has a car, lives near my house, and drives me to work every day, am I expected to contribute to fuel?

@RaminNasibov Marley & Me

Can someone recommend a movie that will emotionally destroy me?

@sharrond62 Really good film, will make you laugh and cry if you're human. anyone who doesn't like it is a psychopath

Project Hail Mary… who’s been? Ages since I’ve been to the cinema, think this might be the one

@AbbasXSaleh @Platypuss_10 And thats why I divorced her

@Platypuss_10 fast , heavy not enough flaps

A Cargolux pilot narrowly avoided disaster while landing a Boeing 747 at Luxembourg Airport. Despite the challenging situation, exceptional skill and control ensured a safe touchdown.

@benonwine @waitrose check this shit out and cry a river.

The staff in Poundland are so bad ass and hard they only need one arm to deck shoplifters. 🤣👏✊ Not sure what’s more embarrassing getting thrown out by someone with one arm, or being Caught nicking Jaffa Cakes. 🤭

@ronsterd89 Im sorry those folk look embarrassing for you Sir. Birds nest hair, lounge clothes....Despicable.

OK I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it EVERY SINGLE TIME I step foot in Walmart because apparently NO ONE is listening: WHY are people walking around this store looking like they literally just rolled out of bed?!?! Hair looking like a bird’s nest, lounge clothes on, slippers like you forgot you had them on before they you the house. I’m sorry but if you’re gonna come out in public to grocery shop, at least have the common decency to put on REAL CLOTHES! People are so unbelievably lazy these days it’s actually embarrassing. You shouldn’t be trotting around like that in front of actual functioning adults! It’s an embarrassment to everyone around you and quite frankly I get SECOND-HAND embarrassment just having to witness it. Fix yourselves, people. This is not a hotel lobby, it’s WALMART...